[FIC] Brotherhood of Mutant... Nudity
Title: Brotherhood of Mutant... Nudity
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: PG? I guess? Mentions of male and female nudity, not super detailed.
Summary: Raven unintentionally turns the Brotherhood of Mutant Supremacy into a mutant nudist colony. No pairings, unless you squint and wear five pairs of slash/pairing goggles.
A/N: Mashup of this prompt on 1stclass_kink and this one on xmen_firstkink. Originally designed for the latter only, but I ended up--let's just say it's a really pathetic story of misremembering and forgetfulness and yes just a bit of plain stupidity
Azazel uses simple logic.
Raven is blue. Raven walks around naked.
Raven walks around naked because she is blue.
And Erik says nothing about it because... well, it can only mean that birthday suits that are not of a typical skin color are acceptable.
Red birthday suits should be fine, too, then, by that logic.
Azazel contemplates this with his reflection in the mirror. He’s only wearing a half-buttoned shirt (that he borrowed from Janos, but is never going to return because it’s the nicest shirt ever) and a pensive frown.
“Hmm,” he grumbles.
+
Angel and Janos are already eating breakfast when Azazel teleports into the kitchen.
Angel lets out a very surprised squeak. Janos chokes on his coffee and it comes out his nose.
“Azazel, where are your clothes?” he splutters.
Azazel grins fiendishly, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “I decide to follow Mystique’s example. Weird outward mutation is acceptable... substitute for clothing.”
“What?” exclaims Janos in disbelief. “How did you come to that conclusion?”
“I use my brain,” Azazel tells him. He comes around the table and steals a piece of Janos’ toast.
Angel cranes her neck to get a better view. “Do you work out? Like, for your butt?”
+
Erik takes one look at Azazel--and heads for the minibar.
It’s 11 a.m. and he’s too sober for this. Whatever this is.
+
Azazel is delighted when, later that week, Angel and Janos pick up on the nudity thing. Angel lets her wings out more often now, which must feel nice, and Janos... well, Janos really has no reason to walk around naked, but no one’s complaining.
Except Erik, who really doesn’t know what to think of this, and it’s making his brain hurt.
Raven is even more delighted than Azazel when she finds out that this is basically her fault.
+
Emma has been out for two weeks on some clandestine, telepath-only mission (but Azazel has a bet against Raven that Emma’s actually just going out to settle her gargantuan dry-cleaning bills), but when she returns, she doesn’t bat an eyelash.
In fact, when they’re all gathered around playing cards one night, and she gets to really take in the sight of everyone (sans Erik) in the nude, she promptly removes her little white dress (which was too teeny to be accepted as proper clothing by anyone).
“Saves a lot on dry cleaning,” she tells them. “It takes weeks to settle those bills.”
Raven grudgingly hands Azazel a twenty.
+
“I’ve found our first potential recruit,” says Erik.
It’s tough, being the person wearing a turtleneck in a room full of nudists. It’s worse when his helmet doesn’t match his civilian outfit, but he needs to keep it on to prevent Emma from sensing his intense discomfort (that he will never have a stomach like Azazel’s good God, how does he do it). Of course, it’s probably showing on his face, but Erik likes to think (hope) it’s not.
“As such, we will need to visit the young mutant in person,” he continues, “which means leaving headquarters. Which means clothes.”
“Do I have to wear clothes?” asks Raven. Raven never has to wear clothes.
Erik chews his lip.
“If she does not need to wear clothes, then I do not need to wear clothes,” Azazel declares.
Raven gives him a high-five. Erik glowers.
“If they get to be naked, I wanna be naked, too,” Angel says, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s not like I haven’t been spending a good amount of my life being naked anyway.”
“I’m getting used to it,” Emma adds.
The look on Janos’ face speaks for itself.
Erik sighs, and tries not to stab all of them with every piece of metal in the building.
“Fine. All right,” he surrenders, turning to leave. “Give me a minute to get dressed and we’ll leave shortly.”
“Y’know, it’s really hot today,” Angel says out of the blue. Erik stops in his tracks.
“I heard it might get up to a hundred degrees,” Emma contributes.
He turns and stares at all of them, trying to figure out what they’re playing at.
Raven, the face of innocence, tells him, “Just letting you know. It might get a bit uncomfortable, with your full body suit and everything. Those long pants. The stifling collar.”
“The boots,” Janos puts in.
Erik’s eye twitches.
+
When Charles Xavier and his team arrive at the location Cerebro gave them, they are not surprised to see Magneto and the Brotherhood as well.
However, they are more than a bit thunderstruck to see them completely in the nude.
“Hello, X-Men,” Erik says with a shocking amount of dignity for someone wearing only a red and purple helmet and a cape. “It’s lovely to see you again.”
“I don’t think we’ve met before... Brotherhood of Mutant Nudity,” Alex retorts slowly. His brain is still processing (and rejecting) what his eyes are seeing.
“Funny kid,” chuckles Azazel.
“Well,” says Charles, trying not to look uncomfortable. “I’m going to assume you’ve had much success spreading ‘mutant and proud,’ then, Raven?”
“Hi, Charles,” Raven greets brightly. “You have to call me Mystique now.”
“Yes, of course.” Charles does his very best to keep his gaze on her face. Not because her lack of clothing is distracting, but rather the lack of clothing of everyone around her.
“Alex?” Sean says in a worried tone, tugging on his sleeve.
“What?”
“I think I’m gay.” Sean sounds close to tears.
“Just--just look at all the tits.”
“I can’t. His hair is so pretty.”
Riptide winks, and Sean makes a noise akin to a dying puppy.
Hank hasn’t said a word. He looks a bit constipated, and he’s gripping the handles on Charles’ wheelchair much harder than necessary.
Whoosh. The sudden noise breaks them out of their trance of awkward silence and reminds them why they’re here in the first place; the newly discovered mutant.
Who has just been teleported outside by Azazel.
“You mean, if I join you guys, I’ll get to walk around naked, too?” the young man is asking.
“Sure!” Angel answers, beaming. He takes one look at her, and X-Men know it would be no use trying to convince him otherwise now.
“Until next time,” Magneto says as they link hands, every bit the classy naked gentleman.
“It was very nice meeting you all,” Emma smiles. (If you asked Alex to describe her face, he would not have been able to do it. However, he would have given you an astonishingly detailed report on her areolae.)
With a laugh, Azazel teleports them all away.
It takes a moment for the X-Men to realize they’ve been wearing the same expressions for the past ten minutes. No, it wasn’t even ten minutes. More like... five. Barely.
“That was... anticlimactic,” comments Hank, who had finally found his voice.
“It was certainly unexpected,” Charles replies. “It seems they’re learning to be... very cunning with their strategies.” He doesn’t have the heart to tell Alex, Hank, and Sean that the Brotherhood’s “brilliant plan” to outwit the X-Men hadn't even intended to be a brilliant plan to outwit the X-Men.
“And just a bit embarrassing,” Hank says. His face has turned a funny colour. “For us, I mean.”
Sean still looks like he’s going to cry.
Alex, though, seems to have brightened up.
“Hey, professor,” he starts, “can we--”
“No, Alex.”
+
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: PG? I guess? Mentions of male and female nudity, not super detailed.
Summary: Raven unintentionally turns the Brotherhood of Mutant Supremacy into a mutant nudist colony. No pairings, unless you squint and wear five pairs of slash/pairing goggles.
A/N: Mashup of this prompt on 1stclass_kink and this one on xmen_firstkink. Originally designed for the latter only, but I ended up--let's just say it's a really pathetic story of misremembering and forgetfulness and yes just a bit of plain stupidity
Azazel uses simple logic.
Raven is blue. Raven walks around naked.
Raven walks around naked because she is blue.
And Erik says nothing about it because... well, it can only mean that birthday suits that are not of a typical skin color are acceptable.
Red birthday suits should be fine, too, then, by that logic.
Azazel contemplates this with his reflection in the mirror. He’s only wearing a half-buttoned shirt (that he borrowed from Janos, but is never going to return because it’s the nicest shirt ever) and a pensive frown.
“Hmm,” he grumbles.
+
Angel and Janos are already eating breakfast when Azazel teleports into the kitchen.
Angel lets out a very surprised squeak. Janos chokes on his coffee and it comes out his nose.
“Azazel, where are your clothes?” he splutters.
Azazel grins fiendishly, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “I decide to follow Mystique’s example. Weird outward mutation is acceptable... substitute for clothing.”
“What?” exclaims Janos in disbelief. “How did you come to that conclusion?”
“I use my brain,” Azazel tells him. He comes around the table and steals a piece of Janos’ toast.
Angel cranes her neck to get a better view. “Do you work out? Like, for your butt?”
+
Erik takes one look at Azazel--and heads for the minibar.
It’s 11 a.m. and he’s too sober for this. Whatever this is.
+
Azazel is delighted when, later that week, Angel and Janos pick up on the nudity thing. Angel lets her wings out more often now, which must feel nice, and Janos... well, Janos really has no reason to walk around naked, but no one’s complaining.
Except Erik, who really doesn’t know what to think of this, and it’s making his brain hurt.
Raven is even more delighted than Azazel when she finds out that this is basically her fault.
+
Emma has been out for two weeks on some clandestine, telepath-only mission (but Azazel has a bet against Raven that Emma’s actually just going out to settle her gargantuan dry-cleaning bills), but when she returns, she doesn’t bat an eyelash.
In fact, when they’re all gathered around playing cards one night, and she gets to really take in the sight of everyone (sans Erik) in the nude, she promptly removes her little white dress (which was too teeny to be accepted as proper clothing by anyone).
“Saves a lot on dry cleaning,” she tells them. “It takes weeks to settle those bills.”
Raven grudgingly hands Azazel a twenty.
+
“I’ve found our first potential recruit,” says Erik.
It’s tough, being the person wearing a turtleneck in a room full of nudists. It’s worse when his helmet doesn’t match his civilian outfit, but he needs to keep it on to prevent Emma from sensing his intense discomfort (that he will never have a stomach like Azazel’s good God, how does he do it). Of course, it’s probably showing on his face, but Erik likes to think (hope) it’s not.
“As such, we will need to visit the young mutant in person,” he continues, “which means leaving headquarters. Which means clothes.”
“Do I have to wear clothes?” asks Raven. Raven never has to wear clothes.
Erik chews his lip.
“If she does not need to wear clothes, then I do not need to wear clothes,” Azazel declares.
Raven gives him a high-five. Erik glowers.
“If they get to be naked, I wanna be naked, too,” Angel says, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s not like I haven’t been spending a good amount of my life being naked anyway.”
“I’m getting used to it,” Emma adds.
The look on Janos’ face speaks for itself.
Erik sighs, and tries not to stab all of them with every piece of metal in the building.
“Fine. All right,” he surrenders, turning to leave. “Give me a minute to get dressed and we’ll leave shortly.”
“Y’know, it’s really hot today,” Angel says out of the blue. Erik stops in his tracks.
“I heard it might get up to a hundred degrees,” Emma contributes.
He turns and stares at all of them, trying to figure out what they’re playing at.
Raven, the face of innocence, tells him, “Just letting you know. It might get a bit uncomfortable, with your full body suit and everything. Those long pants. The stifling collar.”
“The boots,” Janos puts in.
Erik’s eye twitches.
+
When Charles Xavier and his team arrive at the location Cerebro gave them, they are not surprised to see Magneto and the Brotherhood as well.
However, they are more than a bit thunderstruck to see them completely in the nude.
“Hello, X-Men,” Erik says with a shocking amount of dignity for someone wearing only a red and purple helmet and a cape. “It’s lovely to see you again.”
“I don’t think we’ve met before... Brotherhood of Mutant Nudity,” Alex retorts slowly. His brain is still processing (and rejecting) what his eyes are seeing.
“Funny kid,” chuckles Azazel.
“Well,” says Charles, trying not to look uncomfortable. “I’m going to assume you’ve had much success spreading ‘mutant and proud,’ then, Raven?”
“Hi, Charles,” Raven greets brightly. “You have to call me Mystique now.”
“Yes, of course.” Charles does his very best to keep his gaze on her face. Not because her lack of clothing is distracting, but rather the lack of clothing of everyone around her.
“Alex?” Sean says in a worried tone, tugging on his sleeve.
“What?”
“I think I’m gay.” Sean sounds close to tears.
“Just--just look at all the tits.”
“I can’t. His hair is so pretty.”
Riptide winks, and Sean makes a noise akin to a dying puppy.
Hank hasn’t said a word. He looks a bit constipated, and he’s gripping the handles on Charles’ wheelchair much harder than necessary.
Whoosh. The sudden noise breaks them out of their trance of awkward silence and reminds them why they’re here in the first place; the newly discovered mutant.
Who has just been teleported outside by Azazel.
“You mean, if I join you guys, I’ll get to walk around naked, too?” the young man is asking.
“Sure!” Angel answers, beaming. He takes one look at her, and X-Men know it would be no use trying to convince him otherwise now.
“Until next time,” Magneto says as they link hands, every bit the classy naked gentleman.
“It was very nice meeting you all,” Emma smiles. (If you asked Alex to describe her face, he would not have been able to do it. However, he would have given you an astonishingly detailed report on her areolae.)
With a laugh, Azazel teleports them all away.
It takes a moment for the X-Men to realize they’ve been wearing the same expressions for the past ten minutes. No, it wasn’t even ten minutes. More like... five. Barely.
“That was... anticlimactic,” comments Hank, who had finally found his voice.
“It was certainly unexpected,” Charles replies. “It seems they’re learning to be... very cunning with their strategies.” He doesn’t have the heart to tell Alex, Hank, and Sean that the Brotherhood’s “brilliant plan” to outwit the X-Men hadn't even intended to be a brilliant plan to outwit the X-Men.
“And just a bit embarrassing,” Hank says. His face has turned a funny colour. “For us, I mean.”
Sean still looks like he’s going to cry.
Alex, though, seems to have brightened up.
“Hey, professor,” he starts, “can we--”
“No, Alex.”
+