(no subject)

[rosmiles]

Just when I think my confidence is getting better, the people who I love the most find ways to shatter it. But I won't let it happen this time. I hate the feeling that I am not worth it. I don't know what "it" is, but I don't have a better way to phrase that. Worth spending time with, worth knowing about, worth getting to know. Worth caring about enough to give back. I only have so much to give. I think some people are so caught up in their own thing, they don't always notice those around them, or how their actions affect others. I'm included in that group, as well as in those so caught up in the things of this world that sometimes they forget what is really important. Does it matter if we have the latest car or the newest stereo system? Does it matter if we have the most advanced computer or a high tech phone that takes pictures, serves dinner, and dances a jig, all with voice command? Do we need everything with all the bells and whistles, or is it all just more hassle than it's worth? Shouldn't family be more important? Friends? Above all, God? Shouldn't we concentrate more on our relationships in the real world than getting caught up in the latest drama of our favorite TV show or how our favorite sports team is doing in the "big game?" Does it really matter in the long run?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everyone should give everything up and live like paupers, I just think that we need to get our priorities straight. I have been the victim too often of someone placing comfort or "quality of life" ahead of my feelings, and I'm sure I've vicitimized others in the same way. It hurts, a lot, and I've shed a lot of tears over it. That's all I have to say for now.