god rest ye merry gentlemen
well i was planning to use livejournal as an outlet to kind of get all my feelings about tufts, and the past few weeks in general, out and systemized. but honestly im kinda tired.
so this will not be a vey systematic breakdown of the past week. but i should probably write about it anyway. and this is more for me to just get it out of my system so dont feel obligated to read it. skimming is how i usually read entries like this.
now i feel kind of at a loss in terms of what to say. ive actually reached a pretty good place concerning tufts. i mean as good as you can get when you dont get what you want.
i was definitely disappointed. i found out early, tuesday evening and my first feeling was just being totally unprepared. i think it was better that way though, kind of like ripping a bandaid off really fast. cass took me out for hot chocolate (which i very much appreciated) and afterwards i had a nice little breakdown.
i think it was mostly just the immense amount of stress and emotion that had surrounded the past couple weeks that really hit me. it wasnt a rejection and i still have a shot and im very glad of that, i think a big part of it was the disappointment that i didnt get to have that feeling of being in early and having that stress lifted.
it took a couple days to get through the extreme disappointment and denial and then anger, but i did. and after hearing about so many people getting rejected, it puts getting deferred a bit more in persepctive.
and all i want to do now is get all my apps and forms and stuff in before vaca and then not think about it for a little while. i know once march swings around ill start stressing again because lets face it thats just how im wired. but for now, dec. 15 is over and i survived, and ill just have to wait and see what happens next.
and christmas is coming, and im rereading harry potter, and the patriots beat the bucs 28-0 yesterday, and today the colts lost FINALLY, and things are just going.
so thats that.
so this will not be a vey systematic breakdown of the past week. but i should probably write about it anyway. and this is more for me to just get it out of my system so dont feel obligated to read it. skimming is how i usually read entries like this.
now i feel kind of at a loss in terms of what to say. ive actually reached a pretty good place concerning tufts. i mean as good as you can get when you dont get what you want.
i was definitely disappointed. i found out early, tuesday evening and my first feeling was just being totally unprepared. i think it was better that way though, kind of like ripping a bandaid off really fast. cass took me out for hot chocolate (which i very much appreciated) and afterwards i had a nice little breakdown.
i think it was mostly just the immense amount of stress and emotion that had surrounded the past couple weeks that really hit me. it wasnt a rejection and i still have a shot and im very glad of that, i think a big part of it was the disappointment that i didnt get to have that feeling of being in early and having that stress lifted.
it took a couple days to get through the extreme disappointment and denial and then anger, but i did. and after hearing about so many people getting rejected, it puts getting deferred a bit more in persepctive.
and all i want to do now is get all my apps and forms and stuff in before vaca and then not think about it for a little while. i know once march swings around ill start stressing again because lets face it thats just how im wired. but for now, dec. 15 is over and i survived, and ill just have to wait and see what happens next.
and christmas is coming, and im rereading harry potter, and the patriots beat the bucs 28-0 yesterday, and today the colts lost FINALLY, and things are just going.
so thats that.