(no subject)
Wednesday night....
I finish my guitar lesson and M, my teacher, and I are talking about nothing in particular. I slowly replace my guitar in its case and button up my jacket. M doesn't seem to notice, but he walks to the door. However, the conversation continues and he opens and closes it five times.
I like this guy which isn't surprising. He is my type range tall, dark hair, blue eyes, smart, funny musician. I want to spend time with without him telling me that I need to practice changing from the G to D chord. I want to leave our guitars in their cases and escape the confines of this apartment to go out to dinner, have a beer or go for walk. I want to get to know him better and see if there is anything between us beyond static attraction and light, sarcastic, engaging banter.
This has been going on for months. At first, it is a fun crush which amuses me, but starts to to deepen when he flirts back. Then, one day, I arrive at a lesson and a girl is sitting on his living room couch watching TV. M awkwardly introduced her as his girlfriend, a fact he has failed to mention during the month and half we've know each other. She mumbles hello with a fake smile and looks me over with suspicious eyes. She disappeared into his bedroom as my lesson begins. I play badly and M is uncomfortable, impatient and critical of my progress. When the lesson ends, I give him his money and leave without saying goodbye. .
The lessons continue and my playing slowly improves. Summer comes and he mentions one day that him and his girlfriend are having problems. This fact doesn't surprise me, since every lesson I have she is there and clearly not happy. With our guitars laying idle on our laps, I listen and offer him advice. Since we only played for a half an hour, he charges me $15.00 for that lesson and emails me later to apologize and promises to be more professional in the future.
In July, our flirtation increases. He calls and asks me out on a date. His behavior both excites and annoys me. I am happy my interest in him is reciprocated, but I won't allow myself to do anything about it. My morals and need for good karma dictates: a man with a girlfriend is off-limits. I call him and tell him his behavior is inappropriate. He tells me he likes me, doesn't love her, but wants to stay in the relationship because 'she is trying.' I say nothing, but tell him he needs to back off. He agrees and apologizes yet again. Our relationship goes back to 'normal.'
In September, they break up. The only reason I know is because he looks exhausted and drained and mentions having a 'bad two weeks.' I don't press for details, but notice the picture of him and a girlfriend on the living room wall has been removed. The picture hook is left bare.
A few weeks later, he finally tells me their relationship is over. He asks me out again, but I decline because I have plans. Again, we tentative make plans for the following weekend, but he never calls.
Tonight is the first lesson after he asked me out. We're standing at the door, but our conversation keeps flowing. I don't want to leave and don't think he wants me to leave. I feel the attraction buzzing around us.
I am waiting for something to happen.
Our eyes lock and there is a lull in the conversation.
I will him to say something, anything...
I feel goose bumps rise to the surface of my skin.
I have no plans this weekend. Ask me out !
The tension between us is giving me pins and needles.
Pull close and kiss me. Do something!
The seconds tick by. He says nothings, but holds my gaze. I am conscious that the growing anticipation and excitement between us is quickly melting away and we are merely two people who have run out of things to say.
I take my exit and tell him I will see him next week. As I walk out toward my car, my mind plays romantic comedy scenarios of him running after me, declaring he likes me (love is a bit over-dramatic here) and giving me a mind-blowing kiss...
Needless to say, I walk to my car and drive home with incident. I call my mother for some practical advice and tough love. My mother sagely tells me he is playing games. Therefore, I should not call him. He should have to work for my affections. If I start dating him now, I will indeed be a rebound. Finally, I have two choices: find another guitar teacher or ignore the situation and hope it goes away….
Although I haven't made my mind up yet, most likely I am getting a new guitar teacher.
Everything else remains the same, minus the drama. I am moving on, yet again….