ughhh
i no i havent written in a while.... and so much has happened. theres no point going into detail.... seeing as everyone already knows what happened on that infamous half day in the life of ayesha bhagat. but honestly.... right now im in the most pissed off mood, not knowing what the hell to do with myself.... and all i can do is rant. so get ready....
1. while i have never been happier to be sick at home with a fever.... seeing as my chem test is tomro..... and now i wont have to take it, or even study for it for that matter, im still mad im not going to school. this means im going to have to wast friday lunch taking, and im going to have to study really hard, seeing as theres nobody to cheat off of.... and my "christian todier text messaging me the answers from the room across the hall" landed me with a 67..... im gonna have to fend for myself on this one.
2. im mad about missing swimming today. ive been missing so much, and it just makes me feel so gross and useless. swimming is something ive loved to do competitively for the last 7 years, and i feel like this year ive barely improved at all, due to the fact that i have put minimal comittment into it.
3. i miss CAT.... doing the show brought me so much closer to so many people. after being so heavily involved in it for the last 2 months, life feels empty.
4. im sick and tired of being grounded. and my father. and my mother. how much fucking longer do i have to put up with this shit???/ it's been like over a month.... and im sick and tired of it. all in all. it sucks.
5. i was really happy about being invited to semi. and i REALLY want to go. im just not being able to deal with a certain party at the moment... im not quite sure why.... oh wait yes i do.... I FUCK EVERYTHING UP... any time somethings going well.... i always have to go and screw it over. i can only hope that i dont screw this over too. ugh.... me being irritating and immature. i cant even deal with my self right now. im just so confused.
6. im sick of bad grades. i let one quarter slide.... and now im stuck, unable to pick myself back up. im going to end up at CUNY... making a pathetic salary.... having no hot boyfriend..... forced to shop at boltons. this is really the utlimate in hell. that is my worst nightmare.... and i need to save myself from it RIGHT NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
7. my dad called me a fat ox.... im not even joking.... i was sitting in my room, minding my own business, learning about fellatio and cunnilingus for my health test.... and my dad comes and goes "WHAT ARE U DOING" and im like "uhhhh studying???" and hes like "no, whats that ur eating" and i go "an eclair?" and then he spazzes out on me about how i have terrible eating habits, im a compulsive eater, and how im going to be "an amazon" by the time im 40. that and im turning into a fat ox.
why is everything falling apart??? i need everything to come back together. i wish i could shut my eyes and count to 5 and have everything be ok again.
mwaz
1. while i have never been happier to be sick at home with a fever.... seeing as my chem test is tomro..... and now i wont have to take it, or even study for it for that matter, im still mad im not going to school. this means im going to have to wast friday lunch taking, and im going to have to study really hard, seeing as theres nobody to cheat off of.... and my "christian todier text messaging me the answers from the room across the hall" landed me with a 67..... im gonna have to fend for myself on this one.
2. im mad about missing swimming today. ive been missing so much, and it just makes me feel so gross and useless. swimming is something ive loved to do competitively for the last 7 years, and i feel like this year ive barely improved at all, due to the fact that i have put minimal comittment into it.
3. i miss CAT.... doing the show brought me so much closer to so many people. after being so heavily involved in it for the last 2 months, life feels empty.
4. im sick and tired of being grounded. and my father. and my mother. how much fucking longer do i have to put up with this shit???/ it's been like over a month.... and im sick and tired of it. all in all. it sucks.
5. i was really happy about being invited to semi. and i REALLY want to go. im just not being able to deal with a certain party at the moment... im not quite sure why.... oh wait yes i do.... I FUCK EVERYTHING UP... any time somethings going well.... i always have to go and screw it over. i can only hope that i dont screw this over too. ugh.... me being irritating and immature. i cant even deal with my self right now. im just so confused.
6. im sick of bad grades. i let one quarter slide.... and now im stuck, unable to pick myself back up. im going to end up at CUNY... making a pathetic salary.... having no hot boyfriend..... forced to shop at boltons. this is really the utlimate in hell. that is my worst nightmare.... and i need to save myself from it RIGHT NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
7. my dad called me a fat ox.... im not even joking.... i was sitting in my room, minding my own business, learning about fellatio and cunnilingus for my health test.... and my dad comes and goes "WHAT ARE U DOING" and im like "uhhhh studying???" and hes like "no, whats that ur eating" and i go "an eclair?" and then he spazzes out on me about how i have terrible eating habits, im a compulsive eater, and how im going to be "an amazon" by the time im 40. that and im turning into a fat ox.
why is everything falling apart??? i need everything to come back together. i wish i could shut my eyes and count to 5 and have everything be ok again.
mwaz