o67; [ filtered from delilah & known milennium ]
Nathaniel Hawthorne, wasn't it? The Scarlet Letter. It was a sad book, I recall. I missed this one... thankfully.
I wonder what I would have been...
private | unhackable
I wonder if I have just become jaded, or if I've really stopped caring. I've stepped into the darkness and I'm not even sure I have my light to draw me out. But at least... I'm no longer one of them, right..?
I have my friends. I have their hope, and I have mine. So long as I hold on to it, no power in the world will tear me down. But it doesn't stop the feeling of worthlessness. Of knowing that you show people one thing, but you're really another.
I thought I would cry. I thought I would feel sick at myself, but that was easily thwarted. Dancing at the fingertips of others, isn't that what we all are? Slaves to those we care for, willingly so as well. I suppose my situation was a little more than literal, heh. It was for a good purpose, and we have that sinner down. He won't hurt anyone else.
He won't do what he did to me. Then why am I still so fearful... why does it feel like something is being forgotten? It was too easy... or we just had a great advantage.
I was alone in the water. Washing away those feelings of impurity, of disgust... because I need to be strong. I can't burden anyone again.
Yet there's no denying how easily my powers were used yet again...
Mm. For now I will treat it as though it is over for good. There are others I need to help. And sitting around feeling sorry for what has passed isn't going to do them any good.
Who do I trust with myself anymore? It's scary like this.
I wish I could just go home. Back to the way things were... but it's so strange, I... feel like this place has been more of a home to me than anything. I feel like I'm forgetting... But Axl... you I'll never forget. So just find me. I'll be here. I promise...
I hope I'm still the Megumi you'd want.
...
That's enough of that. It's... time to walk into the light again. That's what Axl would do. So I will as well. The music will take us there.
/private
I'm going to be away for a bit of training at the lake. I'll just be a few days. That's kind of... why I was away for a while too. Vivio... I'll have you back soon. I hope Guy and A.B.A are ready.
But I can still be reached! So I'll keep in touch! Ah, Daryan, guess I'll see you there, alright?
I can't wait to see the lake now. It looks wonderful during the full moon phases...
I'll be going tonight. So I'll be doing my errands as normal until then. Don't keep me out of the loop! Heh~ I'm just hoping October won't be as scary as it was last year. I'd really like to have a Halloween gathering! It's my favorite part of the month! I wonder what costume to make this time...
[ooc; So uh, log's still in progress, but there was some success in the capture of Alexis? And after she's back, Vivio rescue will happen, so that's something to look forward to-- and then familytiems! Commentlog for home and later with Daryan, and journal otherwise! ]
I wonder what I would have been...
private | unhackable
I wonder if I have just become jaded, or if I've really stopped caring. I've stepped into the darkness and I'm not even sure I have my light to draw me out. But at least... I'm no longer one of them, right..?
I have my friends. I have their hope, and I have mine. So long as I hold on to it, no power in the world will tear me down. But it doesn't stop the feeling of worthlessness. Of knowing that you show people one thing, but you're really another.
I thought I would cry. I thought I would feel sick at myself, but that was easily thwarted. Dancing at the fingertips of others, isn't that what we all are? Slaves to those we care for, willingly so as well. I suppose my situation was a little more than literal, heh. It was for a good purpose, and we have that sinner down. He won't hurt anyone else.
He won't do what he did to me. Then why am I still so fearful... why does it feel like something is being forgotten? It was too easy... or we just had a great advantage.
I was alone in the water. Washing away those feelings of impurity, of disgust... because I need to be strong. I can't burden anyone again.
Yet there's no denying how easily my powers were used yet again...
Mm. For now I will treat it as though it is over for good. There are others I need to help. And sitting around feeling sorry for what has passed isn't going to do them any good.
Who do I trust with myself anymore? It's scary like this.
I wish I could just go home. Back to the way things were... but it's so strange, I... feel like this place has been more of a home to me than anything. I feel like I'm forgetting... But Axl... you I'll never forget. So just find me. I'll be here. I promise...
I hope I'm still the Megumi you'd want.
...
That's enough of that. It's... time to walk into the light again. That's what Axl would do. So I will as well. The music will take us there.
/private
I'm going to be away for a bit of training at the lake. I'll just be a few days. That's kind of... why I was away for a while too. Vivio... I'll have you back soon. I hope Guy and A.B.A are ready.
But I can still be reached! So I'll keep in touch! Ah, Daryan, guess I'll see you there, alright?
I can't wait to see the lake now. It looks wonderful during the full moon phases...
I'll be going tonight. So I'll be doing my errands as normal until then. Don't keep me out of the loop! Heh~ I'm just hoping October won't be as scary as it was last year. I'd really like to have a Halloween gathering! It's my favorite part of the month! I wonder what costume to make this time...
[ooc; So uh, log's still in progress, but there was some success in the capture of Alexis? And after she's back, Vivio rescue will happen, so that's something to look forward to-- and then familytiems! Commentlog for home and later with Daryan, and journal otherwise! ]