I don't understand how time works.
There are only 10 more days in February. How the hell did that happen?
I have not focused at all on letting go as I intended to do this month. When I'm journaling, I feel like it's more important to focus on gratitude so I don't get bogged down in the anxiety and frustration that has been seeping about the edges of my mind, ready to come in and flood the place if I don't take acts to hold them back.
If there's one thing I've learned through meditation, it's that acknowledging feelings instead of trying to distract yourself from them is important. Yet I don't want to wallow in these hurtful feelings either. I tend to see all the bad things more clearly than I do the good things, so I need to take time to acknowledge the good things even when I'm feeling the bad things. Capisce?
So.... here are all the good things: 1. I took the dog for a very short haircut, and now he is 3 times as cute as he was before. 2. Frog looked up more small scholarships for Tadpole to apply for, and he is going to make sure she does so by the deadlines. 3. I finished three very difficult, time-consuming tasks on my to-do list yesterday. 4. I downloaded Jane Austen's Emma on my phone and will start to read it this weekend. 5. I am taking time for myself right now to post here. It's good self-care. 6. Cheap breakfast burritos with egg, potatoes, and pico de gallo! 7. I'm getting better at controlling my portion sizes (although I'm still making poor content choices) and it shows: I am down a few pounds. 8. I swept the bedroom and hallway floor yesterday, which lessens my cleaning time today!
I read something recently that I really needed to read. I'm sharing it in case anyone else needs to read it. I don't fully believe it all yet, but I am trying to get to do so:
I have the right to say no to any demands or requests. I have the right to protest treatment that is cruel or unfair. I have the right to express my emotions or pain even though they may be untasteful to others. I have the right to my tastes and opinions, ideals and convictions. I have the right to ask for help and support from others, although I might not receive it. I have the right to be the final judge of my morals and beliefs.