A Hidden Hoard (scarvesnhats Day 13)
Title: A Hidden Hoard
Rating: PG-13 (for language and sexual references)
Disclaimer: They're not mine *pouts*. I'm just borrowing them.
Wordcount: 1390
Prompt: Rumpled blankets.
Notes: Pre-slash. Sixth year. The dormitory seems strange without James. (Minor disclaimer: Please note that I am not, nor have ever been, a teenage boy and have thankfully never heard such creatures discuss sex. So forgive anything which doesn't ring true)
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The house elves had made James’ bed. The red blanket was straight. The corners were neat. The pillows were perfectly plumped and aligned with the edge of the mattress.
It was wrong. As far as he was concerned there were certain inalterable truths in the world and one of them was that Prongs and neat beds did not combine.
“Is everyone else still awake?” he asked loudly.
“Only because you won’t shut up,” groaned Peter.
“Yes,” Remus said quietly.
Sirius glared at him. He had the covers up around his neck again and had turned his back. Which was code for ‘Remus Lupin does not want to talk.’ Which meant that he was still fussing about yesterday. Which was also wrong.
Sirius sighed and threw himself back onto his pillows. “You two are crap. I want Prongs back.”
“You’re crap,” Peter retorted sleepily. “Go and get flu, then.”
Remus dragged the blankets over his head.
Sirius looked from him to Peter, who was blinking at him, and threw his hands into the air. Rolling out of bed, he stalked over to glare at James’ pristine bed. “Do you know what I’m going to do? I am going to bounce on Prongs’ bed.”
“Why?” Peter asked.
“Because it shouldn’t be neat. We have a sacred duty to keep his stuff as he’d like it. If he dies, he’ll be back here to haunt you, you’ll see. He’ll hang over your bed, moaning, Wormtail, Wormtail, you failed me! You let them make my bed! Ooooooo!”
Peter dodged him and said, “But James isn’t going to die?”
“No,” Remus said. “He’s only got it lightly. And he wouldn’t haunt you, Pete.”
“I don’t deserve to be haunted,” Sirius pointed out. “And you’re boring.”
Remus retreated under his blankets again. “He’d haunt the girls’ bathroom, you twat.”
Some people, Sirius thought sourly, were just too clever for their own good. He cast a baleful glare at Remus’ blanket-obscured back and heaved himself onto James’ bed. He hurled himself backwards, throwing his arms out for maximum blanket-rumpling effect. Then he looked up.
“Bloody hell! The dirty bastard. Come and look at this, lads.”
Peter was there immediately and after a moment Remus joined them, perching on the edge of the bed. They both looked up.
There was a moment’s silence.
Then Remus said, “Looks like he’s already haunting the girls’ bathroom.”
Peter, hoarse with awe, added, “No wonder he wanks all the time.”
“Evans will kill him if she ever finds out,” Sirius contributed.
They all went back to staring at the photographs pinned to the canopy above them. All were of Lily Evans, in the common room, by the lake, in bed, getting undressed, in the bath . Most were blurry, as if taken from behind something clear and-
“Fuck!” Sirius yelped. “I’ve touched that cloak.”
Remus twitched beside him and Peter said wistfully, “Well, if you’ve got it, use it.”
The other two sat up to stare at him and he said hurriedly, “Not that I would. Don’t like redheads.”
“Yeah, right,” Remus said.
“I don’t!”
“Angela Mainwaring?” Remus asked.
“Alright. I don’t like Evans - don’t fancy her, I mean. Nice girl. I prefer blondes.”
“Only because you’re scared of Prongs.”
Sirius, who was thinking, let the argument roll over him. It was beginning to occur to him that there was more than one reason to be glad he’d left home. He’d been thinking about it as he burnt that morning’s letter, about all the little things that were no longer his mother’s business. He hadn’t thought of this one until now.
“At least I never stared at Sturgis Podmore’s bum!” Peter said, a little shrilly.
“I did not!” Remus sat up and Sirius reached out absently and grabbed his wrist before he fled. Then he registered what he’d just heard and said, “Podmore?”
“No!”
“Did too,” Peter said. “Come on, everyone knows I’m the only straight and normal one in this dorm.”
“Make that subnormal and shut up,” Sirius said.
“You like to go rat and run up girls’ legs,” Remus flung over him.
“They smell good!”
There was another silence and Remus said, rather shakily, “Too much information, Wormtail. And James is straight.”
“Oy,” Sirius said.
“Nah,” Peter said wisely. “He’s Lilysexual.”
They all pondered that. Sirius, who was still mulling over his latest revelation, studied the photographs above him. Several of them were moving: Lily running down the corridor, Lily sighing in her sleep, Lily in the bath, arching her back and running her hands down-
“Don’t look at the top right!” Sirius blurted out.
“Urk,” Remus said.
Peter gulped and began to babble, “Blondes, blondes, blondes. Blondes with big tits. Not redheads.”
“Montrose Magpies,” Remus offered. “In the showers. Hot showers.”
“Alone with the Holyhead Harpies,” Peter added. “Which of the Magpies?”
“Er,” Remus muttered and elbowed Sirius. “Your turn, Pads.”
Remus Lupin under Brighton pier, Sirius thought and blinked. Did I just- Bugger Prongs, the dirty stalker.
They were still looking at him. He shrugged and said, “We should burn that one. Or she will find it. Fate, that sort of thing. Always happens. Could be messy.”
“Yeah,” Peter said dreamily and Sirius edged away slightly only to find himself pressed against Remus. He jumped and said, “Right.”
“What?” Peter said. “It’s still your turn. Spill.”
Prongs, Sirius thought desperately, Come back. All is forgiven.
“Sirius?” That was Remus, propped up on an elbow and frowning down at him.
“That’s the thing,” Sirius said. “I was thinking. About my mum-”
“And you said I gave too much information!”
“Not like that! I meant not having to worry about her reacting. Because she’d either disapprove which would be great, except I get sick of Howlers. Or she’d approve which would be bad because she’d expect me to marry them. Only now, it doesn’t matter. I could go down into the common room and shout ‘Come and shag me’ and then do whoever threw themselves at me first and it wouldn’t matter.”
There was a stunned silence. Then Remus said, “Your ego is terrifying.”
“Bet it would work for him, though,” Peter said wistfully. “And I don’t see how you can imply I’m perverted after that.”
“You are a pervert, Pete. Just because he has more issues doesn’t mean yours have vanished.”
“Aren’t you happy for me?” Sirius asked, a little hurt. He was sensitive about their sex lives, wasn’t he? Even if Wormtail was a freak.
“Yeah,” Peter said cautiously.
“Course we are, Padfoot,” Remus said, sounding a little more convincing.
That was good enough for him. He bounced up, grabbing both their heads in an arm lock. “Great! Let’s have an orgy!”
Peter screamed like a girl and threw himself off the bed. Remus froze.
“What?” Sirius said indignantly. “We’ll invite some blondes for you.”
“Moony! Stop him!”
“Me? Why me?”
“He listens to you.”
“Do I?” Sirius asked even as Remus said, “He does?”
“Yes! No orgies!”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t seriously expect people to accept that sort of invitation!” Remus exclaimed.
“Why not?”
“We’ll never have any points again.”
“I don’t care,” Sirius muttered, flopping back on James’ pillows. He turned a pleading look on Remus. “Moony. I don’t want to die a virgin.”
Remus squawked and dived away to join Peter on the floor.
Sirius, deserted and betrayed, leant over to glare at them. “Are you two having fun down there? Because, y’know, it was my idea and I’m feeling left out- Wormtail?”
Peter had dashed to the furthest point of his own bed and was holding his squashed up blankets before him like a shield.
“No orgy, Padfoot,” Remus said firmly.
“But-”
“Wait until Prongs gets back. If you still want one, we’ll discuss it again.”
“Yeah,” Peter said. “We can’t have an orgy without Prongs. Did I just say that?”
“Afraid so,” Remus said and pulled himself up. “Go to bed, Sirius. Before you have any more bright ideas, please.”
He leant over to blow out the candle by James’ bed but Sirius didn’t move. “Might stay here,” he muttered. “Guard it.”
“If you intend to wank over Lily, remember we’ll be able to blackmail you forever.”
“Not my type,” Sirius said loftily. “Night, all.”
“G’night, you freak. Night, Moony.”
“Good night, Peter. Night, Sirius. Don’t do anything stupid in your dreams.”
Rating: PG-13 (for language and sexual references)
Disclaimer: They're not mine *pouts*. I'm just borrowing them.
Wordcount: 1390
Prompt: Rumpled blankets.
Notes: Pre-slash. Sixth year. The dormitory seems strange without James. (Minor disclaimer: Please note that I am not, nor have ever been, a teenage boy and have thankfully never heard such creatures discuss sex. So forgive anything which doesn't ring true)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
The house elves had made James’ bed. The red blanket was straight. The corners were neat. The pillows were perfectly plumped and aligned with the edge of the mattress.
It was wrong. As far as he was concerned there were certain inalterable truths in the world and one of them was that Prongs and neat beds did not combine.
“Is everyone else still awake?” he asked loudly.
“Only because you won’t shut up,” groaned Peter.
“Yes,” Remus said quietly.
Sirius glared at him. He had the covers up around his neck again and had turned his back. Which was code for ‘Remus Lupin does not want to talk.’ Which meant that he was still fussing about yesterday. Which was also wrong.
Sirius sighed and threw himself back onto his pillows. “You two are crap. I want Prongs back.”
“You’re crap,” Peter retorted sleepily. “Go and get flu, then.”
Remus dragged the blankets over his head.
Sirius looked from him to Peter, who was blinking at him, and threw his hands into the air. Rolling out of bed, he stalked over to glare at James’ pristine bed. “Do you know what I’m going to do? I am going to bounce on Prongs’ bed.”
“Why?” Peter asked.
“Because it shouldn’t be neat. We have a sacred duty to keep his stuff as he’d like it. If he dies, he’ll be back here to haunt you, you’ll see. He’ll hang over your bed, moaning, Wormtail, Wormtail, you failed me! You let them make my bed! Ooooooo!”
Peter dodged him and said, “But James isn’t going to die?”
“No,” Remus said. “He’s only got it lightly. And he wouldn’t haunt you, Pete.”
“I don’t deserve to be haunted,” Sirius pointed out. “And you’re boring.”
Remus retreated under his blankets again. “He’d haunt the girls’ bathroom, you twat.”
Some people, Sirius thought sourly, were just too clever for their own good. He cast a baleful glare at Remus’ blanket-obscured back and heaved himself onto James’ bed. He hurled himself backwards, throwing his arms out for maximum blanket-rumpling effect. Then he looked up.
“Bloody hell! The dirty bastard. Come and look at this, lads.”
Peter was there immediately and after a moment Remus joined them, perching on the edge of the bed. They both looked up.
There was a moment’s silence.
Then Remus said, “Looks like he’s already haunting the girls’ bathroom.”
Peter, hoarse with awe, added, “No wonder he wanks all the time.”
“Evans will kill him if she ever finds out,” Sirius contributed.
They all went back to staring at the photographs pinned to the canopy above them. All were of Lily Evans, in the common room, by the lake, in bed, getting undressed, in the bath . Most were blurry, as if taken from behind something clear and-
“Fuck!” Sirius yelped. “I’ve touched that cloak.”
Remus twitched beside him and Peter said wistfully, “Well, if you’ve got it, use it.”
The other two sat up to stare at him and he said hurriedly, “Not that I would. Don’t like redheads.”
“Yeah, right,” Remus said.
“I don’t!”
“Angela Mainwaring?” Remus asked.
“Alright. I don’t like Evans - don’t fancy her, I mean. Nice girl. I prefer blondes.”
“Only because you’re scared of Prongs.”
Sirius, who was thinking, let the argument roll over him. It was beginning to occur to him that there was more than one reason to be glad he’d left home. He’d been thinking about it as he burnt that morning’s letter, about all the little things that were no longer his mother’s business. He hadn’t thought of this one until now.
“At least I never stared at Sturgis Podmore’s bum!” Peter said, a little shrilly.
“I did not!” Remus sat up and Sirius reached out absently and grabbed his wrist before he fled. Then he registered what he’d just heard and said, “Podmore?”
“No!”
“Did too,” Peter said. “Come on, everyone knows I’m the only straight and normal one in this dorm.”
“Make that subnormal and shut up,” Sirius said.
“You like to go rat and run up girls’ legs,” Remus flung over him.
“They smell good!”
There was another silence and Remus said, rather shakily, “Too much information, Wormtail. And James is straight.”
“Oy,” Sirius said.
“Nah,” Peter said wisely. “He’s Lilysexual.”
They all pondered that. Sirius, who was still mulling over his latest revelation, studied the photographs above him. Several of them were moving: Lily running down the corridor, Lily sighing in her sleep, Lily in the bath, arching her back and running her hands down-
“Don’t look at the top right!” Sirius blurted out.
“Urk,” Remus said.
Peter gulped and began to babble, “Blondes, blondes, blondes. Blondes with big tits. Not redheads.”
“Montrose Magpies,” Remus offered. “In the showers. Hot showers.”
“Alone with the Holyhead Harpies,” Peter added. “Which of the Magpies?”
“Er,” Remus muttered and elbowed Sirius. “Your turn, Pads.”
Remus Lupin under Brighton pier, Sirius thought and blinked. Did I just- Bugger Prongs, the dirty stalker.
They were still looking at him. He shrugged and said, “We should burn that one. Or she will find it. Fate, that sort of thing. Always happens. Could be messy.”
“Yeah,” Peter said dreamily and Sirius edged away slightly only to find himself pressed against Remus. He jumped and said, “Right.”
“What?” Peter said. “It’s still your turn. Spill.”
Prongs, Sirius thought desperately, Come back. All is forgiven.
“Sirius?” That was Remus, propped up on an elbow and frowning down at him.
“That’s the thing,” Sirius said. “I was thinking. About my mum-”
“And you said I gave too much information!”
“Not like that! I meant not having to worry about her reacting. Because she’d either disapprove which would be great, except I get sick of Howlers. Or she’d approve which would be bad because she’d expect me to marry them. Only now, it doesn’t matter. I could go down into the common room and shout ‘Come and shag me’ and then do whoever threw themselves at me first and it wouldn’t matter.”
There was a stunned silence. Then Remus said, “Your ego is terrifying.”
“Bet it would work for him, though,” Peter said wistfully. “And I don’t see how you can imply I’m perverted after that.”
“You are a pervert, Pete. Just because he has more issues doesn’t mean yours have vanished.”
“Aren’t you happy for me?” Sirius asked, a little hurt. He was sensitive about their sex lives, wasn’t he? Even if Wormtail was a freak.
“Yeah,” Peter said cautiously.
“Course we are, Padfoot,” Remus said, sounding a little more convincing.
That was good enough for him. He bounced up, grabbing both their heads in an arm lock. “Great! Let’s have an orgy!”
Peter screamed like a girl and threw himself off the bed. Remus froze.
“What?” Sirius said indignantly. “We’ll invite some blondes for you.”
“Moony! Stop him!”
“Me? Why me?”
“He listens to you.”
“Do I?” Sirius asked even as Remus said, “He does?”
“Yes! No orgies!”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t seriously expect people to accept that sort of invitation!” Remus exclaimed.
“Why not?”
“We’ll never have any points again.”
“I don’t care,” Sirius muttered, flopping back on James’ pillows. He turned a pleading look on Remus. “Moony. I don’t want to die a virgin.”
Remus squawked and dived away to join Peter on the floor.
Sirius, deserted and betrayed, leant over to glare at them. “Are you two having fun down there? Because, y’know, it was my idea and I’m feeling left out- Wormtail?”
Peter had dashed to the furthest point of his own bed and was holding his squashed up blankets before him like a shield.
“No orgy, Padfoot,” Remus said firmly.
“But-”
“Wait until Prongs gets back. If you still want one, we’ll discuss it again.”
“Yeah,” Peter said. “We can’t have an orgy without Prongs. Did I just say that?”
“Afraid so,” Remus said and pulled himself up. “Go to bed, Sirius. Before you have any more bright ideas, please.”
He leant over to blow out the candle by James’ bed but Sirius didn’t move. “Might stay here,” he muttered. “Guard it.”
“If you intend to wank over Lily, remember we’ll be able to blackmail you forever.”
“Not my type,” Sirius said loftily. “Night, all.”
“G’night, you freak. Night, Moony.”
“Good night, Peter. Night, Sirius. Don’t do anything stupid in your dreams.”