The Week's thoughts in Florida
On the plane, headed back to California. This trip was far too short. I need him back in my life for good. I love him terribly unhealthily; whenever I am with him I am more actively paranoid about infidelities I have no particular grounds to suspect him for (only partially true), and he does a terrible job of reassuring me.
He gave me the best orgasm of my life last night.
The relationship is a terribly hard, dysfunctional thing. I cannot do without it.
I may love him until I am placed dead in the sea.
I may love him after that.
***
The ocean helps me realize how fleeting it all is. How it doesn’t matter if he stays or if he goes, if he marries me or not, if he loves me or not. It doesn’t matter. Whether he does or does not, loves or loves not, I am still alive and I will always move forward and I will always be happy.
All that is worth striving for is harmony with the rest of it all.
He gave me the best orgasm of my life last night.
The relationship is a terribly hard, dysfunctional thing. I cannot do without it.
I may love him until I am placed dead in the sea.
I may love him after that.
***
The ocean helps me realize how fleeting it all is. How it doesn’t matter if he stays or if he goes, if he marries me or not, if he loves me or not. It doesn’t matter. Whether he does or does not, loves or loves not, I am still alive and I will always move forward and I will always be happy.
All that is worth striving for is harmony with the rest of it all.