(no subject)
So it finally happened to me, a lifelong atheist. Yes I found him, I found Jesus.
We have had quite the adventure since finding him on Christmas... we have shared laughs, great moments & most importantly, his redeeming love.
He actually took time from his day job of blessing children to come spend the holidays with me.
He said he was staying a few days & brought a small overnight bag with him. I could tell that Jesus thought America was the greatest country in the world...
It turns out he was hungry from his trip, so we ate a bit...
Some of Jesus's favorite foods as it turns out are veal cutlets, foie gras & chicken nuggets from Chic-fil-A. I had to protest on grounds of being a vegeterian, but Jesus's quick reply was "Animals don't have souls!"
After a nice dinner. Jesus trys to show the love & hope that is in the bible... OK, so there is is some interesting parables that are great teachings in the bible. I say to Jesus, "But the bible is filled with archaic & hard to imagine laws... What about Exodus 21:7-11 where you can sell your daughter into slavery... or god commanding Abraham to murder his son Isaac to test his loyalty?" I tell him of Julia Sweeny & perhaps he will listen to her with me one day...
I convince Jesus that he should read one of my books...
Perhaps Sam Harris or Richard Dawkins will be on his reading list next...
We could agree on one thing though... all other religions (except christianity of course) were silly & we could have a great time making fun of them...
Buddhism, Ha!
Jesus was through talking about theology, he did it all the time & could easily get bored with it. He asked if I had a paper. I did. Jesus loves keeping up with his investments...
His two main investments were stocks in Chic-fil-A & Lifeway Christian Bookstores. He said that he had contemplated in getting into the housing market a fews ago, but decided against it since he knew the rapture would be hell on the housing market. "Well not quite the rapture, but the housing market is hell right now" I replied.
Strangely enough, the topic went to sex. I think it led there when I made a joke about him being hung (on the cross that is!). So we started looking at porn together.
Jesus was intrigued with the magazine for the simple fact that he had never seen foreskin on any man over the age of 2 months...
To show that he was only intrigues & not turned on by uncircumcised penises, Jesus went to great lengths to show that he is not gay:
Well we had quite the day, so I suggested to Jesus that we go to bed. He agreed, but we had to have to pray before going to bed...
And off to bed we went...
T H E E N D
Thank you to Michael Maloney for getting me this very strangely ironic pink fuzzy Jesus (Michael also gave me "Then End of Faith" by Sam Harris). I knew I had to do something with the figure when I saw it, but didn't have clue what. I just started taking strange pictures with Jesus over the last week & then the idea of putting into narrative popped into my head.
So these are not all the Jesus photos either... I could not figure out ow to use all of them into this strange narrative. There are some cool shots on my Flickr page here. Including one called "Bong Hits for Jesus" & this one "With the Fishes"
