Hey there...long time no talk. I wasn't sure if you wanted comments on this entry since it seemed really personal, but I just had to say something because this hits me really close to the heart. I'd understand if you deleted this comment or hid the entry or whatever you choose to do.
Anyway, what I came here to say was, I lost my beloved Cornish Rex cat this past February to a fast spreading pancreatic cancer. The funny thing was, compared to your relationship with Jasmine, I hadn't had her very long. We had adopted her only 2 and a half years ago, and she was already an adult at the time, so we didn't watch her grow up as a kitten or anything like that.
The thing is, in those short couple of years, she became a beloved family member. It was like we'd always had her. She was loving, and sweet, and she always seemed to know when someone needed a snuggle or a warm cat on their lap. She was the sweetest, most amazing cat. And she was my best friend. The one who I could cuddle if I was feeling sad or over stressed. Tell my deepest secrets or worries too without worrying about being judged.
I was the only one there with her when she passed away. She'd been fading fast over the past couple of days and we were actually planning what your family had done and have a vet come humanely euthanize her at home. She'd been staying in my room while she was sick, where we'd try to feed her and give her water, and it was probably about 7 or so in the morning when she finally passed. My mom thinks she hung on as long as she did because she loved us and me especially, and wanted to make sure we'd be okay. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but it was something to think about.
What I guess I want to say is, is that pets can be and are just as much a family member as anyone else you're related to. You love them and care for them deeply, and I don't care what anyone says, but I feel they truly and honestly love us back. Don't feel embarassed or silly that you're grieving for Jasmine. You're not alone or strange for it. I think anyone who's truly loved a pet has grieved for them when they passed. She was special to you and you are absolutely entitled to grieve and feel sad for as long as you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. She's not a "thing". She was a living breathing creature who you cared for and who cared for you and your family. You're allowed to feel sad.
I'm not really sure of the nature of your relationship with Tyler or how long you've been together, but I think it does sound like you both really need to sit down and talk. A relationship is about working things out and making compromises, but it's also about accepting and loving each other for who they are and what makes them happy. The fact that Tyler finds the idea of a tattoo on you a "turn off" is...well, kinda concerning. Especially since it's a memorial to a beloved pet. Especially since it's an arguably friendly and pleasant tattoo (you want marigold flowers, not a flaming bloody skull head or something like that). And especially especially because it's your body and it is your right to do with it as you please.
I do hope you both can work it out and find a way that both of you will be happy, whatever that ultimately means, but I have to say that he is dead wrong about the relationship you can have with a pet. I don't know if it's simply because he's never had a pet that he was close to himself, or if he's just that ignorant, but he is wrong and I feel sorry for you and for him that his perspective is so shallow of pets and their relationships with people.
...To wrap this up, what I really want to say is that I send my most sincere sympathies to you and your family for your loss, and may Jasmine rest in peace. If you believe in the story of the Rainbow Bridge, I know Jasmine is there with all the other beloved pets that have crossed over.
I'm extremely impressed that you read all of that, lovely. It's nice to hear from you, even if it's because of this depressing event. I'm so jealous to hear that you had a Cornish Rex. I'm sorry to hear of her passing. Thank you so much for your input on all of the emotion I put into this entry.
As for Tyler, we've been together for a year come September. I talked to him more about it on the phone this afternoon, which was hard for me. The conversation definitely didn't go as I'd planned. After I got off the phone with him, I immediately called my mother to rant and get her opinion. She calmed me down a bit and was able to bring some things into light for me. I called Tyler back after I'd finished with my mother, a bit more able to express how I was feeling. My mother had agreed with one thing that Tyler had brought up as a concern-- it's too soon. We just put Jasmine down in April. I'm still in the grieving process, very much so. Getting the tattoo now would be somewhat of an impulsive gesture. My mother suggested that I work on the design of the tattoo, and maybe set a goal date to get it if I still want to (she suggested my birthday at the end of November). After I further explained myself to Tyler, he said that if a year or so down the road, I still want to get the tattoo for Jasmine, he will take me more seriously. As for his turn-off towards tattoos, it concerns me as well. I still haven't gotten a straight forward answer as to why this is, but it's not as big of an issue right now.
Again, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write out your very heartfelt comment, hun. I really do appreciate it. I hope you're well.
Aww, it's nice to hear from you too, although I do wish it could have been under happier events.
I consider myself extremely lucky and blessed to have adopted my Cornish Rex. Her name was Mini and it was by extreme happenstance that we ever adopted her, to the point where I do wonder if everything really does happen for reason, hard as it is to believe sometimes. She really was amazing, and your story of Jasmine made me think of her and really moved me to post.
I'm glad your mom was able to help you find a good direction to proceed with your tattoo memorial to Jasmine. Waiting to be sure that you truly want the tattoo and in the meantime designing the tattoo yourself sounds like a wonderful idea. You can make sure the tattoo is exactly what you want it to look like, and the goal date of your birthday in November seems like the perfect way to be sure. I don't think you should be obligated to "wait a year" just to be taken seriously, especially after you've put a lot of effort and thought into the design (although if you find you need longer to decide for yourself then of course, get the tattoo when you feel most comfortable).
In any case, I do hope things settle out with Tyler, and again I want to express my condolences for the loss of Jasmine. I've been well for the most part, losses aside, and I do hope that things have been going alright for you as well.
Anyway, what I came here to say was, I lost my beloved Cornish Rex cat this past February to a fast spreading pancreatic cancer. The funny thing was, compared to your relationship with Jasmine, I hadn't had her very long. We had adopted her only 2 and a half years ago, and she was already an adult at the time, so we didn't watch her grow up as a kitten or anything like that.
The thing is, in those short couple of years, she became a beloved family member. It was like we'd always had her. She was loving, and sweet, and she always seemed to know when someone needed a snuggle or a warm cat on their lap. She was the sweetest, most amazing cat. And she was my best friend. The one who I could cuddle if I was feeling sad or over stressed. Tell my deepest secrets or worries too without worrying about being judged.
I was the only one there with her when she passed away. She'd been fading fast over the past couple of days and we were actually planning what your family had done and have a vet come humanely euthanize her at home. She'd been staying in my room while she was sick, where we'd try to feed her and give her water, and it was probably about 7 or so in the morning when she finally passed. My mom thinks she hung on as long as she did because she loved us and me especially, and wanted to make sure we'd be okay. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but it was something to think about.
What I guess I want to say is, is that pets can be and are just as much a family member as anyone else you're related to. You love them and care for them deeply, and I don't care what anyone says, but I feel they truly and honestly love us back. Don't feel embarassed or silly that you're grieving for Jasmine. You're not alone or strange for it. I think anyone who's truly loved a pet has grieved for them when they passed. She was special to you and you are absolutely entitled to grieve and feel sad for as long as you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. She's not a "thing". She was a living breathing creature who you cared for and who cared for you and your family. You're allowed to feel sad.
I'm not really sure of the nature of your relationship with Tyler or how long you've been together, but I think it does sound like you both really need to sit down and talk. A relationship is about working things out and making compromises, but it's also about accepting and loving each other for who they are and what makes them happy. The fact that Tyler finds the idea of a tattoo on you a "turn off" is...well, kinda concerning. Especially since it's a memorial to a beloved pet. Especially since it's an arguably friendly and pleasant tattoo (you want marigold flowers, not a flaming bloody skull head or something like that). And especially especially because it's your body and it is your right to do with it as you please.
I do hope you both can work it out and find a way that both of you will be happy, whatever that ultimately means, but I have to say that he is dead wrong about the relationship you can have with a pet. I don't know if it's simply because he's never had a pet that he was close to himself, or if he's just that ignorant, but he is wrong and I feel sorry for you and for him that his perspective is so shallow of pets and their relationships with people.
...To wrap this up, what I really want to say is that I send my most sincere sympathies to you and your family for your loss, and may Jasmine rest in peace. If you believe in the story of the Rainbow Bridge, I know Jasmine is there with all the other beloved pets that have crossed over.
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As for Tyler, we've been together for a year come September. I talked to him more about it on the phone this afternoon, which was hard for me. The conversation definitely didn't go as I'd planned. After I got off the phone with him, I immediately called my mother to rant and get her opinion. She calmed me down a bit and was able to bring some things into light for me. I called Tyler back after I'd finished with my mother, a bit more able to express how I was feeling. My mother had agreed with one thing that Tyler had brought up as a concern-- it's too soon. We just put Jasmine down in April. I'm still in the grieving process, very much so. Getting the tattoo now would be somewhat of an impulsive gesture. My mother suggested that I work on the design of the tattoo, and maybe set a goal date to get it if I still want to (she suggested my birthday at the end of November). After I further explained myself to Tyler, he said that if a year or so down the road, I still want to get the tattoo for Jasmine, he will take me more seriously. As for his turn-off towards tattoos, it concerns me as well. I still haven't gotten a straight forward answer as to why this is, but it's not as big of an issue right now.
Again, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write out your very heartfelt comment, hun. I really do appreciate it. I hope you're well.
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I consider myself extremely lucky and blessed to have adopted my Cornish Rex. Her name was Mini and it was by extreme happenstance that we ever adopted her, to the point where I do wonder if everything really does happen for reason, hard as it is to believe sometimes. She really was amazing, and your story of Jasmine made me think of her and really moved me to post.
I'm glad your mom was able to help you find a good direction to proceed with your tattoo memorial to Jasmine. Waiting to be sure that you truly want the tattoo and in the meantime designing the tattoo yourself sounds like a wonderful idea. You can make sure the tattoo is exactly what you want it to look like, and the goal date of your birthday in November seems like the perfect way to be sure. I don't think you should be obligated to "wait a year" just to be taken seriously, especially after you've put a lot of effort and thought into the design (although if you find you need longer to decide for yourself then of course, get the tattoo when you feel most comfortable).
In any case, I do hope things settle out with Tyler, and again I want to express my condolences for the loss of Jasmine. I've been well for the most part, losses aside, and I do hope that things have been going alright for you as well.
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