realmof_themuse March; 13.C.4
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Mohandas Ghandi
For the first two weeks, I hated him.
It was the kind of feeling I knew too well, the anger that came up for more people in my life than I can count back on. Funny, I can't really remember most of their names and that just makes me think I didn't really hate them. But I thought I did. The difference now, this time, was that I actually hated him. There's really a fine, thin line between love and hate, I didn't realize it until the hatred was focused on someone I love that much, and I think I stood with one foot on both sides of that line, too afraid to fall because I didn't want to fall on either side. It was too scary to think about either way.
So I told myself that I hated him for taking the decision away from me, for giving me a responsibility I knew I had to take on, but taking himself away from me in the process. There had never been a rock and a hard place for me to be caught between until then, and I felt the pressure, the oppression from both sides. I hated it, but that didn't make it go away.
So I turned the hatred on him instead, and gave it my best effort for two weeks. And when I couldn't hate him anymore without tears coming to my eyes, I made myself let go. He didn't want me to hate him, didn't want me to spend any more of my life and my time in pain. He just wanted me to have the life that he thought I deserved.
It did need saying, and he said it in the only way he could. I can't hate him for that.
Muse: Rose Tyler
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 296