A Paucity of Prefects (scarvesnhats Day 16)
Title: A Paucity of Prefects
Rating: Gen/PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them.
Wordcount:
Prompt: Conkers
Notes: Sixth year. A prefects' meeting. Apologies - I know this one isn't up to standard. I've managed to combine a stinking cold with my flu jab for this year and am distinctly fuzzy (if that's not an oxymoron).
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“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” said Lorelei Sprout, the Head Girl. “Move up. It’s not like we need the space.”
Remus reluctantly shuffled up the table until he was sitting next to her. He grinned uncomfortably at Jeffrey Adams, one of the fifth year Gryffindor prefects. Adams rolled his eyes and cast a look to his right where Severus Snape sat with Narcissa and Regulus Black. All three of them looked furious at having to sit so close to a Gryffindor and neither Regulus nor Narcissa looked well.
“Right,” Lorelei said. “First thing on the agenda is the conker ban.”
“Um, Lorelei?” said one of the other Hufflepuffs. “What about the prefect crisis?”
Lorelei’s shoulders dropped. “Business as usual. It’s what Dumbledore would expect.”
“He has the flu, too,” Adams said. “And there’s only ten of us. We can’t do business as usual. The lower years are running riot.”
“I don’t understand why they haven’t been affected yet,” the other Hufflepuff said.
Daniel Goldstein, the Ravenclaw, rolled his eyes. “Because Black there was the first to get it. We all caught it from him and people in our years caught it from us.”
“The whole of wizarding Britain has it,” Snape said, glaring. Regulus, beside him, shook his hair back and sneered at Goldstein.
“No accusations,” Lorelei said firmly. “Alright. Suggestions for dealing with this situation, please.”
There was a long silence. Remus looked down at the table. He could see Lily’s point but the Slytherins were going to hate the idea.
“Anybody?” Lorelei said.
Remus cleared his throat.
“Lupin?”
“As if he’ll have anything useful to say,” Snape muttered.
Remus scowled at him. “Lily Evans suggested this - she’ll be back in a few days, Lorelei, which should help.”
“Go on,” Lorelei said. “Lily has some common sense.”
Remus hated being a prefect. “Lily thinks we should co-opt the remaining sixth and seventh years as interim prefects.”
“What!” Snape shrieked. “Make Sirius Black a prefect! Over my dead body!”
“You’re so predictable, Snape,” Remus snapped. He’d told Lily this would happen.
“Because I’m right! It’s outrageous!”
“Stop it! Please, stop it!”
Everyone turned to stare at Narcissa. Her hands were wrapped around the edge of the table and her cheeks were bright. “Stop it!” she said again. “Just stop it! Stop shouting! I don’t like shouting.” Then she burst into tears.
“Oh, no,” Lorelei muttered as Regulus sprang up. “Not another one.”
“Cissa?” Regulus asked, his face tight with worry. Lupin wasn’t sure if the others recognised that look but he knew. It was the one Sirius gave him.
Narcissa buried her head in her arms. “Go away. I don’t want you! I don’t want any of you. I want my sister.”
Everyone flinched. The last thing they wanted in school right now was Bellatrix Lestrange.
“I want Andromeda!” Narcissa wailed. “I - achoo! Achoo!”
“Nine prefects,” Lorelei said gloomily as Snape and Regulus led the weeping Narcissa away. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if Pomfrey kept the younger Black in. Bloody, sickly purebloods.”
“I’m a pureblood,” Adams protested.
Lorelei banged her fist on the table. “Order! Order! Let’s discuss Lupin’s suggestions before Snape gets back. Hufflepuff has the floor.”
“Snape has a point. Can we really trust Black and Potter not to abuse the power?”
Remus felt obliged to object. “They’re not the only ones.”
“But they’re the worst,” Goldstein said and everyone laughed.
Remus slid down in his chair. He really hated prefects’ meetings.
“Well, Lupin?”
“Lily can deal with James,” he said, “and I’ll talk to Sirius.”
“Going to make him sleep alone, Lupin?” Goldstein asked, smirking.
“What?” Remus yelped and felt the blood rush to his cheeks.
“It’s hardly a secret, Lupin.”
“I’m not- I never. Piss off, Goldstein.”
“Order!”
“Sorry, Loz,” Goldstein said and winked at her. Lorelei blushed. Remus eyed the clock discreetly. The hand was pointing to ‘Off-Topic’.
“Further comments from Hufflepuff?”
“Nope. I like it. I just don’t want Black and Potter to start a House war!”
“And Snape!” Remus protested.
“Oh, shut up, Lupin.” That was half the room and he sighed and began to wish, quite sincerely, that his immune system wasn’t flu-proof.
“Ravenclaw has the floor.”
“You’re too good to us, lovely Lorelei,” Goldstein said and she frowned at him. “I like the idea but with provisos. How about we restrict these interim prefects to taking points off their own houses?”
“And give actual prefects the right to overrule them?” Adams suggested.
Remus sat back and let them debate. He’d done what he’d promised Lily. All he needed to worry about now was the fact that all his fellow prefects thought he was shagging Sirius. James would never let either of them live it down if it got back to him. As for what Sirius might say…
The discussion was interrupted by Snape and Regulus returning.
“What are we discussing?” Regulus asked, throwing himself into his chair.
“Prefects,” Lorelei said. “Daniel has made some very useful suggestions.”
Goldstein blew her a kiss. “But if you’re bored we can go back to discussing Lupin’s sex life.”
Snape looked disgusted and Regulus glowered. “I don’t want to know about Lupin’s perversions.” Then he muttered, audibly, “We all know you’re just his adolescent rebellion, anyway.”
Enough was enough. “Lorelei?” Remus asked and was surprised by how cool he sounded. “If I permanently transfigure a fellow prefect will I lose my badge?”
“Not when I only have nine prefects standing!”
“Fine. Short and painful it is. Stand my second, Adams.”
Snape was already going for his wand as Remus stood up, pointed and said, “Devesto totalum!”
Regulus Black, he was amused to note, shrieked like a girl when all his clothes vanished. Then battle commenced in earnest. Not all prefects’ meetings were that bad.
Rating: Gen/PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them.
Wordcount:
Prompt: Conkers
Notes: Sixth year. A prefects' meeting. Apologies - I know this one isn't up to standard. I've managed to combine a stinking cold with my flu jab for this year and am distinctly fuzzy (if that's not an oxymoron).
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” said Lorelei Sprout, the Head Girl. “Move up. It’s not like we need the space.”
Remus reluctantly shuffled up the table until he was sitting next to her. He grinned uncomfortably at Jeffrey Adams, one of the fifth year Gryffindor prefects. Adams rolled his eyes and cast a look to his right where Severus Snape sat with Narcissa and Regulus Black. All three of them looked furious at having to sit so close to a Gryffindor and neither Regulus nor Narcissa looked well.
“Right,” Lorelei said. “First thing on the agenda is the conker ban.”
“Um, Lorelei?” said one of the other Hufflepuffs. “What about the prefect crisis?”
Lorelei’s shoulders dropped. “Business as usual. It’s what Dumbledore would expect.”
“He has the flu, too,” Adams said. “And there’s only ten of us. We can’t do business as usual. The lower years are running riot.”
“I don’t understand why they haven’t been affected yet,” the other Hufflepuff said.
Daniel Goldstein, the Ravenclaw, rolled his eyes. “Because Black there was the first to get it. We all caught it from him and people in our years caught it from us.”
“The whole of wizarding Britain has it,” Snape said, glaring. Regulus, beside him, shook his hair back and sneered at Goldstein.
“No accusations,” Lorelei said firmly. “Alright. Suggestions for dealing with this situation, please.”
There was a long silence. Remus looked down at the table. He could see Lily’s point but the Slytherins were going to hate the idea.
“Anybody?” Lorelei said.
Remus cleared his throat.
“Lupin?”
“As if he’ll have anything useful to say,” Snape muttered.
Remus scowled at him. “Lily Evans suggested this - she’ll be back in a few days, Lorelei, which should help.”
“Go on,” Lorelei said. “Lily has some common sense.”
Remus hated being a prefect. “Lily thinks we should co-opt the remaining sixth and seventh years as interim prefects.”
“What!” Snape shrieked. “Make Sirius Black a prefect! Over my dead body!”
“You’re so predictable, Snape,” Remus snapped. He’d told Lily this would happen.
“Because I’m right! It’s outrageous!”
“Stop it! Please, stop it!”
Everyone turned to stare at Narcissa. Her hands were wrapped around the edge of the table and her cheeks were bright. “Stop it!” she said again. “Just stop it! Stop shouting! I don’t like shouting.” Then she burst into tears.
“Oh, no,” Lorelei muttered as Regulus sprang up. “Not another one.”
“Cissa?” Regulus asked, his face tight with worry. Lupin wasn’t sure if the others recognised that look but he knew. It was the one Sirius gave him.
Narcissa buried her head in her arms. “Go away. I don’t want you! I don’t want any of you. I want my sister.”
Everyone flinched. The last thing they wanted in school right now was Bellatrix Lestrange.
“I want Andromeda!” Narcissa wailed. “I - achoo! Achoo!”
“Nine prefects,” Lorelei said gloomily as Snape and Regulus led the weeping Narcissa away. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if Pomfrey kept the younger Black in. Bloody, sickly purebloods.”
“I’m a pureblood,” Adams protested.
Lorelei banged her fist on the table. “Order! Order! Let’s discuss Lupin’s suggestions before Snape gets back. Hufflepuff has the floor.”
“Snape has a point. Can we really trust Black and Potter not to abuse the power?”
Remus felt obliged to object. “They’re not the only ones.”
“But they’re the worst,” Goldstein said and everyone laughed.
Remus slid down in his chair. He really hated prefects’ meetings.
“Well, Lupin?”
“Lily can deal with James,” he said, “and I’ll talk to Sirius.”
“Going to make him sleep alone, Lupin?” Goldstein asked, smirking.
“What?” Remus yelped and felt the blood rush to his cheeks.
“It’s hardly a secret, Lupin.”
“I’m not- I never. Piss off, Goldstein.”
“Order!”
“Sorry, Loz,” Goldstein said and winked at her. Lorelei blushed. Remus eyed the clock discreetly. The hand was pointing to ‘Off-Topic’.
“Further comments from Hufflepuff?”
“Nope. I like it. I just don’t want Black and Potter to start a House war!”
“And Snape!” Remus protested.
“Oh, shut up, Lupin.” That was half the room and he sighed and began to wish, quite sincerely, that his immune system wasn’t flu-proof.
“Ravenclaw has the floor.”
“You’re too good to us, lovely Lorelei,” Goldstein said and she frowned at him. “I like the idea but with provisos. How about we restrict these interim prefects to taking points off their own houses?”
“And give actual prefects the right to overrule them?” Adams suggested.
Remus sat back and let them debate. He’d done what he’d promised Lily. All he needed to worry about now was the fact that all his fellow prefects thought he was shagging Sirius. James would never let either of them live it down if it got back to him. As for what Sirius might say…
The discussion was interrupted by Snape and Regulus returning.
“What are we discussing?” Regulus asked, throwing himself into his chair.
“Prefects,” Lorelei said. “Daniel has made some very useful suggestions.”
Goldstein blew her a kiss. “But if you’re bored we can go back to discussing Lupin’s sex life.”
Snape looked disgusted and Regulus glowered. “I don’t want to know about Lupin’s perversions.” Then he muttered, audibly, “We all know you’re just his adolescent rebellion, anyway.”
Enough was enough. “Lorelei?” Remus asked and was surprised by how cool he sounded. “If I permanently transfigure a fellow prefect will I lose my badge?”
“Not when I only have nine prefects standing!”
“Fine. Short and painful it is. Stand my second, Adams.”
Snape was already going for his wand as Remus stood up, pointed and said, “Devesto totalum!”
Regulus Black, he was amused to note, shrieked like a girl when all his clothes vanished. Then battle commenced in earnest. Not all prefects’ meetings were that bad.