It’s all so beautiful; what’s the point of it all?
Imagine yourself as a single 38-year-old Serbian woman, still residing in the town of your birth, sharing a home with your mother. Doesn't seem like the ideal situation, but you're still an idealist. So much of an idealist, in fact, that despite the 150 marriage proposals you've received since the age of fourteen, you're still waiting for Mr. Right.
Unlikely scenario? Perhaps, but it's no fabrication. Milunka Dabovic has standards: "The man I marry needs to be handsome and tall, needs to accept life here in our village - and must be a hard worker with a good heart." Apparently, none of the 150 guys trying to win her heart fit those seemingly basic requirements.
Several questions arise upon reading this story:
1. Is Serbia really such a wasteland of ineligible bachelors?
2. How hot is this chick?
3. At what point should you just settle for what's in front of you?
I only wish it were possible to sit Ms. Dabovic down in a room with the brilliantly cynical Henry Louis Mencken, a long-time critic of American stupidity and frequent contributor to the Baltimore Sun. He's the witty fellow who penned the nugget, "Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make a better soup." For much of his life, he scorned marriage as the ultimate fool's errand; but finally walked down the aisle at the age of fifty, at last susceptible to the guiles of woman. Sadly, Mr. Mencken left this world quite some years ago, so Milunka will just have to keep waiting for her Serbian prince.
But Mencken's caustic words live on, critiquing the American (or Serbian) Dream for the befuddled pyramid scheme that it so often is. At times, it seems like life is just one big game of Deal or No Deal, and you keep picking the cases you hope will have the million bucks, but at the end of the day you have no idea and the banker's offer keeps getting smaller. The elusive nature of happiness and fulfillment, despite our lifelong pursuit of it, is a problem that has baffled philosophers and fools (who may be one in the same, after all) for centuries. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes that everything is meaningless, "vanity." He describes various occupations, the accrual of wealth, even living what most would consider a successful life, as ultimately of no value. "The race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong... time and chance happen to them all." But perhaps because of this randomness he observed, Solomon also writes, "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live."
Well, I'm no expert, but I tend to think there's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist and wanting the best for yourself--as long as you figure out how to be happy on your own without having any external variables. If Milunka Dabovic doesn't want to settle until her tall handsome hard worker with a good heart comes along, good for her--as long as she's OK with living at home til she's 75. It may all be in vain, but as Al Pacino says in Devil's Advocate, "Vanity is by far my favorite sin."
Unlikely scenario? Perhaps, but it's no fabrication. Milunka Dabovic has standards: "The man I marry needs to be handsome and tall, needs to accept life here in our village - and must be a hard worker with a good heart." Apparently, none of the 150 guys trying to win her heart fit those seemingly basic requirements.
Several questions arise upon reading this story:
1. Is Serbia really such a wasteland of ineligible bachelors?
2. How hot is this chick?
3. At what point should you just settle for what's in front of you?
I only wish it were possible to sit Ms. Dabovic down in a room with the brilliantly cynical Henry Louis Mencken, a long-time critic of American stupidity and frequent contributor to the Baltimore Sun. He's the witty fellow who penned the nugget, "Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make a better soup." For much of his life, he scorned marriage as the ultimate fool's errand; but finally walked down the aisle at the age of fifty, at last susceptible to the guiles of woman. Sadly, Mr. Mencken left this world quite some years ago, so Milunka will just have to keep waiting for her Serbian prince.
But Mencken's caustic words live on, critiquing the American (or Serbian) Dream for the befuddled pyramid scheme that it so often is. At times, it seems like life is just one big game of Deal or No Deal, and you keep picking the cases you hope will have the million bucks, but at the end of the day you have no idea and the banker's offer keeps getting smaller. The elusive nature of happiness and fulfillment, despite our lifelong pursuit of it, is a problem that has baffled philosophers and fools (who may be one in the same, after all) for centuries. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes that everything is meaningless, "vanity." He describes various occupations, the accrual of wealth, even living what most would consider a successful life, as ultimately of no value. "The race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong... time and chance happen to them all." But perhaps because of this randomness he observed, Solomon also writes, "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live."
Well, I'm no expert, but I tend to think there's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist and wanting the best for yourself--as long as you figure out how to be happy on your own without having any external variables. If Milunka Dabovic doesn't want to settle until her tall handsome hard worker with a good heart comes along, good for her--as long as she's OK with living at home til she's 75. It may all be in vain, but as Al Pacino says in Devil's Advocate, "Vanity is by far my favorite sin."