o119; sweet child of mine | voice
Private | Not on NetworkOne by one, they find their ways home. Made beds, scripted notes. Always the same. I should feel happy when they do, and it's always a reminder that I'm still here, unable to go with them, unable to live beyond what is here.
I'm not even sure I have the energy to cry for her loss-- she's with her mothers now, isn't she? But there's still Cain, who has been here for as long as I have, who has suffered, believed, comforted in the same way she did. But she was the reminder of a life I could never have at all.
Is this what this place considers preparation for departure? Riff left as well, and I couldn't show my tears before him, as he clung to me and shook in rage-- Perhaps my time is coming close as well? I hardly have much keeping me here, and yet--
-- damn it. Damn it all, I knew it wouldn't be possible, then why did I--
Vivio, I miss you so much. I wish I could have gone with you.
Bloody hell.
Who do I even have, now? Axl's never going to come here again, Vivio's gone, Guy belongs to Natalia's world-- what hope do I have that anything will ever be the same?!
[ Hurting so badly, but. As always, no one will ever know. ): Kind of. ]
/Private
voice;
[ A soft sigh, then she begins to talk. Her voice is shaky, but she's keeping herself composed so it's not too noticeable. ]
For those who knew her, Vivio has managed to go home. It's been a few days, but I wasn't in much of a state to say much on it. It-- probably oughtn't have been the shock that it was, having been here for as long as we've had, but it doesn't make it any easier, does it? To see friends go, to not know if they'll ever return again, or even know you? All those at Hymns of Lorelei-- please remember her, for you all made her stay here ever so happy.
Vivio had lived with me, as a little child when she first arrived here. I raised her for a bit with-- [ A pause, she sounds slightly confused, but then she continues. After all, she traded away her memories of Light, who Vivio used to call Light-papa back in the day. ]-- well, that doesn't matter, I suppose. She'd been here, for over two years. And perhaps I want to speak of it because it's so important to remember that no matter how strong the bonds, we cannot trick reality here and go where we can't. In my case, I lost something of my family-- and maybe she'll remember, maybe she won't. And I wonder how much of it will have mattered, in the end. Sad, isn't it?
[ She sighs-- knowing she oughtn't be talking of this, but it's an outlet. ]
It coincided ever so oddly with that... strange feeling I was having as well. It's becoming harder to tell when something is a curse and something isn't.
I'll be returning to work at the hospital tomorrow, myself. I'm sorry-- it was selfish of me to have asked for my assistant to cover out of the blue, but there was... a lot to handle, in these last few days. A lot of things better than having to put up with these curses. And to whoever sent me the chocolates-- ah. If you were trying to kill me, it nearly worked. Thank you, I suppose. They were... interesting, if you will.
[ A breath. She sounds mildly better. ]
I've been hearing talk about a Valentine's Day event. With the hope that there are no curses then-- compared to what we had recently, it would be really nice to have something with music, and to welcome all the newcomers here, right? I'd be glad to help in organization, as well.
It's all I can do, now. I can't continue feeling sorry for myself.
/voice
[ooc; it's finally sinking in. ):. And shadow world is just for reference, not IC! She needs a lot of cheering up ): Girls party planning, anyone? /eyes Natalia ]
I'm not even sure I have the energy to cry for her loss-- she's with her mothers now, isn't she? But there's still Cain, who has been here for as long as I have, who has suffered, believed, comforted in the same way she did. But she was the reminder of a life I could never have at all.
Is this what this place considers preparation for departure? Riff left as well, and I couldn't show my tears before him, as he clung to me and shook in rage-- Perhaps my time is coming close as well? I hardly have much keeping me here, and yet--
-- damn it. Damn it all, I knew it wouldn't be possible, then why did I--
Vivio, I miss you so much. I wish I could have gone with you.
Bloody hell.
Who do I even have, now? Axl's never going to come here again, Vivio's gone, Guy belongs to Natalia's world-- what hope do I have that anything will ever be the same?!
[ Hurting so badly, but. As always, no one will ever know. ): Kind of. ]
/Private
voice;
[ A soft sigh, then she begins to talk. Her voice is shaky, but she's keeping herself composed so it's not too noticeable. ]
For those who knew her, Vivio has managed to go home. It's been a few days, but I wasn't in much of a state to say much on it. It-- probably oughtn't have been the shock that it was, having been here for as long as we've had, but it doesn't make it any easier, does it? To see friends go, to not know if they'll ever return again, or even know you? All those at Hymns of Lorelei-- please remember her, for you all made her stay here ever so happy.
Vivio had lived with me, as a little child when she first arrived here. I raised her for a bit with-- [ A pause, she sounds slightly confused, but then she continues. After all, she traded away her memories of Light, who Vivio used to call Light-papa back in the day. ]-- well, that doesn't matter, I suppose. She'd been here, for over two years. And perhaps I want to speak of it because it's so important to remember that no matter how strong the bonds, we cannot trick reality here and go where we can't. In my case, I lost something of my family-- and maybe she'll remember, maybe she won't. And I wonder how much of it will have mattered, in the end. Sad, isn't it?
[ She sighs-- knowing she oughtn't be talking of this, but it's an outlet. ]
It coincided ever so oddly with that... strange feeling I was having as well. It's becoming harder to tell when something is a curse and something isn't.
I'll be returning to work at the hospital tomorrow, myself. I'm sorry-- it was selfish of me to have asked for my assistant to cover out of the blue, but there was... a lot to handle, in these last few days. A lot of things better than having to put up with these curses. And to whoever sent me the chocolates-- ah. If you were trying to kill me, it nearly worked. Thank you, I suppose. They were... interesting, if you will.
[ A breath. She sounds mildly better. ]
I've been hearing talk about a Valentine's Day event. With the hope that there are no curses then-- compared to what we had recently, it would be really nice to have something with music, and to welcome all the newcomers here, right? I'd be glad to help in organization, as well.
It's all I can do, now. I can't continue feeling sorry for myself.
/voice
[ooc; it's finally sinking in. ):. And shadow world is just for reference, not IC! She needs a lot of cheering up ): Girls party planning, anyone? /eyes Natalia ]