Warning: this is a long one!
Right now, I'm a mess.
All I want to do is cry. I'm sad, upset, frustrated, alone, and maybe even depressed. Anyways...
High school isn't what it's all cracked up to be so far. I have so much homework from my Honors classes. I have to wake up at 5 AM everyday, and ride the bus for an hour to get to school. Everyone is asking how I like it, and I say it's fine. But it's a lie. So far, I hate it. I know I should give it some time, my parents did ALOT to get me into that school. And I'm very greatful. But for now, we'll just see how this turns out.
And I still haven't made any friends. And I'm probably not going to try. To be honest, I'm just sick of people. I don't want to be around them. And there might be something wrong with me for saying that, but it's true. I just don't feel like I belong... ever. I'm happy being alone. I don't like hanging around with the PJP crowd at TCHS. They all annoy me, with the exception of Adam/Nicole/Emma. But they still all bother me. Horrible, I know. And it's ME. Meghan already has a nice little group of friends, so she could ditch me if she wanted. So yeah, everyone else is doing just lovely.
And don't even get me started with the guys, all of the cute guys are DATING. None of them are single. And even if they were, I wouldn't stand a chance. All the girls there are super gorgeous. And can wear makeup, unlike me. Plus, all the kids know each other, so basically they all stick together. It's really hard to get to know the guys. And I really don't want to be with a person I hardly know. And I'm pretty limited. Ryan hates me, Thomas never gives me the freakin time of day, Adam is... well, Adam, and Weyman is just gross. And if you haven't heard, Bryan Pacheceo (name spelled wrong?) won't leave me alone. He bothers a bunch of girls and I've become one of them. He sits behind me in Algebra and basically harasses me for 45 minutes. Doing wierd stuff. And I've heard these people say "flirting", but I don't want to think of it like that. Besides, he has a girlfriend. BUT OF COURSE, THEY ALL DO!
And I've gotten pretty mean, like I randomly won't talk to someone. Just because. What can I say? I'm just rude (Poor excuse, I know). This is why I hardly have friends. I'm an anti-social introvert!
And to top it all off, I realized I'm not special. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this for pity, but it's just true. I'm not normal (obviously) but I'm unique either. I don't stand out. I have no talents, interests, or goals. I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't know what to do/where to go to college. I just don't know. I'm not motivated. I really have nothing to look forward in life. At all.
And I'll have to end it here for now, before this becomes a dramatic novel. If you managed to read all of this, thanks... Seriously though, it means alot when people read whatever crap I have to say. And try to comment. Please and thank you.
•P.S. Did I mention I'm probably doing drama? I'm not saying I like it, (I'm horrible at it) but I might do backstage stuff if possible.
•P.P.S. My birthday is coming up, any ideas on what to do?