(no subject)
One of the magazines I have to look through for work is an independent publishing magazine. The last one had, I shit you not, a nine-page ad for a vanity press called 1st Books. Nine pages of awful cover scans and even awfuller short synopses written by the authors. I think there's definitely a found poem in there somewhere. I collected some highlights of the synopses (and sometimes the whole synopsis, if it was just too good to break up). They've got samples of every book on their website, though, and those are usually even MORE unintentionally hilarious. The poetry especially.
The young Nurse comes to life and is more than just a friend.
The feelings he had for Beth were growing, but would she feel the same if he killed her brother?
This novel is about two fairies that were animals during their life on Earth, but take on human form in the fairy domain.
Studies in a unique manner the unconscious physiology and psychological reactions produced by each person, capable of being read.
High school is disillusionment and pain.
Bill, an asthmatic dreamer -- Joe, the target of a jealous brother -- an African-American family in a nearly all-white town -- and other ordinary people -- all struggle to achieve their own peace-of-mind in this collection of "insightful" and "thought provoking stories."
She begins a search for healing moments, then finally, finds hope for a future without the son she once thought she knew.
This book is a thrilling experience of fear, love and murder.
Engagements with wild animals nor savages can dampen their spirits after meeting two beautiful Indian maidens.
Perfect meter, perfect rhyme, perfect sense... describes... The POEMS of an ATHEIST. It contains 100 compositions designed to put the religious beliefs of any human being on Earth... to the most rigorous test of reason, truth, and common sense... ever.
After investigating other therapies, Maggie's journey begins when she undergoes Past Life Regression to travel to the past to silence terrifying voices challenging her sanity in the present.
It is as spiritual as it is magical, and the magic that it brings will transform the lives of all of those who read it.
Part of the book is based on research about Atlantis.
When Julius Caesar said, "I came, I saw, I conquered," did he really mean, "She looked a lot older than thirteen to me."
High school friends unite with the Rosebud Slasher in a final fourteen-hour military campaign to save Earth from an orbiting space cannon, the lustful Serpent and an army of the walking dead.
Intriguing concept of God Religion AND Science can accept -- PRESENCE OF TRUTH -- Nature's "laws" plus Cosmic Consciousness Religion calls "God." Validates "God" with examples of contact from Animal Instinct to Intuition, Savant Syndrome to Prayer. Even Atheists will KNOW "God."
The stories aspire to the spheres yet sublimely detail the dynamics of being.
In a world gone mad, who's better to blame than the Jews!
Fall semester has begun at Camden University, known for wild fraternity parties and beautiful women.
A book of poetry, about what some of us, if not all, as women feel, think and go through, in dealing with relationships.
As her spiritual quest unfolds, the author's experiences transfix the reader. The maze of ignorance, confusion, and fear falls away through perseverance. Brilliant light pierces illusion, revealing the beauty of the Divine in us all.
The author was waiting for the day he could get his driver's license and get his own set of wheels to do some street drag racing.
It begins the process to get Red, White, and Blue true-Americans to take their country back.
The youth of Hope Assembly find that the streets are sometimes not so hospitable to a life of peace with Jesus. The Warriors are just as perplexed by the Spirit of love. Might or right. Good or evil. Eternal consequences.
All men loved her, but she feared them. Some tried to cure her. Only one would rope her heart.
True wildlife stories about mice, crows, squirrels, porcupines, tomato plants, apple trees produce Mother Nature's best money making ideas. It's Fun, Easy and brother does IT WORK.
The large print and double spacing gives a non-threatening atmosphere to people with limited education.
It will touch your emotions. All of them.
The young Nurse comes to life and is more than just a friend.
The feelings he had for Beth were growing, but would she feel the same if he killed her brother?
This novel is about two fairies that were animals during their life on Earth, but take on human form in the fairy domain.
Studies in a unique manner the unconscious physiology and psychological reactions produced by each person, capable of being read.
High school is disillusionment and pain.
Bill, an asthmatic dreamer -- Joe, the target of a jealous brother -- an African-American family in a nearly all-white town -- and other ordinary people -- all struggle to achieve their own peace-of-mind in this collection of "insightful" and "thought provoking stories."
She begins a search for healing moments, then finally, finds hope for a future without the son she once thought she knew.
This book is a thrilling experience of fear, love and murder.
Engagements with wild animals nor savages can dampen their spirits after meeting two beautiful Indian maidens.
Perfect meter, perfect rhyme, perfect sense... describes... The POEMS of an ATHEIST. It contains 100 compositions designed to put the religious beliefs of any human being on Earth... to the most rigorous test of reason, truth, and common sense... ever.
After investigating other therapies, Maggie's journey begins when she undergoes Past Life Regression to travel to the past to silence terrifying voices challenging her sanity in the present.
It is as spiritual as it is magical, and the magic that it brings will transform the lives of all of those who read it.
Part of the book is based on research about Atlantis.
When Julius Caesar said, "I came, I saw, I conquered," did he really mean, "She looked a lot older than thirteen to me."
High school friends unite with the Rosebud Slasher in a final fourteen-hour military campaign to save Earth from an orbiting space cannon, the lustful Serpent and an army of the walking dead.
Intriguing concept of God Religion AND Science can accept -- PRESENCE OF TRUTH -- Nature's "laws" plus Cosmic Consciousness Religion calls "God." Validates "God" with examples of contact from Animal Instinct to Intuition, Savant Syndrome to Prayer. Even Atheists will KNOW "God."
The stories aspire to the spheres yet sublimely detail the dynamics of being.
In a world gone mad, who's better to blame than the Jews!
Fall semester has begun at Camden University, known for wild fraternity parties and beautiful women.
A book of poetry, about what some of us, if not all, as women feel, think and go through, in dealing with relationships.
As her spiritual quest unfolds, the author's experiences transfix the reader. The maze of ignorance, confusion, and fear falls away through perseverance. Brilliant light pierces illusion, revealing the beauty of the Divine in us all.
The author was waiting for the day he could get his driver's license and get his own set of wheels to do some street drag racing.
It begins the process to get Red, White, and Blue true-Americans to take their country back.
The youth of Hope Assembly find that the streets are sometimes not so hospitable to a life of peace with Jesus. The Warriors are just as perplexed by the Spirit of love. Might or right. Good or evil. Eternal consequences.
All men loved her, but she feared them. Some tried to cure her. Only one would rope her heart.
True wildlife stories about mice, crows, squirrels, porcupines, tomato plants, apple trees produce Mother Nature's best money making ideas. It's Fun, Easy and brother does IT WORK.
The large print and double spacing gives a non-threatening atmosphere to people with limited education.
It will touch your emotions. All of them.