Randomness.
You know how messed up I am? Yesterday I thought it was Friday. Today I thought it was Wednesday. It's really weird.
I am also constantly tired. For the last week, I've made a conscious effort to get to bed at 10, 10:15 at the latest. But it hasn't made any difference whatsoever. So last night I just said fuck it and watched Survivor and CSI, and then did my homework until midnight.
In psych we talk about the effect of stress on your body and your mind... similar to the way we talk about drugs and their effects. Slightly unsettling. Especially to someone like me. I wish I had time to take some yoga classes. Reduce stress and get more physically fit. Get some exercise. Feel better about the way I take care of my body. Get those endorphins flowing (thanks Mrs. Molloy). But if I "made" time to take those classes, etc... I'd just be adding more stress by squeezing it into my unforgiving schedule. It's a vicious cycle.
I know I don't take care of myself. It pains me. Besides bad eating habits and lack of exercise regime. All this stress can't be healthy. I fear that one day it will come back to bite me hard in the ass, and really take its toll.
So there's this song called "When She Danced" in this highly unsuccessful musical struggling to survive on Broadway at the moment.
When she danced
She was just this little happy ballerina
When she danced
She felt the earth move underneath her feet
Stars came down from the heavens
Just to stop a while and watch her
When she danced
When she danced
When she danced
All her insecurities went out the window
She was brave
And noble, she was standing 10 feet tall
Daring fate to step in
And try to stop the music
She won't fail
She won't fall
When she danced
And this feeling never left her heart completely
Like the sun can hide but never leaves the sky
Not in her wildest dreams
Would fate have sealed her dreams
And wrap them and ship them out
And send them all to sleep
I have no idea in what context it occurs in the show, which character sings it, nothing. The other songs I've heard are terrible, but this one hits my heart so squarely, so strongly, that every time I listen I close my eyes, and I feel the emotion. I feel the thrill. I feel the awe. Maybe it's because I'm a dancer? I don't know. "When she danced / all her insecurities went out the window" It speaks directly to my heart, so loudly, so clearly. This stretches beyond dance. Anyone who does anything that they love, that thing or activity that completes them and makes them feel alive and whole, can relate. Just substitute "danced" for "acted" or "painted" or "played field hockey".
I've been singing it constantly.
I'm going into Philly tonight. To have a date with my daddy. Cute, huh? Dinner and a show. It should be fun. If I can get out of my head all the other productive things I could be doing with my time.
When the thing that is closest to my heart and makes me happier than almost anything -- going to the theatre -- can't quell my constant worries and stresses... clearly, there is a problem.
I am also constantly tired. For the last week, I've made a conscious effort to get to bed at 10, 10:15 at the latest. But it hasn't made any difference whatsoever. So last night I just said fuck it and watched Survivor and CSI, and then did my homework until midnight.
In psych we talk about the effect of stress on your body and your mind... similar to the way we talk about drugs and their effects. Slightly unsettling. Especially to someone like me. I wish I had time to take some yoga classes. Reduce stress and get more physically fit. Get some exercise. Feel better about the way I take care of my body. Get those endorphins flowing (thanks Mrs. Molloy). But if I "made" time to take those classes, etc... I'd just be adding more stress by squeezing it into my unforgiving schedule. It's a vicious cycle.
I know I don't take care of myself. It pains me. Besides bad eating habits and lack of exercise regime. All this stress can't be healthy. I fear that one day it will come back to bite me hard in the ass, and really take its toll.
So there's this song called "When She Danced" in this highly unsuccessful musical struggling to survive on Broadway at the moment.
When she danced
She was just this little happy ballerina
When she danced
She felt the earth move underneath her feet
Stars came down from the heavens
Just to stop a while and watch her
When she danced
When she danced
When she danced
All her insecurities went out the window
She was brave
And noble, she was standing 10 feet tall
Daring fate to step in
And try to stop the music
She won't fail
She won't fall
When she danced
And this feeling never left her heart completely
Like the sun can hide but never leaves the sky
Not in her wildest dreams
Would fate have sealed her dreams
And wrap them and ship them out
And send them all to sleep
I have no idea in what context it occurs in the show, which character sings it, nothing. The other songs I've heard are terrible, but this one hits my heart so squarely, so strongly, that every time I listen I close my eyes, and I feel the emotion. I feel the thrill. I feel the awe. Maybe it's because I'm a dancer? I don't know. "When she danced / all her insecurities went out the window" It speaks directly to my heart, so loudly, so clearly. This stretches beyond dance. Anyone who does anything that they love, that thing or activity that completes them and makes them feel alive and whole, can relate. Just substitute "danced" for "acted" or "painted" or "played field hockey".
I've been singing it constantly.
I'm going into Philly tonight. To have a date with my daddy. Cute, huh? Dinner and a show. It should be fun. If I can get out of my head all the other productive things I could be doing with my time.
When the thing that is closest to my heart and makes me happier than almost anything -- going to the theatre -- can't quell my constant worries and stresses... clearly, there is a problem.