sitting in the library thinking and thinking...
people are always asking me, why do you make yourself miserable
i dont know why; if i knew why, maybe i could figure out the root cause and change that so that i dont do it anymore
i guess in some ways, if i make myself miserable, i can begin to feel something again instead of being so cold hearted all the time
ah... the beach thing, the thing i said would probably break me if i had heard it all on the same day, it has finally been confirmed to me now lol
even during the last friday of september when i figured things out, there were some doubts from my friends when i asked for their confirmation of my thoughts
"you think too much" they tell me
can i help it that thoughts run through my brain so fast so quickly? can i help it that i cannot censor my thoughts from myself?
some words that i will end off with because right now i really need to be told i matter:
"The difficulty you all face is that as you look around at all your fellow students, it’s easy to have your eye drawn by people doing better than you. Or rather, I should say people who look like they’re doing better than you.
[...]
In reality the true extent of how much people are learning can be difficult to measure. Sometimes failures and adversity are better preparations for long term success than effortless progress.
[...]
It’s up to you to decide if you want to make the focus of your life technological, focused on new innovations to drive society forward, or essentially human, focused on the age-old struggles of trying to get along, work together, and find happiness, or some combination of the two.
[...]
Science and technology is complicated. History and politics is complicated. People are complicated.
[...]
Do not fall into the trap of thinking that because you are surrounded by so many dazzlingly smart fellow students that means you’re no good. "
i dont know why; if i knew why, maybe i could figure out the root cause and change that so that i dont do it anymore
i guess in some ways, if i make myself miserable, i can begin to feel something again instead of being so cold hearted all the time
ah... the beach thing, the thing i said would probably break me if i had heard it all on the same day, it has finally been confirmed to me now lol
even during the last friday of september when i figured things out, there were some doubts from my friends when i asked for their confirmation of my thoughts
"you think too much" they tell me
can i help it that thoughts run through my brain so fast so quickly? can i help it that i cannot censor my thoughts from myself?
some words that i will end off with because right now i really need to be told i matter:
"The difficulty you all face is that as you look around at all your fellow students, it’s easy to have your eye drawn by people doing better than you. Or rather, I should say people who look like they’re doing better than you.
[...]
In reality the true extent of how much people are learning can be difficult to measure. Sometimes failures and adversity are better preparations for long term success than effortless progress.
[...]
It’s up to you to decide if you want to make the focus of your life technological, focused on new innovations to drive society forward, or essentially human, focused on the age-old struggles of trying to get along, work together, and find happiness, or some combination of the two.
[...]
Science and technology is complicated. History and politics is complicated. People are complicated.
[...]
Do not fall into the trap of thinking that because you are surrounded by so many dazzlingly smart fellow students that means you’re no good. "