Finally! A piece of OZ FIC! "Family Reunion" 11/?
My study leave is going well and is productive. My thesis is taking shape. I also have received the wonderful news that both my abstracts were accepted for the conference in Canada! I'll be going to Vancouver in October! Am very excited! And my anaemia is responding to treatment!
I have also rediscovered Star Trek and am totally smitten with everyone and especially the Enterprise. My life goal now is to possess the movie (No. 11) and the original series on dvd. OMG, the warp drives, the star scapes, the really evil enemy ship... It was just perfect. I <3 Geeky vulnerable!Spock.
The point of this entry is OZ. After far too long, I am pleased to announce that the next piece of my "Family Reunion" story is ready. I should probably reread it tomorrow before posting it. In fact, I know I should, but another few months might elapse before I get around to posting it if I do, so I don't dare.
Now, on with the story!
Summary
You may vaguely recall that after Elliot and Chris found out the truth about their father, Elliot disappeared. Cragen called to find out where Elliot was, because he was concerend after Elliot tendered his resignation. Toby came home unexpectedly and suggested that he and Chris go looking for Elliot. They finally found him in the park and Chris and Elliot fought. Toby took a picture of it.
Disclaimers
Oz is not mine and never will be. Its characters are not mine either. I love Keller and Beecher, but that don't make them mine. Nonetheless, I am writing about them (not for profit). The usual warnings apply. Oh, and about any cultral slurs against any European people, I'm largely "continental" myself and so feel I am speaking as an insider here... I know drama. Trust me. I live it.
XI.
Angry Stabler and wrong-footed Keller turning on him at once was a bit more than Toby was prepared for.
“I’ll mail you the photo,” he said as steadily as he could, realizing he was either going to get pulverized by both or them or his snarking would defuse the situation.
Fortunately it seemed to achieve the latter. Chris released Elliot’s collar.
“Fuck …” he began, but the steam went out of him. He rubbed his hands over his face and muttered into them.
“Didn’t catch that,” said Toby, pocketing his cell phone. Honestly he was debating the wisdom of ever sending the photo to either of them. He should just delete it, he knew, but some little internal devil whispered to him to keep it.
“I said “Fuck me”,” said Chris wearily. “Fuck it all. I wanna go home.”
He pushed past Elliot and walked off to his car. Elliot stood stock still, the spitting image of Chris, but a hundred times more tortured than Toby had ever seen Keller, watching Chris walk away with bruised eyes until Toby couldn’t bear it any longer.
“Why don’t you go after him?” he urged.
But of course Elliot didn’t.
“Jesus Christ,” Toby muttered to himself. To Elliot he said, “Wait here.”
He scrambled after Chris, who had slowed down infinitesimally.
“Hey,” he called.
“You ready to go home?” asked Chris.
His face was an immobile frown. Toby grabbed his arm to slow him down, but Chris shook him off. Toby trotted behind him, feeling like his bitch. He hated it.
“Chris, brothers fight sometimes and it’s okay. It’s normal. I used to fight with Gussie all the time when we were growing up and I’m ten years older than him. Hey, listen to me! You don’t know what it means to be a brother… No, scrap that, you’re learning… Fuck! Stand still!”
There was no way on God’s earth that Tobias Beecher was going to let Chris Keller know that he made him feel like a bitch. Because if he did, right now, things were bound to get really ugly really fast. Chris would have something smart and lethal to say about it and then Toby would lose it. And Elliot would probably arrest them both, although now it would have to be a citizen’s arrest… these thoughts were flitting through Toby’s mind as Chris slowed down and stopped. He turned and looked at Toby.
“Elliot hates me, Toby,” he said, smiling a mirthless smile. “He doesn’t even know everything yet and already he wants nothing to do with me.”
Toby’s mind was spinning from the drama. If Chris was half Russian, what was the other half of his gene pool?
“Elliot doesn’t hate you, Chris. He just needs some space to think things through.”
“Without me,” said Chris.
Toby gritted his teeth.
“You can’t walk away from Elliot, he’s your brother. He’s having a hard time. Just cut him some slack.”
“He walked away from me first,” said Chris defiantly.
“No, he didn’t,” said Toby. “He just needed to sort some things out and work out what to do now that he’s resigned. You know what serving on the force means to him. Everything and now it’s gone.”
“He shoulda thought of that before he handed in his resignation,” retorted Chris, but he allowed himself to be led back to the statue-like form of his brother.
Chris and Elliot looked at each other, Chris with his arms folded aggressively, Elliot with his dangling. Toby wondered how long they could keep it up. Elliot spoke.
“Chris, I’m sorry. I should have told you where I was going, but I’ve been so messed up since meeting … him, I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“You resigned from the force,” Chris informed him.
“I know,” said Elliot. “I had to after what we discovered.”
“Cragen called. Told me he wouldn’t accept it,” said Chris.
Elliot sighed, raised his eyebrows.
“He’ll have to,” he said. “It’s for the best.”
“Cause you really thought it through while you were so messed up you didn’t know what you were doing?” inquired Chris.
Elliot smiled faintly.
“You want to know the real reason I didn’t tell you where I was?” he asked. “I really wanted to talk to you and tell you what was going on, but I knew you’d try to stop me. Look out for my best interests.”
He clapped Chris on the shoulder. Toby watched Chris unfold his arms, grin and presto! They were back in twins-mode again, mirroring each other’s gestures and facial expressions. He backed off, went to sit on the near-by bench. He could still hear their conversation.
“Where did he come from?” enquired Elliot straightening his jacket. “I thought he wasn’t due back for days.”
“He came back early,” said Chris.
“When Chris told me the news I thought I’d better head on home,” said Beecher from his bench. “He sounded as if he needed company. He’s had a rough year.”
Elliot looked at Toby on the bench and then turned Chris away from him so Toby couldn’t hear.
“You okay, Chris?” he said. Of course to Chris it meant, “Are we okay?”.
“Yeah,” said Chris.
"Chris, I gotta tell you something. I love you. You know that, right?” Elliot put his hands on Chris’ shoulders and peered into his eyes.
Chris blinked uncomfortably.
“Fuck, Elliot,” he said. “Yeah, I know.”
When Elliot looked at him like that he almost did know and it made him feel vulnerable. He didn’t like it. He pulled away.
“All my life I’ve been on one side of the law and people like that have been on the other,” continued Elliot. “Everything I believe in is represented by that badge I handed in this morning. Everything I value. I can’t stand behind it anymore.”
“People like that are my people,” said Chris. “They took me in when I had no one else. Now I know why. They helped make me who I am. I am one of them. If you hate them, you hate me too.”
“You’re not one of them, Chris,” said Elliot stubbornly.
“You don’t know me, bro,” said Chris, smiling sharp teeth. “I’ve been one of them for years. In fact, you’re one of them too. We were born in their blood. And I’ve spilled some of it myself.”
Elliot didn’t take the bait.
“We may have been born into that … family, but we don’t have to stay in it,” he insisted.
“Yeah, we do. I went back to it at the first opportunity,” said Chris. “You found them eventually after every precaution to prevent you. We can’t help ourselves. We’re doomed to go back. It’s in our blood.”
“If you’re thinking of going back,” piped up Beecher from his bench, “why don’t you finish what you started? Find out who your mother is and why you were put up for adoption. Of course, if you’re thinking of going back home, that would be great too. I’m freezing my ass off here and could really do with some lunch. I missed breakfast flying in.”