(no subject)
ok i'm just writeing b ecause i want to one of my friends went to churck today and like found god agian in her life well i'm happy for her i want her to be happy and all but me i don't go to churck i olny go when my mom wants to go my mom's faimly is really into the whole god and churck thing well i never have been like that like going to churck or prying or anything like that i do believe in god and that he loves me but i fell like he dosen't show it i feel like i'm here alone in this whole like no one loves me or wants me here like if i die today no one will care that i'm gone i just don't know what to think, be or say i'm so depress al the time so i was put on some pill that is supost to make me happy but i feel the same i still feel like god hates me and is punishing me for things i've done in my life he as took away almost ever thing i've loved in this world if my mom is taken away form me i don't know what i do i've had a a good life so poeple say "why are u like this" well they don't know me the real me they don't know i was almost raped by a good faimly friend when i was like 12 they don't know my granma,a very close friend,and my dad have been taken away form me they don't know i'm bi and can't tell my mom about it and i have no one speisl to love or hold or anything i want someone to be with not to kiss or have sex with i just want to be hold and be told they love me for me i'm been called a very needed person and it is true i am needed i like to hug poeple alot like the last time i was with my friend and her boy friend i was like hugging on him and like went we sat on the couch i would kindof lay on him but me and him are just friend i cold never feel like that for him but i just want affecksion but i just i don't know i just feel like i'm alone and the only thing that makes me feel better is to listen to musie my fave song is *hold on* it means alot to me and i feel like if i didn't have musie i wouldn't be here so thank u to all the poeple who make muise they may not know they have changed someones life but they do ever day
well it's time for me to go
byebye
ROSE
OXOXOXo
well it's time for me to go
byebye
ROSE
OXOXOXo