Pros snippets

May 09, 2007 19:25

Title: Fluff Snippet 1
Fandom: The Professionals
Author:
rospberry 
Characters/Pairing: Bodie, Doyle
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Completely silly snippet of story written in ten minutes.
Summary: Bodie and his girlfriend's cat.

Bodie grimaced as he looked down at his expensive new suit. "Bloody cat hairs. Why the do I always have to find the ones with a cat?"

"Eh?" Doyle looked up from his paper.

"Cat hairs," Bodie repeated forcefully, proffering a sleeve of his jacket for Doyle to look at. "They're everywhere. I only got this suit yesterday and now look at it!"

In truth, Doyle couldn't even see a bit of lint on Bodie's jacket but wisely chose not to share that observation, instead he asked, "You got yourself a cat?"

"No!" Bodie snapped. "I haven't got a cat, she's got a cat."

"Oh right, the new bird." Doyle paused and then chuckled to himself. "Bird with a cat. Now that's fun-" He abruptly stopped talking when he
saw the thunderous look on Bodie's face. "Yeah...erm…right…cat hairs are bad. So why don't you get rid of her?"

"The cat?" Bodie looked horrified.

"No. The bird."

Bodie looked even more horrified. "No way. Have you met her? She's worth putting up with a hundred cats for."

Doyle rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to the paper.

A moment of silence, and then Bodie asked, "You got a clothes brush, mate?"

Doyle groaned.

Title: Fluff Snippet 2
Fandom: The Professionals
Author:
rospberry 
Characters/Pairing: Bodie, Doyle
Rating: PG for mild swearing
Author's Notes: Completely silly snippet written in twenty minutes, sequel to the previously completely silly snippet written in ten.
Summary: Bodie and his ongoing battle with his girlfriend's cat.

"What on earth happened to you? You look like you slept in your car," Doyle asked, eyeing Bodie's rumpled suit jacket. He also noticed Bodie was wearing trousers that didn't look quite - no it couldn't be - Doyle blinked. "Are you wearing woman's trousers?"

Bodie sat on the seat across from Doyle, and with a tightly clipped voice he responded, "Yes Raymond, these are indeed ladies trousers, your deductive powers are astonishing."

"Whoah, mate, no need to give me grief just cause you got out of the wrong side of bed," Doyle said, and then added with a grin," ...and slipped into your bird's trousers."

Bodie scowled. "Give it a rest why don't you."

"C'mon, Bodie, look at the state of you. What would you be saying if I came in looking like that? Why don't you tell Uncle Ray what happened?"

"Fine," Bodie sighed. "You remember the bird I'm seeing?"

"The bird with the cat?" Doyle's lips twitched.

"Yeah, yeah, very amusing. Well apparently there's this thing with cats about territory or something. So this cat of hers has got it into its head that I'm a threat."

"And?" Doyle asked impatiently.

"Well they mark their territory don't they…and especially bits where other male cats have…you know…er…had their wicked way." A light blush appeared on Bodie's cheeks as he spoke.

"So?" Doyle still didn't get it.

"He thinks I'm messing with his woman," Bodie snapped. "So the little bugger peed on the bed. I had to sleep on the couch."

Doyle spluttered with laughter, ignoring his partner's dark expression, and with some difficulty asked, "And the trousers?"

"He did the same thing with them. And shredded them just in case I didn't get the message," Bodie said. "He legged it before I could get a hold of him. Just as well cause if I'd caught the little-"

"So did you get the message?" Doyle interrupted.

"Bloody right I did. I'm off to ask out that new secretary from downstairs. Apparently she's only got a hamster."

**

The following morning Bodie came into work and threw his suit jacket violently into the bin.

Doyle opened his mouth to ask what he was up to, and then he saw the edge of a sleeve hanging over the lip, completely frayed with threads hanging off. It looked like it had been eaten by a mouse. Or a hamster.

Doyle wisely buried his head behind his paper and didn't comment.

fic:the professionals

Previous post Next post
Up