It felt like going uphill both ways on black ice with old tires
I'm finally doing better. AFter six long months, the health crisis is finally over. It required some pretty drastic surgery and while I'm mostly healed from that, I still have some healing to do. It feels amazing to know that I'm finally recovering and that I don't have to live in fear of my own body anymore. My life had ground to a screeching halt. I didn't have the energy to do anything because I was so exhausted and in so much pain all the time. I wasn't able to concentrate or focus. Work was a struggle. Writing was impossible. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything. That's finally remedied. It was very, very difficult to give in and say "I can't take care of myself anymore. I need help. I can't keep doing this."
I value my independence. I like to do things. I like to make things. I like to create. I'm proud of having and keeping a job and taking care of myself because I know several people who absolutely, emphatically refuse to. I also have a very high pain tolerance, that was confirmed by the medical professionals who helped me through this ordeal. I was very fortunate to have a doctor who really listened to me and was really dedicated to getting me healthy again. I don't like doctors. I don't trust them because I had some very lousy experiences with them that have left lingering scars-including an ankle that healed wrong because the doctor chewed out my mom and told her it was time to take away my crutches because I was being a big baby when I told her that my ankle still hurt badly enough after five weeks that I couldn't put any pressure on it. Thankfully, the doctor who treated me this time around recognized that I wasn't just whining or trying to get attention I was really having a very difficult time with a difficult medical condition. I was also told by a nurse that I was the first patient she'd ever had that she had to ask if I was sure that I didn't want another painkiller.
I'm finally started to get my life back I even started rather gleefully doing some internet shopping. I was disappointed to discover, however, that I'm probably not going to get the three movies with Jeffrey Dean Morgan in them that I don't already have. They're only available on VHS and they're out of print. I'm very, very leery of buying used VHS tapes-it really seems like it's just asking for trouble and my VCR needs to stay in very good shape for a long time, thanks. It's a shame, because they look cheese-tacular and I'm pretty sure that my inner Cheese Monster would be ecstatic to see them. However, unless a (highly unlikely, I'm afraid) re-release on DVD happens, I'm sadly resigned to the fact that I'm probably never going to get "Uncaged," "Undercover," or "In the Blink of an Eye." I'll just have to feed the Cheese Monster something else.
I value my independence. I like to do things. I like to make things. I like to create. I'm proud of having and keeping a job and taking care of myself because I know several people who absolutely, emphatically refuse to. I also have a very high pain tolerance, that was confirmed by the medical professionals who helped me through this ordeal. I was very fortunate to have a doctor who really listened to me and was really dedicated to getting me healthy again. I don't like doctors. I don't trust them because I had some very lousy experiences with them that have left lingering scars-including an ankle that healed wrong because the doctor chewed out my mom and told her it was time to take away my crutches because I was being a big baby when I told her that my ankle still hurt badly enough after five weeks that I couldn't put any pressure on it. Thankfully, the doctor who treated me this time around recognized that I wasn't just whining or trying to get attention I was really having a very difficult time with a difficult medical condition. I was also told by a nurse that I was the first patient she'd ever had that she had to ask if I was sure that I didn't want another painkiller.
I'm finally started to get my life back I even started rather gleefully doing some internet shopping. I was disappointed to discover, however, that I'm probably not going to get the three movies with Jeffrey Dean Morgan in them that I don't already have. They're only available on VHS and they're out of print. I'm very, very leery of buying used VHS tapes-it really seems like it's just asking for trouble and my VCR needs to stay in very good shape for a long time, thanks. It's a shame, because they look cheese-tacular and I'm pretty sure that my inner Cheese Monster would be ecstatic to see them. However, unless a (highly unlikely, I'm afraid) re-release on DVD happens, I'm sadly resigned to the fact that I'm probably never going to get "Uncaged," "Undercover," or "In the Blink of an Eye." I'll just have to feed the Cheese Monster something else.