(no subject)
i barely even cried. i mostly just sat there shaking. i threw up. ive never felt so numb and depressed. but the service was the most beautiful thing ive seen. ive never seen so many people care about one person. the entire church was packed. i dont know how they get up in the morning. i couldnt stand seeing them there. having to hear them cry and sob. seeing him so numb hurt me so bad. hes usually so happy-he usually the one cheering me up. he couldnt even stand. its not fair.
couldnt stop crying once i got in my car. i dont even know why im crying actually. partly because of today. but mostly cuz of other shit. realizing how lonely and pathetic i am. havent stopped crying. i shouldnt be home alone right now. but i cant stand being around people either. why do i get so upset over fucking nothing.
i think im going to just dig myself a hole and sit in it for awhile. no one would notice anyway. im actually thrilled about school on monday. thrilled. i need a break from myself.
couldnt stop crying once i got in my car. i dont even know why im crying actually. partly because of today. but mostly cuz of other shit. realizing how lonely and pathetic i am. havent stopped crying. i shouldnt be home alone right now. but i cant stand being around people either. why do i get so upset over fucking nothing.
i think im going to just dig myself a hole and sit in it for awhile. no one would notice anyway. im actually thrilled about school on monday. thrilled. i need a break from myself.