Some writing I found from last year...
These are some random thoughts of mine from last year when life kinda sucked for me...It's some short free write that I converted to short poems...I figured might as well start my journal with those, and whatever others I find...
The Inside out~
I am trapped in a hell
All it's own...
There's nowhere to run,
Nothing to call my own...
Misery has become
a good friend of mine...
I need a release,
I need to unwind...
My body, my mind,
and all of my being
hurts from the inside out
and prevents me from seeing
The light through the darkness...
I know it will be better
I know it will all be well,
But time feels as though
it is at a standstill...
I push myself through
every inch of my day
wishing all the time
to get far and away
from this un-wrenching sadness...
Silence~
There is a deafening silence all around me
yet I am surrounded by masses...
It's sweet stillness overwhelms me,
It may be more than I can bear...
It's tortuously wonderful
yet astoundingly sweet...
To hear nothing, nothing at all,
Only the sound of my trembling heart beat...
Away~
Why do I feel so empty, so sick,
So disgusted with everything...
It feels like it is all just descending...
I'm back in a place
That's so desperately sickening
All that is me just wants
To scream,
To get away,
To go away,
Away from this wretched hole of existence
and hide,
disappear
to where no one can find me
until I can escape
this twisted prison I'm in...
~Untitled~
I have no reason to hate,
No reason to loathe those around,
But lately I feel as if my heart
is crumbling into the ground...
I don't comprehend it for it is
sickeningly strange to me...
I am usually so happy,
so outgoing, so carefree...
I guess when in a whirlwind of change
I should be ready to rearrange
my thoughts, my emotions,
my desires, my compulsions...
What keeps me going
is I know soon it will all be alright...
I'm going to where my heart is,
where it shines oh so bright...
Everything once so dim there
now seems so vibrant...
The loud obnoxious cluster of people
now appear so silent...
It's funny how one never realizes
the true greatness they got
Until one steps away from it...
Amazing, absolutely amazing...
The Inside out~
I am trapped in a hell
All it's own...
There's nowhere to run,
Nothing to call my own...
Misery has become
a good friend of mine...
I need a release,
I need to unwind...
My body, my mind,
and all of my being
hurts from the inside out
and prevents me from seeing
The light through the darkness...
I know it will be better
I know it will all be well,
But time feels as though
it is at a standstill...
I push myself through
every inch of my day
wishing all the time
to get far and away
from this un-wrenching sadness...
Silence~
There is a deafening silence all around me
yet I am surrounded by masses...
It's sweet stillness overwhelms me,
It may be more than I can bear...
It's tortuously wonderful
yet astoundingly sweet...
To hear nothing, nothing at all,
Only the sound of my trembling heart beat...
Away~
Why do I feel so empty, so sick,
So disgusted with everything...
It feels like it is all just descending...
I'm back in a place
That's so desperately sickening
All that is me just wants
To scream,
To get away,
To go away,
Away from this wretched hole of existence
and hide,
disappear
to where no one can find me
until I can escape
this twisted prison I'm in...
~Untitled~
I have no reason to hate,
No reason to loathe those around,
But lately I feel as if my heart
is crumbling into the ground...
I don't comprehend it for it is
sickeningly strange to me...
I am usually so happy,
so outgoing, so carefree...
I guess when in a whirlwind of change
I should be ready to rearrange
my thoughts, my emotions,
my desires, my compulsions...
What keeps me going
is I know soon it will all be alright...
I'm going to where my heart is,
where it shines oh so bright...
Everything once so dim there
now seems so vibrant...
The loud obnoxious cluster of people
now appear so silent...
It's funny how one never realizes
the true greatness they got
Until one steps away from it...
Amazing, absolutely amazing...