Sad
I am very unhappy right now. Everything was going very well until my mother and father had a meltdown. I don't know why but they do not like Nick anymore. The few reasons are dumb, but I do understand where they are coming from. So now instead of him coming out here, I go to Martinez. Thats fine, its ok I do not mind, its just now my mom hates me. Ok, maybe not hate, but she doesnt like me anymore. I can't do anything to make her happy. Nothing.
I do as she asks shes still unhappy, I talk with her and still... nothing. Whenever I make plans with her she gives me a guilt trip. "You don't have to... Don't pitty me... I know you would rather be with someone else." She doesn't love me anymore. She wants me to break up with Nick. But I love him. I really do. I keep telling myself that she will come around but she wont, maybe... oh hell I dont know.
And for the 30 seconds that I entertain the idea of breaking up with him for her I start to cry. I know it will hurt me and I dont want that to happen. I dont want to leave him. why doesnt she like me anymore. I fucking told her I was going to take her to the movies tomorrow and she doesnt even want to go with me. I swear she does hate me. She said if I decide to be with Nick that shes moving away and doesnt want to see me again. I can actually feel my heart breaking.
I do as she asks shes still unhappy, I talk with her and still... nothing. Whenever I make plans with her she gives me a guilt trip. "You don't have to... Don't pitty me... I know you would rather be with someone else." She doesn't love me anymore. She wants me to break up with Nick. But I love him. I really do. I keep telling myself that she will come around but she wont, maybe... oh hell I dont know.
And for the 30 seconds that I entertain the idea of breaking up with him for her I start to cry. I know it will hurt me and I dont want that to happen. I dont want to leave him. why doesnt she like me anymore. I fucking told her I was going to take her to the movies tomorrow and she doesnt even want to go with me. I swear she does hate me. She said if I decide to be with Nick that shes moving away and doesnt want to see me again. I can actually feel my heart breaking.