(no subject)
Sometimes at night, I go outside and stare at the stars. I usually look for constellations, the ones I pretend to know. Other times I just wish on them and hope my wishes come true.
One day, I want to lay on the grass, wrapped in a blanket with someone and watch the stars. I tried it once, but the butterflies didn't reach my stomach and my heart wasn't beating as fast I was trying to get out of the situation. But hopefully, that one person will be someone I truly love and care for.
&&...
I want to fly.
Thank God for the people in my life that make it possible to fly.
If I could,
I would start it all over again. Everything. I haven't accomplished anything to be proud of. I screwed up. I am a failure. I want to start all over again.
Unfortunately, life is not a video game. When I think about it, all the happy things in life over come all the bad things that have happened to me... Which happy things? I don't know. Frienships? The strong bond my family possesses? School?
No.
Nevermind.
I shouldn't be complaining. So many people have it worse.
I just officially hate myself. I'm so stupid.
And no, I'm not being too hard on myself.
Because if I were, I wouldn't have done the things that I have done.
So do not pity me based on what you know about me, assume, or don't know.
Don't patronize me just because you feel superior to me.
Because that's how I've felt for the past 17 years...
In fact, just pretend everything's ok.
For my sake.
One day, I want to lay on the grass, wrapped in a blanket with someone and watch the stars. I tried it once, but the butterflies didn't reach my stomach and my heart wasn't beating as fast I was trying to get out of the situation. But hopefully, that one person will be someone I truly love and care for.
&&...
I want to fly.
Thank God for the people in my life that make it possible to fly.
If I could,
I would start it all over again. Everything. I haven't accomplished anything to be proud of. I screwed up. I am a failure. I want to start all over again.
Unfortunately, life is not a video game. When I think about it, all the happy things in life over come all the bad things that have happened to me... Which happy things? I don't know. Frienships? The strong bond my family possesses? School?
No.
Nevermind.
I shouldn't be complaining. So many people have it worse.
I just officially hate myself. I'm so stupid.
And no, I'm not being too hard on myself.
Because if I were, I wouldn't have done the things that I have done.
So do not pity me based on what you know about me, assume, or don't know.
Don't patronize me just because you feel superior to me.
Because that's how I've felt for the past 17 years...
In fact, just pretend everything's ok.
For my sake.