Man, I feel like a woman.
If the gradual return of my vigour for making self derogatory gay jokes didn't convince you...
If the fact that I once more am posting blog entries on livejournal which is blatantly myspace for serious women rather than horny teenagers didn't...
If the fact that when you kick me in the balls because I slept with your brother I seem to have to act out an expression of pain didn't seal the deal...
And this is all ignoring the fact that my drivers licence is pink...
Then surely todays exploits prove that I am a woman or worse, a girl.
I awoke from my slumber and read some crap and put some loud music on and acted like a normal geeky student might, but then it all went wrong.
I spent my entire day shopping with my mom on the internet. I only wanted her credit card, but some gay urge (maybe guilt/ pity as im a little harsh to her and im her only friend) forced me to invite her to not iron my clothes for me while i sit scrolling through t'internet, but to join me and aid my shopping.
I spent the next 5 hours with my mom saying such phrases as "ooh that would look nice with my brown tshirt" and "hmm how about the pink one? ive never worn pink, but thats quite nice really isnt it" (disclaimer- i didnt buy the pink one!)
I then proceeded to watch coronation street again with my lovely mother (who i have no name for. she was mommy until i felt too embarassed calling her that, and mom never caught on)
And now im doing a quiz on tickle.
So all in all the girliest day of my life (excluding saturdays).
Before i know it ill be watching big brother and worshipping gary lightbody and seth cohen
Someone pass me a pint to drink whilst i fart and talk about how jessica alba is fit
Oh but theres the final proof. Im the only bloke in the world who doesnt think shes fit. In fact i reserve the word fit for negative resposes about cliched sluts.
Does anybody else think the shania twain song sounds more like a cry of lesbian sexual frustration than a joyful statement of femininity?
I feel like a woman too!
If the fact that I once more am posting blog entries on livejournal which is blatantly myspace for serious women rather than horny teenagers didn't...
If the fact that when you kick me in the balls because I slept with your brother I seem to have to act out an expression of pain didn't seal the deal...
And this is all ignoring the fact that my drivers licence is pink...
Then surely todays exploits prove that I am a woman or worse, a girl.
I awoke from my slumber and read some crap and put some loud music on and acted like a normal geeky student might, but then it all went wrong.
I spent my entire day shopping with my mom on the internet. I only wanted her credit card, but some gay urge (maybe guilt/ pity as im a little harsh to her and im her only friend) forced me to invite her to not iron my clothes for me while i sit scrolling through t'internet, but to join me and aid my shopping.
I spent the next 5 hours with my mom saying such phrases as "ooh that would look nice with my brown tshirt" and "hmm how about the pink one? ive never worn pink, but thats quite nice really isnt it" (disclaimer- i didnt buy the pink one!)
I then proceeded to watch coronation street again with my lovely mother (who i have no name for. she was mommy until i felt too embarassed calling her that, and mom never caught on)
And now im doing a quiz on tickle.
So all in all the girliest day of my life (excluding saturdays).
Before i know it ill be watching big brother and worshipping gary lightbody and seth cohen
Someone pass me a pint to drink whilst i fart and talk about how jessica alba is fit
Oh but theres the final proof. Im the only bloke in the world who doesnt think shes fit. In fact i reserve the word fit for negative resposes about cliched sluts.
Does anybody else think the shania twain song sounds more like a cry of lesbian sexual frustration than a joyful statement of femininity?
I feel like a woman too!