(no subject)
So my birthday was Sunday. It went alright I suppsose. I mean, it sucks being grounded on your birthday. I did ask for one thing though that went against my grounding from my parents, and that was to see if Katelyn Hannah Oaks could come up for my birthday. They said yes and she did. It was amazing being able to see her again. It's been ages since Ive seen her, and I can't believe how much a fucking asshole I've been over the past three months. I feel so low because I dont see how I could of ever hurt that girl, the girl I love most, as much as I did. I don't know how I could of made tears come out of those precious, gorgeous, sparkling eyes. It hurts me how I could of said the things that I said, and did the things that I did to her. I kept myself in complete denial to fact that, she IS the girl I am truly in love with, and always have been.
But somtimes, I feel when we talk, that I annoy her, and like just make her want to scream "shut the fuck up at me, and say you're fucking retarded and gay." But I think I do that to alot of people, but it bothers my more when it comes to her. I dont wan't to make her feel that way, I want her to be the happiest girl alive, and I want to give her everything that I am able to give to her. I want to make her feel loved, and know that she is good hands, and will forever be kept close to my heart. I want to give her the world, all wrapped up nicely inside of a tiny little box. Most of all, I want to tell her that I love her, I truely, madly, deeply do.
Well I think I actually used this thing as a journal for once. &&& now I'm going to go get some home made loaf bread from the cafeteria.
~Nick.
But somtimes, I feel when we talk, that I annoy her, and like just make her want to scream "shut the fuck up at me, and say you're fucking retarded and gay." But I think I do that to alot of people, but it bothers my more when it comes to her. I dont wan't to make her feel that way, I want her to be the happiest girl alive, and I want to give her everything that I am able to give to her. I want to make her feel loved, and know that she is good hands, and will forever be kept close to my heart. I want to give her the world, all wrapped up nicely inside of a tiny little box. Most of all, I want to tell her that I love her, I truely, madly, deeply do.
Well I think I actually used this thing as a journal for once. &&& now I'm going to go get some home made loaf bread from the cafeteria.
~Nick.