Sunday Scribblings Post- Prompt "Costume"
Costume
I was raised on a farm. There was no room for the idea of “men's work” and “women's work.” If a tractor needed fixed, I was right in there holding tools and fitting my hands into spaces too small for my dad's to go. Cleaning the house, cooking, changing oil, remodeling the house, picking up the yard, all of the things that had to be done around the house had my hands in them. I've known how to clean a fish since I was nine, how to start a motorcycle since I was seven, and how to tell which one was the 5/8 wrench since I was five.
When I was little, my mother caught frogs and snakes and turtles for me because I was curious about them. I learned how to feed horses and how to take care of ducks and dogs and cats. I learned how to build things and make things and how to take the things apart that needed to be taken down and how to save the pieces of them that could be reused and made into something new. I learned that my worth as a person should be based on the things that I could do, not on how I looked.
And now, I find myself the person that I am. I am a woman and that has never bothered me. There was never a day where I thought to myself that I wanted to be a man. At the same time, I frequently find myself a “guy” by default. The voices that I heard telling me how “girls” were supposed to be were distant sources of noise, because they were voices saying that “girls” did not like science and shouldn't like to read or write, unless it was letters to family and boyfriends. I was supposed to be pretty and to devote all of my time to finding a husband and having children.
I did not learn how to put on make-up, except for the occasional play I acted in, which doesn't really count as true make-up, I know. Doing my hair every day involves combing it out and pulling it back, so it stays out of my face and out of my way. My wardrobe consists of jeans, t-shirts, button down work shirts, and cargo pants. Every pair of shoes I own is functional-and flat. I do not wear clothes with flowers on them, unless they're chrysanthemums intertwined with dragons. The idea of girliness is foreign to me because I do not understand why being female should exclude me from enjoying the things that I enjoy.
Why do breasts mean I can't like action and science fiction movies? Why does that mean I can't like motorcycles and comic books and playing pool? Or, for that matter, why does it mean that I should be ashamed about liking those things?
Because I don't see the point of those restrictions, I ignore them. I am a woman, therefore, by very definition, I am feminine. I don't wear dresses, because I don't like them. I don't wear make-up or drown my hair in chemicals because I have better things to do with my time and money. I have other channels for my resources. For the women who enjoy those trappings of womanhood, more power to them. If it makes them feel good they're welcome to it. As for me, when I try to put on a dress and make-up and all of the hairspray it just feels like a costume. I don't need it to feel like a woman and I certainly don't need it to be a woman.
I was raised on a farm. There was no room for the idea of “men's work” and “women's work.” If a tractor needed fixed, I was right in there holding tools and fitting my hands into spaces too small for my dad's to go. Cleaning the house, cooking, changing oil, remodeling the house, picking up the yard, all of the things that had to be done around the house had my hands in them. I've known how to clean a fish since I was nine, how to start a motorcycle since I was seven, and how to tell which one was the 5/8 wrench since I was five.
When I was little, my mother caught frogs and snakes and turtles for me because I was curious about them. I learned how to feed horses and how to take care of ducks and dogs and cats. I learned how to build things and make things and how to take the things apart that needed to be taken down and how to save the pieces of them that could be reused and made into something new. I learned that my worth as a person should be based on the things that I could do, not on how I looked.
And now, I find myself the person that I am. I am a woman and that has never bothered me. There was never a day where I thought to myself that I wanted to be a man. At the same time, I frequently find myself a “guy” by default. The voices that I heard telling me how “girls” were supposed to be were distant sources of noise, because they were voices saying that “girls” did not like science and shouldn't like to read or write, unless it was letters to family and boyfriends. I was supposed to be pretty and to devote all of my time to finding a husband and having children.
I did not learn how to put on make-up, except for the occasional play I acted in, which doesn't really count as true make-up, I know. Doing my hair every day involves combing it out and pulling it back, so it stays out of my face and out of my way. My wardrobe consists of jeans, t-shirts, button down work shirts, and cargo pants. Every pair of shoes I own is functional-and flat. I do not wear clothes with flowers on them, unless they're chrysanthemums intertwined with dragons. The idea of girliness is foreign to me because I do not understand why being female should exclude me from enjoying the things that I enjoy.
Why do breasts mean I can't like action and science fiction movies? Why does that mean I can't like motorcycles and comic books and playing pool? Or, for that matter, why does it mean that I should be ashamed about liking those things?
Because I don't see the point of those restrictions, I ignore them. I am a woman, therefore, by very definition, I am feminine. I don't wear dresses, because I don't like them. I don't wear make-up or drown my hair in chemicals because I have better things to do with my time and money. I have other channels for my resources. For the women who enjoy those trappings of womanhood, more power to them. If it makes them feel good they're welcome to it. As for me, when I try to put on a dress and make-up and all of the hairspray it just feels like a costume. I don't need it to feel like a woman and I certainly don't need it to be a woman.