I notice something kind of funny:when I am feeling quite melancholic, the motions I make with my hands and fingers (such as typing) are quite delicate. It's weird to say, I know, but its just an observation
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welcome to being a teenager :) that was actually really deep and i did happen to take the time to read all of it and im glad i read THIS entry because it seems to be a very important one hehe
i feel the same way as you that suicide is stupid and bad and pointless and i dont want it blah blah blah. i am very glad ur not hurting urself becauseit really is pointless. didnt get me anywhere really. when i do think of hurting myself i try to figure out why exactly i would want to and i find it very hard to find a reason. i dont know about the physical pain taking away mental pain. i fidn the whole thing to probably be more significant emotionally and mentally rather than physically. a cut just kinda bleeds, maybe hurts a little, but overal the physical pain probably is outweighed by the emotional meltdown thats probably going on inside, and blood escaping is kind of just a small symbol as part of a bigger picture. if im making any sense lol. i think i lost myself anyway. but little things hurt a lot. when i am most depressed its usually cuz EVERYTHING every little tiny thing builds up and cmobines and i just lose it. thats why it was hard for me to try and get out of my depression, it was everything giong wrong and i just felt totally buried. anyway i know you want to see ricky. all i can say is good luck, thats really hard i know. hey look, i STILL havent seen against me, and i was waiting in line outside the building and i still didnt get too see them. but sometimes shit happens you know, and its gonna be really hard if you cant see ricky, but all you can do is hope for the best. about the whole family situation, i dont know too much about it but i relaly hpoe it gets better.
and on saturday i want to see you at 30 orange avenue, larkspur, california at around six or sevenish. :) were playing third out of three bands i think.were playing last anyway. come check it out. and by the way I LOVE YOU ALLY AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING SAD CALL MY ASS UP IM HERE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY OR SAD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IM HERE FOR YOU.
that was actually really deep and i did happen to take the time to read all of it and im glad i read THIS entry because it seems to be a very important one hehe
i feel the same way as you that suicide is stupid and bad and pointless and i dont want it blah blah blah. i am very glad ur not hurting urself becauseit really is pointless. didnt get me anywhere really. when i do think of hurting myself i try to figure out why exactly i would want to and i find it very hard to find a reason. i dont know about the physical pain taking away mental pain. i fidn the whole thing to probably be more significant emotionally and mentally rather than physically. a cut just kinda bleeds, maybe hurts a little, but overal the physical pain probably is outweighed by the emotional meltdown thats probably going on inside, and blood escaping is kind of just a small symbol as part of a bigger picture. if im making any sense lol. i think i lost myself anyway. but little things hurt a lot. when i am most depressed its usually cuz EVERYTHING every little tiny thing builds up and cmobines and i just lose it. thats why it was hard for me to try and get out of my depression, it was everything giong wrong and i just felt totally buried. anyway i know you want to see ricky. all i can say is good luck, thats really hard i know. hey look, i STILL havent seen against me, and i was waiting in line outside the building and i still didnt get too see them. but sometimes shit happens you know, and its gonna be really hard if you cant see ricky, but all you can do is hope for the best. about the whole family situation, i dont know too much about it but i relaly hpoe it gets better.
and on saturday i want to see you at 30 orange avenue, larkspur, california at around six or sevenish. :) were playing third out of three bands i think.were playing last anyway. come check it out.
and by the way
I LOVE YOU ALLY AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING SAD CALL MY ASS UP IM HERE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY OR SAD OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IM HERE FOR YOU.
peace
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