A post! Ah ha!
I'm going to chalk up most of my bizarre behavior to hormones. The parts I can't explain. But every life has issues, whether a person is enlightened or not. Probably only perfectly enlightened people don't believe there are issues. Had a rough day at work a bit. Had some anxiety comparing myself to other teachers and worrying that people were upset with me. I wish I could just flip a switch so that I'd stop caring about that stuff (what other people think). I think maybe I could. Maybe if I were in the moment all of the time. Sometimes I feel too tired for that, though. I do want to be at peace. There really is no use in worrying.
How can one be connected to all others and yet separate from their opinions?
I'm excited about hopefully getting cats soon. I e-mailed the shelter yesterday and filled out the application today after Lori sent me the link. I know for certain that I want cats, to the point of looking elsewhere if I can't get them for some reason. And I think I need to try not to be perfectionistic in my search. People don't get to pick out their own perfect kids. They get what they get. People don't get perfect boyfriends/husbands. My boyfriend and I aren't perfect. We're working out. So, I kinda want to stop thinking about it too much and just get them. I look forward to actually coming home to somebody instead of coming home to an empty house.
I still do think there must be a better job out there for me. I just don't know what it is. I've brought it up to my spirits. Hopefully they'll help me. I need to find whichever book I was reading about communicating with them. Yesterday Brian thought he heard turning of pages in the night. I thought it could be spirits. Kinda creepy. But also kinda neat.
STILL haven't done dishes since the party. It's becoming unpleasant. But neither of us is eager to do it. We keep pushing it back. Definitely by Saturday. I'm thirsty.
Haven't been exercising like I was. Maybe I'm too tired? I need to find stuff that I find more fun than a chore so that I'll keep doing it. I may go back to mall walking. Though the weather is a bit warmer, it's still a bit cool for my taste.
I'm looking forward to going to California next week. Brian's first airplane trip! I'm also extremely excited and relieved to have Spring Break coming. I'm so weary and badly in need of a vacation.
I've got a lot going. A lot I can be thankful for. I'd like to remember that every day. The people in my life. The food on my table. Money coming in. Fulfilling work. Working body. Working mind. I am truly blessed. And I am truly beautiful, just as each of us is beautiful, each of us just as we are.
How can one be connected to all others and yet separate from their opinions?
I'm excited about hopefully getting cats soon. I e-mailed the shelter yesterday and filled out the application today after Lori sent me the link. I know for certain that I want cats, to the point of looking elsewhere if I can't get them for some reason. And I think I need to try not to be perfectionistic in my search. People don't get to pick out their own perfect kids. They get what they get. People don't get perfect boyfriends/husbands. My boyfriend and I aren't perfect. We're working out. So, I kinda want to stop thinking about it too much and just get them. I look forward to actually coming home to somebody instead of coming home to an empty house.
I still do think there must be a better job out there for me. I just don't know what it is. I've brought it up to my spirits. Hopefully they'll help me. I need to find whichever book I was reading about communicating with them. Yesterday Brian thought he heard turning of pages in the night. I thought it could be spirits. Kinda creepy. But also kinda neat.
STILL haven't done dishes since the party. It's becoming unpleasant. But neither of us is eager to do it. We keep pushing it back. Definitely by Saturday. I'm thirsty.
Haven't been exercising like I was. Maybe I'm too tired? I need to find stuff that I find more fun than a chore so that I'll keep doing it. I may go back to mall walking. Though the weather is a bit warmer, it's still a bit cool for my taste.
I'm looking forward to going to California next week. Brian's first airplane trip! I'm also extremely excited and relieved to have Spring Break coming. I'm so weary and badly in need of a vacation.
I've got a lot going. A lot I can be thankful for. I'd like to remember that every day. The people in my life. The food on my table. Money coming in. Fulfilling work. Working body. Working mind. I am truly blessed. And I am truly beautiful, just as each of us is beautiful, each of us just as we are.