FIC: [Haven] Shattered (Unbreakable #3), part 4. Duke/Nathan (Explicit) [2/2]

[roseveare]

They come to the lighthouse following the path out onto the long spit of rock. Nathan has never walked out here before. He's seen it every time he looks out from the town over this side of the bay, almost every day of his life, but he's never been there, even as a kid. It's never occurred to him.

Last night, Vince, Duke and Dwight admitted the same -- though Dwight wasn't in Haven as a kid. It makes Nathan wonder if maybe it's a part of the lighthouse's specific magic.

How, in any case, is a lighthouse the heart of Haven?

They're not going to get answers to that mystery today. Maybe it will always stay unsolved.

Jen leads the way through the door that only she can see and they descend down into the chamber beneath the lighthouse, Nathan for the first time, struggling awkwardly against the protests of his body as he takes the steep steps. Very faintly, the rocks of the carved cavern still reverberate with the sounds of the sea from far above. There's an odd blue-green reflection off everything, increasingly, the further down they go, though the rocks are reddish-brown and the lamplight is yellowish and the flashlights white.

"You can't get rid of me," William says, as their feet hit the ground in the bottom chamber. His heels scrape on the floor, echoing harshly as he drags them. His voice cracks. "You can't ever be rid of me, because I will always be... in here." His hands are cuffed but he makes it obvious what he means by in here from the the way he lowers his head and lunges, confined in his bonds, toward Audrey.

She's not easily rattled, but if you know where to look, the slight widening of her eyes... Nathan inserts himself yet again between her and William, blocking their line of sight.

William's words are emphatic, but his breathing is still getting faster, as it has been ever since they brought him through the trapdoor. It's the first time they've ever detected anything close to panic in him, or any sign he might not be slyly confident of holding the upper hand. Nathan isn't forgiving enough to feel pity, or even a good enough man to feel neutral about it. What he feels is relief -- maybe even close to euphoria -- at the idea that this can work.

Tension still underlines any other emotion he has at the moment, of course.

"You shut the hell up," Duke says, jabbing a finger. "You're going through this hole, so how about enjoying your last few minutes in this world quietly. You know... to properly appreciate them."

There's something hugely unsettling about this place, but even so, William's reaction is extreme, worse than anyone else's except Dave. He's not doing any appreciating.

"Seriously, guys..." William says, trying hard for his we're-all-good-buddies-here voice, the tone he'd used so liberally at the beginning of his jaunt in Haven. "This is not a good idea. You have no conception of the forces you're playing with. Maybe I went... a bit far..."

"You killed a fuckton of people, dirtbag," Audrey snaps at him harshly, and they can see Lexie taking over. "You tried to make me think I could be like you. I trusted you. I thought I knew you."

William groans, then says with exaggerated patience, "That's only because you're still the wrong one. If you'd only let go of this shell, then you'd be able to see everything."

Audrey shoves her way around Nathan and kicks William in the nuts, jabbing with real gusto using her high-heeled Lexie boots and laying into him the way Nathan's fantasized doing. "'Shell'," she hisses under her breath. There's a small, strange reaction from her in sync with William's much more overt one, but she shakes her head and shakes it off, mostly unaffected.

Jordan was right. Nathan feels a bit sour thinking that he could've done that at any time.

William's doing a lot more groaning now. Duke shoves him out of the way to make space for Jennifer to examine the floor and start frowning at her Creepy Magical Book. Duke takes over Nathan's position as human shield between William and Audrey.

"Okay." Jen is terse, and scared, and unhappy at being the focus of all this. "I need William there, Dave there, and Audrey... over there, opposite me."

Duke and Dwight manhandle William into place. Jordan and Vince take Dave, who's still singing his tune of "You really don't want to open that gate." He and William should form their own choir.

"From what he's been gibbering all morning, we'll need to keep tight hold on Dave once that gate's opened," Jordan warns. "And you both should be careful, too." She turns her nose up at William. "If he takes a dive into it, well, that makes all of our lives easier."

"I won't let you go in," Vince promises his brother. Nathan can't say he's surprised to learn one of the Teagues is adopted. There seems to be a lot of it going around. It's a relief not to have learned he was also planted from some other world, since he doesn't remember half the history ascribed to him, never remembered Max Hansen. Vince's gnarled hand on Dave's shoulder shows more affection than Nathan expects between the Teagues. Then again, Dave is also firmly handcuffed, and Vince leading him around like he's a detained criminal, which also kind of figures.

"We're ready," Jen says. She takes a deep breath, and eyes William with the sort of deep disapproval only a genuinely nice person can bring to bear. "Better say your last goodbyes."

"Only death and destruction await if you open that gate!" William yells. His feet shuffle as he struggles between Dwight and Duke, but like Audrey, he's no stronger than them. Immune to the Troubles and weirdly, incomprehensively mystically gifted in some way, but still just a man. Between the cuffs and Dwight's taser, the hands on him and the last few days' constant, constant guard, he has no tricks to offer them now. A line into Audrey's head was his greatest card, and she is resisting him.

Nathan can see the tension tight in her face even now.

He's not holding William. He resolves to watch Audrey. He moves closer to her.

He's only ever seen her this pale in a hospital bed.

If they lose her now...

Jennifer holds out her book and the design on the floor of the chamber starts to glow, the centre to lift in a square outline, and whatever's beneath gives off the funny, blue-green light that's been faint about the chamber all this time. William gives another hoarse yell and struggles frantically in Dwight and Duke's grips. Dave tries to move, his face suddenly turning flat and his eyes fixed, and is held back by Jordan... Vince's hand is still on his shoulder, but it's mostly Jordan who's making the difference. The pull of the gate can't match her impossible, undead strength. It clicks open to fullest extent, and that odd light is filling the room now, turning everything otherworldly and strange.

Nathan jerks his eyes quickly back to Audrey, but she isn't drawn to the portal. Nor is Jennifer, and nor, unfortunately, is William. He thrashes every step of the way, making it tortuous progress as Dwight and Duke try to force him toward the gaping hole.

They don't want that portal open a moment longer than necessary. Nathan joins them, and suddenly Audrey is there, too, moving from her position, where she shouldn't be.

The focus of William's struggles change, as he claws to touch her hands, to grab onto her skin where it's bare. Nathan notices how he's striving for that contact... can't help but cringe at the intensely personal parallel. He tries to shove his own hands in the way, but William's palm connects with Audrey's and his fingers close.

Unfathomably, Audrey's fingers close, too.

Nathan doesn't have time to shout a warning. The grip means she's still tightly holding William as Duke gives a great final shove to pitch William into the void.

"No!" Nathan clings to Audrey. His ribs grate. They can't take that kind of pressure. Duke's face, realising what he's done, is a picture of horror. For a moment, the world seems to hold, all of them suspended.

Then Dwight reaches in and twists William's wrist, and his grip starts to fail. Nathan tries to peel back Audrey's fingers. Duke gives another shove, this time wrenching back with his arm around Audrey's waist as he does, applying all the normal, human strength he can, strength that Nathan still lacks.

Their hands separate. Audrey is sent staggering back from the hole. William gives a final cry, but by the time Nathan looks over the edge, he's long gone. Audrey can't see him when she dives back in close, her face crumpling, turning shattered with grief.

Something twists in Nathan's chest that has nothing to do with his busted ribs.

Duke is yelling, "Close it!" and it seems like Jen must be trying to fathom how to do that with a book and a bunch of verse no-one else can see. She stands and holds the book out, uncertainly.

Dwight has joined Jordan and Vince in sitting on Dave, as the small, old man shows alarming intensity in his zombie-like struggle to get closer to the portal.

"Get him out of here!" Nathan urges them. The portal is closing, starting to close, at Jen's command, but it's horrendously slow, and the distress it causes Dave is extreme. "We've got this."

Audrey takes a step toward the closing gate. The look in her eyes has a good deal more focus than the emptiness in Dave's. Nathan sees it and dives to tackle her. It can only be conscious decision pulling her movements toward that blue-green light where William was lost. "Audrey, don't!" Pain bursts through him as his body connects hard with hers and they both hit the ground on their knees.

"No..." She struggles against him, trying to move closer to the gate on all fours. "I have to..."

"We'll take him!" Nathan dimly hears Vince tell Dwight. "Help Nathan!"

Vince and Jordan are dragging Dave away, and Dwight's coming... Nathan wonders where Duke is, steady helping hand and presence at his back, but he has to keep focused on fighting Audrey's desperate efforts to make it through that closing door, can't look around to find him.

"He was right, Nathan. He's the one. You don't understand, I have to be with him..."

Nathan could understand that sentiment, except-- "He wants you to be someone else!" He peels her hands from the lip of the closing gate. She jerks her elbow and deliberately scores his broken ribs.

Breath and thought scatter from Nathan's body. It was already difficult enough to hold on, with the position testing his healing injuries. Hitting the ground is worse.

"Nathan! Nathan!" Dwight's voice penetrates the pain haze. Nathan tries to blink a clear picture of what's happening now. Dwight has hold of Audrey but she's clawing at his face, and a gun -- damn it, Nathan's gun is in her other hand. Dwight's pushing her arm down, but any second now she'll realise she doesn't need to aim, or else she'll stop hesitating, already knowing that.

Nathan's ear is flattened to the cold cave floor and his body is twisted up on one side; ribs shrieking at him, neck a stiff bar of agony. He can't be sure if he passed out for a moment or not, but probably not -- it's only pain. He's just so raw to it. He rolls over and puts his palm down to flatten Audrey's gun hand to the floor with all the weight he can bring to bear. The gun muzzle scrapes a ridge in the rock-and-dirt floor of the cavern as she struggles to break the hold. She could still pull the trigger. It might take out both their hands and never get to Dwight. That's not a great solution, but it's all he has the capacity and thought to do.

Then, the door to another world slams closed. Audrey lets out a long wail, the sort of noise Nathan never imagined to hear her make, and collapses in a huddle, hands abandoning their mischief to cover her face. Dwight moves away from her, shock evident in his face.

Nathan re-holsters his gun, gasping for breath against the tight agony in his chest, and pulls himself up by inches; raises his head and opens his mouth to say something expressing relief.

Except there's a grimmer cast to Dwight's face now, and a horror in his eyes that says it's not over. Nathan lifts himself enough to follow Dwight's gaze.

Duke is hunched on the ground, bending over something.

Nathan blinks in confusion, trying to clear his eyes which still feel like they're full of sparks. It's Jennifer. Jennifer is on the ground. Duke is moving over her.

CPR, Nathan recognises abruptly, his brain kicking in. Duke is performing CPR. But that means that Jennifer is...

"What the hell happened?" Nathan gasps.

"She just fell. Like she just stopped, as soon as that damned gate started to shut." Dwight must also have been distracted, but was apparently facing the right way.

"Outside," Nathan chokes. "Cellphone signal." He struggles but is too slow even making it to his feet. He can't do it himself. Someone else must. There's no signal under the lighthouse, and probably not until some way back up the spit. "Call an ambulance..." Nathan doesn't know why he's giving orders to Dwight, but it's obvious the big guy is physically in the best condition to do this, and Duke is occupied.

Duke has demonstrably done this successfully before.

"Go," Nathan begs Dwight, who's already turning. Maybe he needs the order because it takes that little extra push for him to be able to leave this scene. Audrey's shriek cut short after a few seconds, and her sobbing has quieted now, but Nathan can understand that Dwight would be off-balance. He's never seen Audrey Parker like this. Maybe no-one has.

As Dwight's back disappears into the tunnels toward the staircase, Nathan crawls to Audrey. He'd go to her anyway, but if he can snap her out of this, perhaps she'll have some clue what happened to Jennifer, some idea that can help. Chillingly, Nathan remembers William's warning about other dangers awaiting if they opened the gate.

"Audrey, are you okay?" She lifts her head, and he can see her eyes are clearer. "Audrey..." He heaves her name this time with relief. That's her. She's back. For a moment there, he thought they had got someone else.

"I felt..." she starts. Then she shakes her head; shakes all over, and he can almost see a darkness falling away from her eyes. Then it's replaced by urgency. "Oh, no!"

She's looking beyond him to Duke and Jennifer.

She scrambles closer, but ultimately holds back, and only waits and watches, breathless, leaving Duke to his task.

It's a curious and awful thing to watch, from Nathan's new perspective. The artificial rise and fall of Jennifer's chest under Duke's hands, the forced breaths via Duke's lips. He can't help but imagine himself in that position. It makes it more real, somehow. His ribs pulse in sympathy with each down-push. At least Jen's not bleeding, and Duke isn't hyped up or slipping in and out of his game-face. He's just brown eyed, red faced, and desperate to win back a human life.

Duke looks a fraction short of a freak-out, even while he works so hard, and Nathan wonders if the memories are a difficult recall for him, too, triggering all the time he spent trying to save Nathan in another darkened cave.

When Jen finally draws in her own fragile breath, he thinks everyone in there hears it.

"Oh my God." Duke whoops the words, amid huge breaths of his own. Then Audrey's at his side, fussing over Jennifer, touching her face, loosening her clothes. Duke all but collapses next to them. Nathan gets as close as he dares, not wanting to get in the way. But Jennifer's breathing seems to stabilize. Her chest rises and falls of its own accord, regular and even. Her face is very pale.

"We need to get her up and out of here," Audrey says, "Or else risk explaining about the invisible trapdoor no-one but the unconscious girl can see to an EMT who doesn't know about the Troubles." She looks at Duke apologetically.

He groans and nods, gathering Jen up into his arms. "She's a hell of a lot lighter than you, buddy," he tells Nathan. Nathan staggers back, unable to help. He's pretty sure his left arm won't support any weight at the moment. It's all he can do to follow Duke, and Audrey helping Duke, all the way up the curling steps.

The hole disappears as Nathan's trailing foot passes through it. Audrey falls to her knees next to him and they feel for the hatch to close it, but the textures under their hands match the lie of their eyes. Nathan feels only the cold roughness of the lighthouse floor. They have no choice but to leave it.

Jordan, Vince and Dave are outside. Jordan rises from beside the hunched old men, her jaw hanging wide. Dwight is something like a mile away, back along the long, narrow spit where the lighthouse stands. Nathan hopes he has a signal by now. Wonders if they could even get an ambulance down to this spot. "We need to get her to the mainland."

"Is she still breathing okay?" Audrey asks, and Duke nods, no breath left himself.

Duke is visibly wiped out from the effort of CPR and carrying another person up all the steps. He hasn't done any of this fuelled by Troubled blood, and each further step seems to bring him nearer to collapse.

"Let me," Jordan says, and easily lifts the weight of the other woman across into her arms. She holds Jennifer steady and starts running, changing her gait experimentally at first to find a way to run that causes the minimum jostling for her burden. She heads after Dwight.

Duke starts staggering after her. "If she stops breathing again, Jordan hasn't the breath to--" he gasps, fighting Audrey as she grabs his arm to stop him.

"Neither do you, right now. I'll go."

Then she's sprinting, lithe and bright, white-blonde highlights in her hair catching the sun. That's Audrey Parker, Nathan thinks: still here with them. Still herself. It gives him one thing, at least, to be proud of in the endless logbook of his mistakes... of everything else he's done in this town.

Nathan groans and eases carefully down. There's a constriction in the left side of his chest, and he thinks he needs to be on his back, so he lies on his back. The straightened posture draws out some of the knots and tightness, though it hurts getting to it. Something shifts that he's fairly sure shouldn't be shifting, but it's shifting back... because he suspects Audrey's elbow knocked it out of place. Again.

"What's up?" Duke halts partway through flopping exhaustedly beside him, rolling up again to regard Nathan with concern.

"I think Audrey rebroke a rib."

Duke stares. "Has it punctured anything? It could've--"

"Nothing worse than before." Nathan hopes. He's pretty sure. He can feel all the broken pieces inside him, now, after all. The ambulance is on its way in any case. And he's sure he can still get up and stumble to it under his own steam, no need for Duke -- or, God forbid, Jordan -- to carry him.

***

They end up making separate journeys to the hospital. Nathan and Duke don't stumble back along the spit with the Teagues until after the ambulance has gone, speeding away with lights flashing, and Nathan wouldn't hold it for himself. There's already plenty that he won't forgive himself for, but if they got that sweet kid killed trying to solve Haven's problems, it would be a grimmer addition still.

Audrey went with Jen. Dwight and Jordan drive off with the stressed Teagues. Duke takes Nathan to the hospital.

Nathan endures more poking and prodding, more x-rays. Duke goes to see if he can check on Jen while Nathan's getting scanned, and re-finds him a few hours later. His face speaks loudly enough of his relief before he even opens his mouth.

"She should pull through." Duke trails his fingers over the back of Nathan's hand, where it rests on the arm of yet another hospital wheelchair. "But no-one knows why all her systems just stopped. Which after William's warning is pretty creepy."

It is, but... "We don't know exactly what happened in there. Maybe Jennifer can tell us when she wakes up."

They wait around another hour for the doctors to get back to them with instructions. Nathan just wants to go home. Any home, either home. Right now, he doesn't care.

William is gone and Audrey is free. Really free: there won't be another identity ever again. Maybe she can't find her 'real' self, but she sure as hell deserves the chance to make real the self she's ended up with. And if fighting and fixing the Troubles is her penance, of some kind... well, she's still here.

She's not the only one.

The radiologist comes back, eventually, excitement levels high, followed by the ER doctor from earlier. "You'll be pleased to know the hyoid bone fracture appears almost knitted," the radiologist says. "Gloria Verrano discussed this case with me. You're my first living hyoid break."

One of those doctors. Nathan knows the type from his days of numbness, and the experience makes him averse to being anyone's project. But he endures the interest and finally gets the news that, yes, there's a rib re-broken, but it's back in alignment and internal damage looks minimal. They can safely strap it up and send him on his way.

It takes another half an hour to do that.

Duke throws up his hands when they're finally sent away, turns it into a crunching stretch and accompanying groan once they're in the air. "I need a coffee. No, I need a drink. And a couch. Jesus, today... This has definitely been..." He sighs. "Well. It worked, so I guess it's been the best of all possible outcomes, in the end. Because I did not expect it to work."

"We probably shouldn't split hairs," Nathan agrees tiredly. "Let's go home."

***

They call by to check on Jennifer and Audrey on the way. Jen is sitting up in bed, her movements looking stiff and painful in ways Nathan's body understands, though Duke didn't do any significant damage this time. Her eyes are open and her pale face still animated by life. Audrey sits in the chair beside her, a bakery box of cupcakes on her lap.

"I sent Dwight for them," Audrey says, following the direction of Nathan's gaze. "You'll be disappointed to know you just missed Jordan." She feeds a cupcake to Jen.

She looks all right. There were several horrible moments after the portal closed and William was gone when Nathan had been sure she was not all right, would never be all right. The proof of the contrary leaves him feeling weak, and he sort of wishes he hadn't ditched the wheelchair. Duke must sense something, because he slips an arm around Nathan's waist and surreptitiously adds the support of his body pressing close against his back, making it seem no more than casual and affectionate.

Jennifer might be fooled, but Audrey probably isn't. She does, however, allow them to pretend.

"We wanted to see that the lovely ladies were okay before we ditched," Duke says, laying on the smarm a bit, next to Nathan's ear.

"Can't help but sense some insincerity in that phrase when you mostly want to ditch to go give Nathan a celebratory bone," Audrey critiques. "Of course, he's lovely too."

She does it, Nathan suspects, to make Jen giggle and blush. Knowing that doesn't stop his own face from flushing fiercely.

"Yes, he is." Duke kisses his jaw, not helping that.

Nathan growls, "Stop it." He jerks his head and tries to step clear of Duke with only partial success. His unsteadiness leaves him unable to risk breaking away completely. "Will you be... all right?" he asks Audrey, looking at her earnestly enough to tell her he's talking about more than the short term. "What will you do, now?"

"Dwight talked to me about staying with Haven PD, so we are good there. We need to work on a system of managing the Troubles for the long term. William's gone, but that means we're basically back to what we started with, except there's no end in sight."

Nathan nods. He's been thinking about it, too. Couldn't help it.

"What we need to do," Audrey says, "is to hound out all the secrets. Trace the family lines. Make the Troubles known. People like the Glendowers, like the Harkers, they'd been managing their own Troubles for years, no danger to anyone until William came along. Well," she amends, "no more danger than any other human being full of distrust and anger and flaws."

Cole Glendower wasn't made a murderer by his Trouble, after all.

"Get them all out into the open," Nathan agrees.

"Get the truly dangerous ones known, at least to the Guard and you guys, and we know what to look out for," Duke says. "So long as you don't expect to take the Crocker Contingency every time it gets sticky." The nervousness doesn't show so much in his voice as in the sudden agitation of the arm loosely curled around Nathan's waist.

"No, Duke." Audrey's eyes go sad and serious. "The Crocker Contingency stays our very last resort."

"William was deliberately creating and exacerbating the sorts of Troubles where we'd be forced to use it," Nathan says. "The Rev and his old crowd figured nearly any Trouble merited using it. It will never be like that again."

"No, it won't." Audrey bites into a cupcake. She reluctantly holds the box out to them, but they both know when to abstain. Besides, Nathan couldn't contemplate eating something that sweet at the moment. It still feels like the world's on overdrive. "We have to accept, though, that there may still be truly dangerous Troubles out there, like Arla's, or Harry Nix's, that force the Troubled person to kill to survive. There isn't always going to be a solution. And they don't just have to be a monster for a year or a few years out of twenty-seven, now."

"Is that really the end of any... other options?" Duke asks. "What does Jen's book have to say on it?"

Jen lifts it up by one leaf of its cover, and the pages flip. To Nathan's eyes, they look to be covered by cheesy teen vampire angst, but she says, "Gone. Blank. The whole of it, blank."

"Jennifer." Nathan approaches the subject, and it comes out too brusque, too blunt, but no-one else is asking and he needs to know. "What happened in the cave? William's warning... Did something come through?"

"Something... tried." Abruptly there are tears sparkling in Jennifer's eyes and her face sort of collapses, and Nathan feels awful. "I think... the gate was open too short a time. I think I held it back. But it was... I almost..." She covers her mouth with her hand.

Audrey holds her and glares at Nathan, while Duke's hand drums a comforting rhythm on his abdomen, though it's a notably subtle show of support.

"It was horrible," Jen sniffs. "So strong... But I'd know...I'm sure I'd feel if it had made it through." She shudders.

Audrey lets the silence hang for several long seconds before she tries to recapture the thread. "If we stop trying to push some ideal mystical solution, and aren't any longer fixated on sacrificing someone to a magical Barn at the end of every cycle, then when all that's done with, you have to look at managing and learning to live with it. That's just going to have to be what we do. Dwight and Vince are going to wring co-operation out of the Guard, and give us all the Troubles they know about that could explode in someone's face. Between us we have my immunity and Jordan's crazy zombie strength and immortality, and you -- well, I taught you everything I know." She grins wryly at Nathan. Then she hesitates. "But if you weren't okay continuing this, after what happened..." Nathan feels Duke's hand clench in the back of his shirt, but he's too caught off-balance by what she's saying to truly notice Duke's tension. "The Guard have agreed to release you. I've told them I'll take other... apprentices."

Nathan shakes his head fiercely. "Parker, I caused this. I'll keep doing what I can. It's part of the job, in Haven, besides." He taps the badge at his belt, wryly. "I'm not planning to give up that."

She nods. Her eyes drift behind him to Duke and there's a trace of apology in her face. It occurs to Nathan then what answer Duke might have been hoping for, what must have been the source of that tension. He starts to turn. "I'm sorry, I just can't--"

"Of course you can't." Duke's hand on his shoulder is warm and rocks him gently on his feet. "You're not going to abandon Haven."

But Duke could take his boat and disappear, leave behind the threat of being asked to use his curse again, the terrible possibility of losing himself into madness, and they would still have Wade. Who is mad already.

With Audrey and Jen right there, Nathan opts to wait on mentioning that option.

Audrey clears her throat. "Of course, there'll be other kinds of Troubles. People who stayed outside Haven. The Guard has this network that -- that we really need to take a look into. This town, I swear... so many resources, and none of them ever freaking talking to each other."

"What about Audrey Parker?" Jen prompts. Maybe her choice to phrase it that way stems from discovering that 'Lexie', who she lived with for months, was always another woman altogether.

Audrey raises her eyebrows. "Audrey Parker's going to be very busy. That goes without saying."

Duke tips his head. "There's more to life than Troubles, Audrey. Especially now you have time."

She snorts. "Well, there's cupcakes. Floofy cocktails at the Gull. Crappy vampire novels. Crappy vampire TV. I guess I will get to see the rest of Vampire Diaries." Nathan and Duke collectively groan at the thought of sitting through any more of it, though. "Love is overrated." Suddenly her face is serious. Intense. Fierce. She frowns at them both. "I don't want you, Nathan, or you, Duke, and I definitely don't want William. Although in... oh, a year or so, when I can think about men again, I might look up a nice, arrogant asshole of a Troubled guy who won't try and suck my brain. Depends how much more of a dick he's turned into in the meantime."

Duke and Nathan groan again at the thought of Chris Brody. "Of all the guys..." Duke starts. Then he throws his hands up in defeat. "No. Never mind. Ignore that."

"I will," Audrey says, a glint in her eye. She may well bring Chris Brody back at least fifty percent to fuck with them. Her regard of Nathan turns more wistful, for a moment, but she narrows her eyes and gives a very firm headshake. "I felt it for a moment," she admits, looking down. "All of it. Mara... William and me... What I felt about him. Then the gate closed and the connection... It was all ripped away."

"I'm sorry," Nathan says, aware it's becoming unoriginal, but with nothing else he can see that he could possibly offer.

"No." She sighs. "I'd rather be Audrey Parker, and not-evil. Thanks." Something in her face clears as she... lets it go, and she repeats. "Thank you." She grunts a little uncomfortably. "Okay, so you sort of doomed a town. But it worked out for me. And now we both have to keep fixing, and fixing, and fixing, to earn every moment we have..."

She reaches out and touches the back of Nathan's hand with her fingers. It doesn't make him ache like it used to. It's just like any other touch, now. He bumps her hand with his own fingers, easily. "We can do that."

"But," she adds, "we will also have some kind of a rota system, because this no-time-off-the-job shit is a no kind of a deal, and the Guard and I will have Words. And I'd kind of like to go see the world, since I've apparently never actually seen anywhere else other than Haven and that one trip to Colorado. You guys will probably just want to lock the doors of the Cape Rouge and have a sex marathon. Jordan wants to go on a pampering holiday... I don't know, I didn't ask. Zombie pampering."

Nathan has a horrible, sinking suspicion that somewhere along the way this arrangement is going to result in Jordan carrying a badge.

"Go home." Audrey wafts her hands at them, shooing them away. "Celebrate surviving. Right now, I care more about my heap of cupcakes and busting my roomie out of this joint as soon as possible. But when all's said and done, I think I am going to really enjoy planning for the future."

***

Duke and Nathan drive home.

There's a little confusion as to where 'home' is, because Nathan says, "Cape Rouge," and Duke says, "House!" In the ensuing argument, Duke also says, "It's a way better space for two of us, with way more space to bring the guys -- gals mostly, I guess, except for Dwight -- over for movie nights. Besides, you know why I always lived in a boat?"

Nathan looks at him, having no idea what answer Duke wants. "You like the boat."

"Because it's impermanent." Duke rattles his knuckles against Nathan's forehead with peevish frustration, and Nathan slaps them away. "Because it moves. It's a movable home, doofus. I never meant to stay."

That's when Nathan mentions that maybe Duke shouldn't stay. Maybe the best thing for him would be to leave the Troubles behind. Duke's curse is meaningless, after all, unless he's interacting with other Troubled people. There would be almost no risk if Duke simply left Haven.

That's when Duke gets mad.

"No, I don't want you to go," Nathan says, exasperatedly flailing his hand around the passenger seat of the car, feeling like he's some kind of comedy act. "But I don't want to feel like I'm the one keeping you here when the stakes are your life." Or sanity, which is worse.

"Why would I ever leave behind this?" Duke hauls Nathan into a kiss and grabs his ass.

"Ow." He tries, but the space is too constricted and his body isn't really up to the contortions.

"All right." Duke huffs and straightens, putting his hands back on the wheel. The truck is parked, though haphazardly, at the side of the road where he drew it up when they started yelling. "Look, if this is going to be a permanent thing, could you try to get injured less often, now you can feel it?"

Nathan scowls at him. After a moment, he adds, "It's not like it was ever deliberate."

They go to the Rouge, so Nathan wins, sort of. "Everything's still there, and it's practically been our home the last few months, and I don't need that much space or that much stuff anyhow," were his arguments. Dismantling them, they're not great arguments. He suspects he'll end up caving to Duke on the issue of the house, because ultimately he's less invested in the argument and Duke seems incredibly determined.

Duke's book on Tantric Yoga is on the table in the galley. Nathan contemplates hiding it and then subtly dumping it overboard when he has chance, because he has a horrible feeling it's also going to be something he ends up caving to Duke on.

Duke sees him glaring at it and gripes, "I don't understand how you can not be wanting to experience sensation in each and every shade or perversion possible."

"Because I'm not you?" Nathan retorts.

"When you were numb, you were so much more kinked than me," Duke complains.

Nathan transfers the glare to him and deems that something else it's best not to answer.

Duke sighs and asks, "Are you good with solids yet?"

"Uh..." Nathan has been shouting a lot in the last quarter-hour without particularly noticing it. "Reckon so."

Duke eyes him and pours two cans of his now extensive store of soup into a pan with the announcement they'll play safe. "I didn't feel like cooking anyway. This way we can just eat and crash all the quicker. Seems like staying up to play poker til 4AM then opening portals to alien worlds is a good way to wipe a body out."

He decants the soup into mugs when it's barely fully warmed through and they crash before the TV for half an hour in relative silence. Nathan's ribs throb. He has a little too much of a headache developing to enjoy football. The events of the morning -- of the past few weeks -- all seem to be reverberating through him still.

Duke doesn't bother to ask when he turns the TV off. "Come on, man," he groans through a yawn and a stretch. "Let's go to bed."

Nathan's reflection in the mirror as he brushes his teeth looks too alert to be ready to sleep. Duke dodges in behind him to use the toilet, earning Nathan's annoyance. Less than a week ago, it seemed impossible they could be back here again. Any sane thought led to the conclusion that William had broken them apart -- broken them individually, and broken anything they could possibly have between them. Yet here they are.

Here they are, arguing again.

Nathan huffs soft laughter as he gets into bed and Duke asks, "What?" a bit defensively.

"We're still here." Nathan has to gesture him in close to kiss him. Injuries are a bitch to spontaneity. But he won't be injured forever. Duke starts out agitated and slightly rough, but softens as he gets into the kiss.

They lie down by inches, manouevring around for the ongoing problem of Nathan's ribs. Duke curls arms around his shoulders and waist, warm, slightly sticky, strongly scented. They had no energy to shower. But Nathan leans into him and breathes. Some habits don't die. Scent is a powerful comforter, too. "It's like six o'clock and I don't even care," Duke mumbles. "I don't have any energy. I say we set the alarm for the morning and don't move until it goes off."

Nathan doesn't really feel like that, but he's too dazed, too devoid of other ideas, and is content to go along with Duke's. He grunts into Duke's shoulder and assumes it will get taken as assent.

They cling together for a while rather than try to settle. The act of breathing is hypnotic. The sounds of the Rouge tick over, comforting, familiar. Nathan even starts to drift. He starts to think Duke's already gone to sleep.

A soft sigh into this shoulder announces the contrary: silky-warm-moist against his skin, sending goosebumps marching out. "I am sorry," Duke says, slowly, into the rhythmic quiet, "that I took your Trouble away. Hell, if I'd killed you, I'd..." Nathan is in an excellent position to feel the horror with which his body reacts to that. "But somehow... miraculously... incredibly... you're not dead. So I'm sorry, but I also don't regret it. Can't regret it." His arms cling harder. His fingers dig into flesh. Nathan feels the harder ridges of fingernails. "I don't think you get how much difference not being Troubled makes in you. Even if you... even if you don't want it. But it's sad if all you can ever see in this freakin' gift is that you don't deserve it, because you do. You deserve to live and feel everything just for being a human being. Like Audrey says, I guess you still deserve to spend the rest of your life fixing Troubles in return for sealing everyone else's, but this... it wasn't your punishment.

"Hell, your Trouble wasn't even done to you. Some long-lost ancestor... William and some ages-old evil-bitch version of Audrey... You don't need to wear it like a fucking badge. You don't need it to do the work. It was always as much a hindrance as it was a help." Duke's hands slide over Nathan's face, squeeze his skin, trail deliberate patterns upon it. "You get to live, Nathan. You get to keep going and keep remembering how to live for all the Troubled out there who'll need you. So that they won't need me. Feeling it... is part of that. It will make you better.

"So you don't need to castigate yourself." He leaves a long, ticking pause. "Okay?"

"I--" Nathan begins, and apparently that's already enough for Duke to tell it's going to be an objection.

Duke hisses in frustration and states, brusquely, "You suffered as much as anyone under the Troubles, and besides, it's got fuck all to do with deserving or undeserving. You didn't ask to be cured. You nearly died for it. It sure as hell wasn't doing you any favours for those first few days. I totally suck for doing it. But you're not Troubled, and no power left on Earth can make you Troubled again. End of story."

Nathan rolls a little to the side, jerks his arm back and slams it forward, bracing the heel of his hand to strike Duke in the gut. He does pull it so that he's not hitting Duke as hard as he could, but anger still simmers in him for this part, which was wholly and completely Duke's choice even if the rest was not.

Duke lets out an extremely satisfying "oof" and his reaction rocks both their bodies. "What the hell kind of an answer is that?"

"It means you're not forgiven," Nathan grunts. "But if I couldn't live with it, I wouldn't be here. So stop talking, Duke."

There's a short silence, and then Duke makes a choked noise and demands, "Is that... are you hard?"

"Yes," Nathan says, slightly smugly.

"From thumping me. That was--"

Nathan huffs and mutters some half-hearted excuse about sensation and over-sensitisation and also not really being tired.

"Well, fuck you," says Duke, "because I'm exhausted."

"Mm." Nathan moves slowly against him, pushing in with his groin. They're slid down to the point they're pretty much lying evenly side-by-side down the bed, though sprawling on his good side means he's on the wrong side of the bed from habit.

"Evil," Duke groans. "You are evil. All those blows to the head during that time on the road, they brought out the evil version of Nathan Wuornos. You definitely came out of that winter an unstoppable sex fiend."

"It's half past six," Nathan states.

"You have broken ribs," Duke counters.

"We can work around it."

"Sex fiend... Shit, that's not an insult. You're not even going to bother to argue with it." Duke rolls away only to come back in lower down, spreading apart Nathan's knees, pulling up the covers over them both. He disappears under the covers. A moment later, Nathan feels lips curl around his cock and almost breaks something else with the wild jerk of motion the sensation sends rippling through him.

"Ow."

"Serves you right," Duke says, muffled. The words ripple over Nathan's cock, making him groan. Then Duke speaks intently but indistinctly as he ducks his head lower still. In the circumstances, Nathan can't be sure of every single syllable, but he's fairly sure of the gist. "You owe me. Tantric yoga. Tomorrow. No weaselling out..."

He distorts the last word into a vibration that lights up every nerve connection in Nathan's body like they've all got a direct line to his dick. So it isn't really his fault he ends up saying, "Yes! Damn it, all right!"

Duke's reply gets lost among the enthusiastic motions of oral sex, but was probably smug and infuriating, and Nathan decides he really doesn't care to know.

END

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