FICLETS 3b: greencookie, fluffyllama, _lore, and jenicomrpispas
Part 3b of the celebratory ficlets. 3a is here.
Giggles- Harry Potter- Harry/Luna- G
Seeking- Harry Potter- Ron/Krum- Heavy PG-13
Between the Lions- Harry Potter- Severus/Remus- PG-13
Yes, Love?- Harry Potter- Severus/Remus- Lightish R
Title: Giggles
Rating: G
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Luna
Summary/Prompt: Cornered in an unbelievable situation, Harry is rescued by Luna and the most unlikely of helpers. For greencookie, who said “Harry/Luna- Let’s go, go, go!” Actually, I don’t know if that was the prompt or just encouragement to get it done, but I took it as the basis of the ficlet.
Word Count: 1120
He’d never thought it would end like this. Face-to-face with Lord Voldemort? Sure. Surrounded by enraged Death Eaters? Maybe. Accidentally but fatally maimed by some experimental, bloodthirsty creature during one of Hagrid’s classes? An outside chance. But backed up against a wall in Little Whinging, the ground around him scorched into a crumbling, stinking blackness as great tall creatures made of pure fire approached? Inconceivable!
“IMPEDIMENTA!” Harry shouted desperately, swishing his wand in a wide arc to hit as many of the creatures as possible. The spell shimmered through their insubstantial bodies without slowing them at all and Harry swore under his breath. So much for inconceivable. And so much for the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. Again.
At least eight of the fiery beings crackled forward, flames leaping from what Harry thought must have been their hands, burning the ground they surged over. Sweat poured down Harry’s face. He thought that this must be what hell looked like, what hell felt like, and despite the heat a shiver rolled through his body. He cast about desperately, trying to remember any charm or jinx that might slow their progress, just long enough for some bloody person on the street to notice that he was about to be unceremoniously flambéed.
“GLACIALUM!” he shouted. The creatures paused for a moment but then moved closer. Where the hell was Dung or Mrs. Figg when he needed them?
Sparks leaped from their bodies, singeing little speckles of white-hot pain into Harry’s skin. “Glacialum!” he tried again, but they dodged, their sinuous, ethereal bodies flashing out of the way as the bolt of blue energy burst past them.
He was going to faint from the heat. He was going to be incinerated to death. He was going to-
“HUMO PLUO!”
Harry and the creatures whipped around at the earthshaking voice and one of his attackers fell, buried in a deluge of water and soil. It was snuffed out, leaving nothing behind but wisps of smoke.
Harry couldn’t see his rescuer through the flames but he repeated the incantation he’d heard her shout. “Humo pluo!”
He felled two of the beings while his rescuer brought down a fourth, creating a gap large enough for Harry to hurdle through. The sight that greeted him was even stranger than the one he’d only just been faced with and he froze for a moment while his brain processed the image.
A girl, her scraggly blond hair bound up in dreadlocks, her wide eyes tracking Harry’s movements, was sitting astride the ugliest animal Harry had ever seen. It was at least five feet tall and easily double that in length, with a scaly bluish hide in armadillo-like sections and large black eyes. On its face rested a massive horn, similar to a rhinoceros' but for the fact that it was folded in on itself multiple times so that it looked like a squat, dark cabbage half.
The girl reached her hand out and Harry grabbed it, swinging himself behind her and onto the beast, his hands resting on her shoulders.
“Luna?” he gasped as she dug her heels into the animal’s side as if it were a massive and ridiculously ugly horse.
“Hang on,” she said sedately and they reared back. Harry nearly slid off, but the creature raised its spiky tail up and caught him before they galloped away. Muggles walking down the street or looking out of their windows didn’t seem to see them at all, or if they did, they were surprisingly unsurprised to witness two teenagers on the back of what looked to Harry like a mutant dinosaur. He caught a glimpse of number 4 Privet Drive before the animal launched itself in the air. For a moment all Harry could see was deep blue sky before they landed with a thud.
He looked around, jaw dropping. They were somewhere else.
“Luna?” he said, amazed.
“Yes?” she said, sliding off the beast’s back. She produced a bag of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum from her pocket and fed several chunks of gum to the animal, who began to chomp away happily, pausing occasionally to blow large, colourful bubbles.
Harry didn’t know where to begin. He just stared at her. She stared back.
“Do you like Giggles?” she asked.
“Excuse me?”
“My Crumple-Horned Snorkack,” she said, nodding toward the creature, whose bubbles were coming out in the shapes of different polyhedrons. A pyramid and a dodecahedron passed by Harry’s head.
“Um. Yes. Very nice,” Harry said. “And those fire things were-”
“Heliopaths. I told you about them last year. From Fudge’s private army.”
Harry blinked. “Fudge’s private army. Right.” He did vaguely remember Luna mentioning it. Hermione had dismissed it outright and at the time Harry had agreed with her. But now...
“Why is Fudge trying to have me killed?”
“Oh, he’s not,” Luna said vaguely.
“But-”
“He Who Must Not Be Named called them into service, of course.”
“And how did you know they were coming after me?”
Luna shrugged. “Giggles was keeping an eye on you for me. He told me you were in trouble. He can do a sort of wonky Apparition thing, so he can go quickly between two places.”
Harry nodded. Well, that explained how they were in this field instead of two streets over from Privet Drive. “Wait, you were having me followed? By that? Why? And why haven’t I seen it before?”
“Oh, Giggles is excellent at camouflage,” Luna said offhandedly. She didn’t answer his other question. “Now let’s go!”
“Go?” Harry felt thoroughly bewildered and he didn’t like it one bit.
“Well the heliopaths will be attacking everyone close to Dumbledore, won’t they? We have to warn them.”
Harry thought about Ron and the other Weasleys, about Hermione and Tonks and Remus Lupin and all the others. About Dumbledore. “Oh god. Yeah, let’s get going!” He hesitated and then said, “You really saved my skin there.”
“I had to,” Luna said simply.
He was going to reply but she was watching him so dreamily and she was the only one who had never deceived him, the only one who had seen the Thestrals and knew about heliopaths and snorkacks, the only one who didn’t want anything more than to be there with him. And before he knew what he was doing, he brushed a kiss against her cheek, feeling clumsy and stupid. Luna beamed at him and turned her head a little, skimming her lips against his. And it wasn’t wet and awkward like it had been with Cho, but warm and safe and it sent little sparks shooting through his body.
“Okay,” she said, stepping back and clambering up onto Giggles’ back. “Let’s go!”
And with a silly grin on his face, Harry climbed on behind her. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Fin
Title: Seeking
Rating: Heavy PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Ron/Krum
Summary/Prompt: for Fluffyllama. Ron goes looking for Hermione, and Krum has to resort to drastic measures to save him from Death Eaters
Word Count: 1196
The fire in Ron’s eyes matched his wild hair as he advanced through the living room upon the figure before him, wand drawn.
“Where is she, Krum?” he bellowed, quivering with rage. He towered over the Seeker, outstripping him in both height and weight.
Krum glared back, his expression becoming surlier. “Who?”
“You know who! Hermione, that’s who.”
Krum shrugged, almost as if daring Ron to hex him. “I haf not seen Herm-own-ninny for a month. She is missing?”
Ron looked him over, trying to ascertain from his demeanour if he was lying. “Yeah, she’s missing. And you don’t know anything about it?”
“No. I haf not seen her since ve met in Paris last month.”
Something clenched at Ron’s stomach. She hadn’t told him she’d met Krum last month. Let alone in bloody Paris of all places. He twitched his wand. “Show me your left wrist.”
“Vhat?”
“You heard me. Your wrist, mate, and be quick about it.” Ron gritted his teeth. Just because Harry and the rest of the Order had vanquished He Who Must Not Be Named the year after they left Hogwarts did not mean they’d finished rounding up the last of the Death Eaters.
Krum was looking distinctly uncomfortable. “You are Ron Veasley, are you not?”
“Got it in one. Now are you going to show me your arm or am I going to have to tear it out of its socket?”
Krum’s already sloped shoulders slumped and he reached for the cuff of his robes, hiking it up slowly, so slowly that Ron made a harrumph of annoyance.
Lightning quick, Krum’s hand shot into the sleeve and he withdrew his concealed wand and lunged forward, digging the tip into Ron’s throat.
“Drop it,” he hissed.
Ron shook his head. “Death Eater scum. What have you done to her?”
“Ron Veasley. Surrender now. Please!”
Ron blinked, staring into Krum’s unfathomable black eyes. “If you’re going to kill me, kill me. Go on then.”
When Krum didn’t move, Ron took a shaky step backward until they were standing at arm’s length from each other, each holding their wands in attack position. “I thought you actually cared about her.”
“I do!”
With a deep breath, Ron launched himself forward again, catching Krum’s left arm and yanking the sleeve up, revealing the dark black skull forever blistered into his flesh. Viktor kicked out, catching Ron in the shins and he fell, dragging the Seeker down with him. They grappled, rolling across the floor as they fought for dominance. Ron was much stronger but Krum was quick and sinewy, able to squirm out of Ron’s grip.
“I’ll kill you,” Ron cried, delivering a powerful blow to Krum’s cheek. Krum’s head snapped back, slamming into the floor.
“Ron,” Krum gasped, kneeing him hard between the legs. With a howl, Ron fell away from him, writhing in pain. “Ron, I vould never hurt her. I svear to you. I do not know where she is. I vould take a Truth Potion to prove it to you.”
He stood slowly, wincing, and tentatively held his hand out to Ron. After a long moment, Ron took it, allowing himself to be hauled up. Before Krum could release him, the door swung open, revealing two shadowed people in black cloaks. Krum’s eyes widened and using his grasp on Ron’s hand, he jerked the redhead forward. Ron gasped as he felt one muscular arm hook around his waist, pressing them together as Krum buried his other hand in Ron’s hair, pulling him downward to meet the shorter man’s upturned face.
Ron wasn’t sure what was happening at first. He was only aware that thin, pliant lips were pressing against his mouth, that Krum’s strong arms were holding him in place so that even as instinct kicked in and he tried to struggle, he couldn’t move.
“Viktor!” a harsh, rasping voice called.
“Keep silent,” Krum hissed into Ron’s mouth before he pulled back a few inches.
“Viktor, what are you-”
Viktor began to speak in rapid Bulgarian with one of the men and Ron had time to process the fact that Karkaroff and a small, coarse-looking balding man were staring at them in astonishment. Karkaroff said something in Bulgarian and Krum nodded.
“Out,” he said at last. “I haf one hour more paid for and then I vill join you. Now leave us.”
“Krum,” Ron said weakly as the door slammed shut.
“I told them you vere a prostitute,” Krum said, not letting go. “I am saving your life. Now you may go and find Herm-own-ninny.”
“A prosti-”
“Vait, they are vatching!” Krum wrenched Ron’s head down again for another severe kiss, his lean body arching into Ron’s to close the distance between them.
Ron said something indistinctly into Krum’s mouth and Krum used the moment to press his tongue into Ron’s mouth, running it along Ron’s teeth and then smoothing it along Ron’s own tongue. Ron blinked, shocked at how... good it felt. Warm and wet and everything seemed to flare up inside him as that wiry body molded itself against his and thin, sure fingers tangled in his hair. Ron groaned in spite of himself.
“Relax,” Viktor whispered into his mouth. “Relax. They are still vatching. Follow my lead and they vill not kill you.”
Ron nodded muzzily, lightheaded from the strange goodness of Krum’s kiss. Keep their hips flush against each other, Krum leaned backward to work at the clasps of Ron’s robes. He tore them open and pushed the off Ron’s shoulders before attacking the button’s on Ron’s white shirt, quickly undoing them to reveal Ron’s torso. With a sharp inhalation, Krum ran his pale fingers across Ron’s pectorals, skimming through the coarse red hair on his chest and down to his dark nipples.
“Krum,” Ron gasped as those clever fingers danced across his nipples. “Krum!”
“Ron, they-”
Krum seemed to think better of trying to explain and instead caught Ron in a searing kiss again, rolling his hips against Ron’s. Ron gasped as he felt something hard and sure pressing against him, against his own... arousal? Where the fuck had that come from? But now was not the time to think about these things, not when the friction of Krum’s wool robes against his bare chest felt so delicious, not when Krum was doing such wonderfully wicked things with his tongue, not when-
Krum pulled back abruptly. “They go,” he said, running an unsteady hand through his dark hair. “You can escape now.”
Ron stared at him, breathing hard. He couldn’t find any words.
“Go, Ron. Please. Go. Find Herm-own-ninny.”
“What the hell was that?” Ron finally said, hastily rebuttoning his shirt and pulling his robes back onto his shoulders.
“They vould have killed you.”
“But... but you... aren’t you in love with Hermione?”
Krum looked away from him. “I told her once that I’d never felt that vay for any other girl. It is because I normally only enjoy the company of men. But she is special.”
Ron nodded. “Yeah. Yeah she is.”
They stared at each other, a strange energy and understanding and confusion running between them, and then with a crack, Ron Apparated away.
Fin
Title: Between the Lions
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Summary/Prompt: Lions and Centurions and Timeturners, oh my! For _lore, who wanted Snape and Lupin in trouble in Italy; Remus loses his famous cool. I did something a bit different for “losing his cool”; hopefully that’s all right!
Word Count: 1482
“Why don’t we go to Italy, Severus?” Severus Snape said sourly, glaring at his companion.
“Now, Severus-”
“Oh, isn’t this an interesting artifact, Severus?” the Potions Master continued irritably.
“I only-”
“Here help me lift this up, Severus!”
“Severus!” Remus Lupin rounded on his lover with a scowl to rival Snape’s own. “I am sorry you’re having such a miserable time.”
“A miserable time. A MISERABLE TIME?” Severus practically squealed. “Look around you, you idiot! I’m not having a miserable time, I’m having an ancient one!”
Remus had the good grace to look chagrined. “Yes, well, I didn’t realize that that stone basin was magical.”
“Of course not,” said Severus, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Just because something is shaped like a three foot tall hourglass and practically humming with magic is no reason to suspect it’s a bloody timeturner.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s thousands of years old. I had no idea the ancient Romans had developed such sophisticated magic!”
A tidal wave of distant roaring interrupted anything Severus might have had to say in response and Remus sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. “If we just had our wands-”
“Then we wouldn’t still be standing here squabbling,” Severus snapped.
Remus stepped closer and laid his hands, bound together at the wrist, on Severus’ shoulder. The Potions Master could feel him trembling slightly and he closed his eyes, covering Remus’ hands with his own, the rope connecting them both forming a U between them.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
They broke off any further conversation at the echoing sound of heavy footsteps.
“Oh joy,” said Severus as their iron-barred door was flung open.
The centurion standing before them began to speak in rapid Latin. Remus arched an eyebrow at Severus quizzically. “I’m only catching every fifth or sixth word.”
Severus sniffed haughtily. “We are to be fed to the lions.”
“Are we in the bowels of the Coliseum?” Remus asked incredulously.
“Apparently. Come on, then. We’ll try to make a break for it as soon as we’re out in the open.”
But clearly the guards were used to this sort of behaviour. Falling into a phalanx around them, six heavily muscled centurions escorted them down the dank, subterranean corridor, occasionally barking words that Severus recognized as insults and commands.
“Just wait a few thousand years,” Severus grumbled, glaring at the leader. “The sacking is going to be ruddy marvelous.”
Remus glanced at him. “What’s the strategy now, love?”
“We’re going to try to avoid being eaten.”
“Well, as long as we have a plan.”
Sunlight attacked their eyes viciously after the dark gloominess of their cell. Remus, whose lupine-enhanced senses were more acute than Severus’, especially so close to a full moon, recoiled at the sudden stinging brightness, and Severus fought the urge to touch him, to soothe him.
They were led to the centre of the Coliseum and Severus couldn’t help the surge of academic curiosity that arose with him as he took in the tiers and tiers of seated people, all staring down eagerly. The air of bloodthirsty anticipation sent a reminiscent shiver down his spine. He’d been to many Death Eater assemblies that had pulsed with a similar atmosphere.
“All right?” he asked Remus gruffly, and the man beside him nodded.
Their guards were retreating now and Remus nodded toward a portcullis at the opposite end of the Coliseum. “There,” he said.
“What, the lions?”
Remus scented the air, his hazel eyes wide. “Three of them.”
With a grating reverberation of iron on stone, the gate lifted. Severus tensed and felt Remus do the same beside him.
“Steady,” Severus whispered, sweating in his black robes under the brutal sunshine.
“You too,” Remus murmured.
One by one, three massive lions stalked into the stadium, their luminous eyes fixed on Severus and Remus. Severus swallowed. They were about to die. After everything they’d been through, after the defeat of the Dark Lord, after numerous deadly encounters with Death Eaters, after decades of misunderstandings between them, after finally, finally finding one another, it was all about to end.
Remus was vibrating with agitation next to him and Severus wanted to open his mouth, wanted to tell Remus that he loved him, that despite it all, these last few years together had been the best and happiest of his life, but the heat of the day and the glaring lions seemed to have stripped away his ability to speak.
The alpha lion crept ever closer, eyeing them with evident delight. He hunched down, his enormous mane framing his intense face, and without further warning he launched himself at Severus.
Before Severus could process the end of his existence fully, the man beside him sprang into action, bursting through his bonds with an inhuman cry. Severus heard a collective gasp from the crowd before Remus’ arms were around him, dragging him out of the way. Then Remus hurtled himself at the lion as it rounded on them again and caught it square in the chest, both of them flying backward and rolling with the impact.
“NO!” Severus gasped as he the lion tried to swipe Remus away with one mammoth, clawed paw. He cast about desperately for something, anything that he could use to fend the lion off.
And then he saw him. The guard who had first captured them coming out of the mouth of the cave where they’d found the ancient timeturner. And hanging from the Roman’s belt...
“ACCIO WANDS!” Severus bellowed, and the two thin strips of wood soared through the air and landed in Severus’ outstretched hands, the reverse effect of an expelliarmus jinx.
“Lupin!” he shouted as Remus rolled away from the lion.
Remus gasped as he staggered to his feet. “Accio!” he called and his own wand sailed in an arc to him.
With a flick of his wand, he sent the ropes around Severus’ wrists slithering to the ground, and he followed up with a succession of stunning and impediment jinxes, flattening two of the lions while Severus took care of the third.
Severus hooked his arm around Remus’ waist and tried to Apparate them both away. Nothing happened.
“Bloody hell!”
“Anti-Apparition wards?” Remus groaned. “Why on earth would they have such things here?”
Back to back, they held their wands in attack position as several centurions stumbled into the stadium, eyeing them warily. With a shout akin to a war cry, Remus swept his wand in an arc, taking down four of the soldiers at once with bodybinding spells. Then he pointed the wand at his own throat and muttered, “Agnosco! Sonorus!”
He turned to the foremost guard. “Safe passage!” he shouted and Severus knew the people around them would hear his lover’s magically magnified voice speaking their own tongue.
“Safe passage out of the city and we won’t hurt anyone else!”
Severus could tell the ones closest were considering but he could also see more soldiers running toward them.
“Lupin,” he hissed. “On the count of three!”
Remus nodded, pointed his wand at himself again, and said, “Finite incantatem.”
“One,” said Severus.
“Two,” said Remus.
“Three!” they cried together, and they took off at a run, firing hexes at anyone they could see. Scrambling into the stands, they evaded grasping hands and kicking feet as they dashed for the entrance. Severus was grimly pleased to note that most of the people around them were scrambling backwards in fear. He latched onto Remus’ hand and the moment they were out of the Coliseum he Apparated them both back to the cave.
“Lift!” he said, pointing at the great stone hourglass.
Breathing hard, Remus complied, and together they heaved it upward. Severus felt a peculiar spinning sensation in his stomach and then they both collapsed to the stone floor, the hourglass slipping from their grasp and smashing into dull gray shards. Severus winced but before he could say anything, five feet eleven inches of animated werewolf was covering him, pressing him into the ground as Remus kissed him enthusiastically.
“Lupin,” he panted before succumbing to the onslaught and opening his lips to his lover’s questing tongue.
“You were brilliant,” Remus breathed. “That was amazing!”
A shadow of a smile played across Severus’ face. “I’d... I’d be lion lunch right now if not for you.”
Remus pulled himself upright and helped Severus to his feet. Together they exited the cave. Severus felt a wash of relief sweep over him as he saw Muggle skyscrapers on the horizon. “We’re back,” he observed.
“And we weren’t eaten.”
“Well, I do have experience with that. After all, you tried to eat me once.”
Remus arched an eyebrow. “Well. I don’t want to eat you now.”
“Oh no?” Severus teased.
“No.” Remus turned to him, an expression of adrenaline-fuelled lust on his face. “Now I want to devour you.”
And with a pop, Remus Apparated them both to their hotel room.
Title: Yes, Love?
Rating: Lightish R
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Summary/Prompt: for jenicomrispas, who wanted fluffy Snape/Lupin in a kitchen with spreadable cheese. Severus prepares a celebratory feast. Remus approves.
Word Count: 1357
Rarely did a happy smile grace the sharp features of Severus Snape’s face. He’d been known to smile unpleasantly, of course, in a manner that made the recipient of the smile squirm uncomfortably with a newborn sense of impending and agonizing doom. But very few people had ever seen a true, happy, downright blissful smile curve across Severus’ face. Remus Lupin was one of those people.
“You’re happy,” Remus murmured as he entered the kitchen, two trunks clunking down onto the floor behind him.
“Am I?” Severus said, his voice coming out as a purr, his hands clasped behind his back as he looked Remus over appraisingly.
The werewolf chuckled. “If I wasn’t absolutely positive that you do not do such things, I’d say you were glowing right now.”
Severus’ smile morphed into a smirk. “But as you don’t want to be hexed back to Hogwarts, you’ll refrain from uttering anything of the sort.”
“Precisely.”
“So,” Severus said, glancing at the trunks, “is that everything?”
“These are the last of them,” Remus said, crossing the kitchen to enfold Severus in his arms, kissing him softly. “We are officially moved into your summer residence. Two full months of no teaching, no responsibilities, no students-”
“And no Potter,” Severus finished, the smile returning with a decidedly malicious cast.
“Severus...”
“No more Potter. No more Granger. No more Weasley males. And for that matter, no more Longbottom or Malfoy or Crabbe. Pity Goyle had to stay behind the year.”
Remus brushed a kiss against Severus’ smooth cheek. “Try not to show such attachment to your students, Severus. It really is time to cut the apron strings.”
Slipping a leg between Remus’ thighs, Severus maneuvered them until Remus was pinned against the counter. With a sensuous undulation, he moved their hips together and Remus hummed with pleasure, his head falling backwards. Severus took advantage of the exposed skin to nip and lick at Remus’ throat, savouring the salty taste of his lover’s skin.
“Love you,” Remus moaned, pressing a kiss against Severus’ temple, hints of grey just starting to make an appearance there.
Severus sunk his teeth into the sensitive flesh, drawing an appreciative growl from the werewolf before pulling back.
“Well,” he said, “welcome to our summer cottage.”
Remus beamed at the word “our”, more a declaration of love from the cranky Potions Master than Remus could ever have dreamed of in the past. Kissing his cheek once more, Remus said, “and far roomier than our Hogwarts quarters.”
“Yes.”
“We could retire out here when the time comes.”
Severus gave him an inscrutable look before saying quietly, “We could at that.”
Remus knew better than to push the issue of their future together any further. “So. What smells so enticing? Besides you, I mean.”
Severus huffed, though Remus though he detected a hint of pleasure in Severus’ dark eyes. “I am preparing us a feast,” he said haughtily, “to celebrate the departure of Potter et al from the halls of Hogwarts forever more.”
“Nothing could make you happier I suppose,” Remus laughed.
Severus looked at him for a long moment. “Almost nothing could please me more,” he said softly before turning to the pots on the oven.
Something warm and tingly blossomed in Remus’ stomach as he watched Severus’ back and he quickly advanced through the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Severus’ waist, leaning his cheek against his lover’s shoulder.
“And just what are you preparing to celebrate the end of the school year?” he said, sniffing delicately as the aroma of cheese and garlic wafted through the air, underscored by the scent of rich dark chocolate.
“To celebrate the departure of Potter? I thought we could fondue,” Severus said, leaning back a fraction into Remus’ embrace. He pointed to two pots on the stove in turn. “Cheese to begin, chocolate to finish.”
Remus’ mouth went dry as he thought of spreading Severus’ long, lean body out onto the kitchen floor and drizzling patterns of melted chocolate along his torso. He cleared his throat. “Do you need any help?”
“No. You were abysmal at potions, which leads me to believe that you will be equally poor as a chef. Go unpack.”
Remus rolled his eyes and said affectionately, “Yes, sir.”
He pressed a kiss to the side of Severus’ neck and retreated, trunks floating sedately behind him, to their bedroom. He counted to ten before turning around and padding soundlessly back toward the kitchen, wand drawn. He peered through the doorway. Severus’ back was still toward him, but he could tell by the hunch of his shoulders that he was deep in concentration, probably trying to find the optimal blend of herbs for the cheese. So the pot of cheese was on the left, the chocolate on the right. Excellent.
He pointed his wand at Severus and murmured, “Evanesco.” The Potions Master’s clothing disappeared and he shivered a little before he seemed to realize. He looked down and let out a thoroughly undignified yelp.
“Lupin!” he hollered and Remus sauntered into the kitchen, twitching his wand to levitate the pot of melting chocolate.
“Yes, love?”
“What is going on in that addled brain of yours?”
“Hmmmm, let’s see,” Remus said, coming to a halt in front of his lover. “What is going on in my mind? I believe the thoughts ‘Naked Severus’ and ‘covered in chocolate’ joined together, along with ‘licking clean’. I imagine you can connect the dots yourself?”
He was pleased to see a deep crimson stain appear on Severus’ cheeks. He glanced down and noticed that other areas of Severus were certainly interested in the idea as well. He swished his wand, intending to call the hovering pot of chocolate to him but Severus moved first, snatching the wand away and snarling, “Evanesco!”
Remus shuddered as his clothing disappeared and Severus caught the moving pot in mid-air.
“Well, well,” he said with a smirk. “I do believe I told you not to meddle in my kitchen."
Remus grinned. “I have selective hearing problems.”
“Indeed. I think I shall have to teach you a lesson.”
“But isn’t the point of this feast you’re so fastidiously preparing to celebrate the fact that you don’t need to teach for several months?”
Severus floated the pot closer to Remus. “As you seem to be intent on ruining my feast by contaminating it through contact with human skin, your point is quite moot.”
Remus lunged to retrieve his wand but Severus was faster, dumping the entire pot on Remus’ head. Sticky, deep yellow goo cascaded over his head and down his face and neck, coating his body with peppery, garlic-laced, gelatinous cheese.
Remus spluttered, wiping the liquefied cheese out of his eyes. “Severus Snape!” he gasped and he saw another of those genuinely happy smiles flit across his lover’s face, though it was immediately replaced by an expression far more lascivious and not a little sinister.
“Yes, love?” Severus mimicked Remus’ earlier faux-innocent tone.
“This is not chocolate.”
“A very good observation. Perhaps you aren’t as hopeless as I’d first thought.”
Laughing, Remus charged forward, catching Severus around the waist and propelling him backward against the refrigerator, one of Severus' concessions to Muggle ingenuity. Severus bit back a squeak. “Cold!”
“Good thing the cheese and I are so hot, then,” Remus said. He pinned Severus’ body against the fridge with his own weight, holding one wrist firmly. With his free hand he scooped some of the gluey cheese out of his hair and smeared it down Severus’ chest, massaging it into first one nipple and then the next.
“Remus,” Severus groaned, his hips thrusting involuntarily against Remus’.
“Yes, love?” Remus bent his head to lick a trail through the cheese.
“May I suggest a shower?”
“Excuse me?” Remus glanced up, genuinely startled.
“A shower. For the two of us. After which I intend to tie you to the bed and paint chocolate runes all over your body.”
Remus scraped another hunk of viscous cheese off his shoulder and wrapped his hand around Severus’ erection. Severus gasped. “Later,” Remus said. “We mustn’t let this feast go to waste.”
“No, love. We mustn’t.”
Fin
Giggles- Harry Potter- Harry/Luna- G
Seeking- Harry Potter- Ron/Krum- Heavy PG-13
Between the Lions- Harry Potter- Severus/Remus- PG-13
Yes, Love?- Harry Potter- Severus/Remus- Lightish R
Title: Giggles
Rating: G
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Luna
Summary/Prompt: Cornered in an unbelievable situation, Harry is rescued by Luna and the most unlikely of helpers. For greencookie, who said “Harry/Luna- Let’s go, go, go!” Actually, I don’t know if that was the prompt or just encouragement to get it done, but I took it as the basis of the ficlet.
Word Count: 1120
He’d never thought it would end like this. Face-to-face with Lord Voldemort? Sure. Surrounded by enraged Death Eaters? Maybe. Accidentally but fatally maimed by some experimental, bloodthirsty creature during one of Hagrid’s classes? An outside chance. But backed up against a wall in Little Whinging, the ground around him scorched into a crumbling, stinking blackness as great tall creatures made of pure fire approached? Inconceivable!
“IMPEDIMENTA!” Harry shouted desperately, swishing his wand in a wide arc to hit as many of the creatures as possible. The spell shimmered through their insubstantial bodies without slowing them at all and Harry swore under his breath. So much for inconceivable. And so much for the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. Again.
At least eight of the fiery beings crackled forward, flames leaping from what Harry thought must have been their hands, burning the ground they surged over. Sweat poured down Harry’s face. He thought that this must be what hell looked like, what hell felt like, and despite the heat a shiver rolled through his body. He cast about desperately, trying to remember any charm or jinx that might slow their progress, just long enough for some bloody person on the street to notice that he was about to be unceremoniously flambéed.
“GLACIALUM!” he shouted. The creatures paused for a moment but then moved closer. Where the hell was Dung or Mrs. Figg when he needed them?
Sparks leaped from their bodies, singeing little speckles of white-hot pain into Harry’s skin. “Glacialum!” he tried again, but they dodged, their sinuous, ethereal bodies flashing out of the way as the bolt of blue energy burst past them.
He was going to faint from the heat. He was going to be incinerated to death. He was going to-
“HUMO PLUO!”
Harry and the creatures whipped around at the earthshaking voice and one of his attackers fell, buried in a deluge of water and soil. It was snuffed out, leaving nothing behind but wisps of smoke.
Harry couldn’t see his rescuer through the flames but he repeated the incantation he’d heard her shout. “Humo pluo!”
He felled two of the beings while his rescuer brought down a fourth, creating a gap large enough for Harry to hurdle through. The sight that greeted him was even stranger than the one he’d only just been faced with and he froze for a moment while his brain processed the image.
A girl, her scraggly blond hair bound up in dreadlocks, her wide eyes tracking Harry’s movements, was sitting astride the ugliest animal Harry had ever seen. It was at least five feet tall and easily double that in length, with a scaly bluish hide in armadillo-like sections and large black eyes. On its face rested a massive horn, similar to a rhinoceros' but for the fact that it was folded in on itself multiple times so that it looked like a squat, dark cabbage half.
The girl reached her hand out and Harry grabbed it, swinging himself behind her and onto the beast, his hands resting on her shoulders.
“Luna?” he gasped as she dug her heels into the animal’s side as if it were a massive and ridiculously ugly horse.
“Hang on,” she said sedately and they reared back. Harry nearly slid off, but the creature raised its spiky tail up and caught him before they galloped away. Muggles walking down the street or looking out of their windows didn’t seem to see them at all, or if they did, they were surprisingly unsurprised to witness two teenagers on the back of what looked to Harry like a mutant dinosaur. He caught a glimpse of number 4 Privet Drive before the animal launched itself in the air. For a moment all Harry could see was deep blue sky before they landed with a thud.
He looked around, jaw dropping. They were somewhere else.
“Luna?” he said, amazed.
“Yes?” she said, sliding off the beast’s back. She produced a bag of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum from her pocket and fed several chunks of gum to the animal, who began to chomp away happily, pausing occasionally to blow large, colourful bubbles.
Harry didn’t know where to begin. He just stared at her. She stared back.
“Do you like Giggles?” she asked.
“Excuse me?”
“My Crumple-Horned Snorkack,” she said, nodding toward the creature, whose bubbles were coming out in the shapes of different polyhedrons. A pyramid and a dodecahedron passed by Harry’s head.
“Um. Yes. Very nice,” Harry said. “And those fire things were-”
“Heliopaths. I told you about them last year. From Fudge’s private army.”
Harry blinked. “Fudge’s private army. Right.” He did vaguely remember Luna mentioning it. Hermione had dismissed it outright and at the time Harry had agreed with her. But now...
“Why is Fudge trying to have me killed?”
“Oh, he’s not,” Luna said vaguely.
“But-”
“He Who Must Not Be Named called them into service, of course.”
“And how did you know they were coming after me?”
Luna shrugged. “Giggles was keeping an eye on you for me. He told me you were in trouble. He can do a sort of wonky Apparition thing, so he can go quickly between two places.”
Harry nodded. Well, that explained how they were in this field instead of two streets over from Privet Drive. “Wait, you were having me followed? By that? Why? And why haven’t I seen it before?”
“Oh, Giggles is excellent at camouflage,” Luna said offhandedly. She didn’t answer his other question. “Now let’s go!”
“Go?” Harry felt thoroughly bewildered and he didn’t like it one bit.
“Well the heliopaths will be attacking everyone close to Dumbledore, won’t they? We have to warn them.”
Harry thought about Ron and the other Weasleys, about Hermione and Tonks and Remus Lupin and all the others. About Dumbledore. “Oh god. Yeah, let’s get going!” He hesitated and then said, “You really saved my skin there.”
“I had to,” Luna said simply.
He was going to reply but she was watching him so dreamily and she was the only one who had never deceived him, the only one who had seen the Thestrals and knew about heliopaths and snorkacks, the only one who didn’t want anything more than to be there with him. And before he knew what he was doing, he brushed a kiss against her cheek, feeling clumsy and stupid. Luna beamed at him and turned her head a little, skimming her lips against his. And it wasn’t wet and awkward like it had been with Cho, but warm and safe and it sent little sparks shooting through his body.
“Okay,” she said, stepping back and clambering up onto Giggles’ back. “Let’s go!”
And with a silly grin on his face, Harry climbed on behind her. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Fin
Title: Seeking
Rating: Heavy PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Ron/Krum
Summary/Prompt: for Fluffyllama. Ron goes looking for Hermione, and Krum has to resort to drastic measures to save him from Death Eaters
Word Count: 1196
The fire in Ron’s eyes matched his wild hair as he advanced through the living room upon the figure before him, wand drawn.
“Where is she, Krum?” he bellowed, quivering with rage. He towered over the Seeker, outstripping him in both height and weight.
Krum glared back, his expression becoming surlier. “Who?”
“You know who! Hermione, that’s who.”
Krum shrugged, almost as if daring Ron to hex him. “I haf not seen Herm-own-ninny for a month. She is missing?”
Ron looked him over, trying to ascertain from his demeanour if he was lying. “Yeah, she’s missing. And you don’t know anything about it?”
“No. I haf not seen her since ve met in Paris last month.”
Something clenched at Ron’s stomach. She hadn’t told him she’d met Krum last month. Let alone in bloody Paris of all places. He twitched his wand. “Show me your left wrist.”
“Vhat?”
“You heard me. Your wrist, mate, and be quick about it.” Ron gritted his teeth. Just because Harry and the rest of the Order had vanquished He Who Must Not Be Named the year after they left Hogwarts did not mean they’d finished rounding up the last of the Death Eaters.
Krum was looking distinctly uncomfortable. “You are Ron Veasley, are you not?”
“Got it in one. Now are you going to show me your arm or am I going to have to tear it out of its socket?”
Krum’s already sloped shoulders slumped and he reached for the cuff of his robes, hiking it up slowly, so slowly that Ron made a harrumph of annoyance.
Lightning quick, Krum’s hand shot into the sleeve and he withdrew his concealed wand and lunged forward, digging the tip into Ron’s throat.
“Drop it,” he hissed.
Ron shook his head. “Death Eater scum. What have you done to her?”
“Ron Veasley. Surrender now. Please!”
Ron blinked, staring into Krum’s unfathomable black eyes. “If you’re going to kill me, kill me. Go on then.”
When Krum didn’t move, Ron took a shaky step backward until they were standing at arm’s length from each other, each holding their wands in attack position. “I thought you actually cared about her.”
“I do!”
With a deep breath, Ron launched himself forward again, catching Krum’s left arm and yanking the sleeve up, revealing the dark black skull forever blistered into his flesh. Viktor kicked out, catching Ron in the shins and he fell, dragging the Seeker down with him. They grappled, rolling across the floor as they fought for dominance. Ron was much stronger but Krum was quick and sinewy, able to squirm out of Ron’s grip.
“I’ll kill you,” Ron cried, delivering a powerful blow to Krum’s cheek. Krum’s head snapped back, slamming into the floor.
“Ron,” Krum gasped, kneeing him hard between the legs. With a howl, Ron fell away from him, writhing in pain. “Ron, I vould never hurt her. I svear to you. I do not know where she is. I vould take a Truth Potion to prove it to you.”
He stood slowly, wincing, and tentatively held his hand out to Ron. After a long moment, Ron took it, allowing himself to be hauled up. Before Krum could release him, the door swung open, revealing two shadowed people in black cloaks. Krum’s eyes widened and using his grasp on Ron’s hand, he jerked the redhead forward. Ron gasped as he felt one muscular arm hook around his waist, pressing them together as Krum buried his other hand in Ron’s hair, pulling him downward to meet the shorter man’s upturned face.
Ron wasn’t sure what was happening at first. He was only aware that thin, pliant lips were pressing against his mouth, that Krum’s strong arms were holding him in place so that even as instinct kicked in and he tried to struggle, he couldn’t move.
“Viktor!” a harsh, rasping voice called.
“Keep silent,” Krum hissed into Ron’s mouth before he pulled back a few inches.
“Viktor, what are you-”
Viktor began to speak in rapid Bulgarian with one of the men and Ron had time to process the fact that Karkaroff and a small, coarse-looking balding man were staring at them in astonishment. Karkaroff said something in Bulgarian and Krum nodded.
“Out,” he said at last. “I haf one hour more paid for and then I vill join you. Now leave us.”
“Krum,” Ron said weakly as the door slammed shut.
“I told them you vere a prostitute,” Krum said, not letting go. “I am saving your life. Now you may go and find Herm-own-ninny.”
“A prosti-”
“Vait, they are vatching!” Krum wrenched Ron’s head down again for another severe kiss, his lean body arching into Ron’s to close the distance between them.
Ron said something indistinctly into Krum’s mouth and Krum used the moment to press his tongue into Ron’s mouth, running it along Ron’s teeth and then smoothing it along Ron’s own tongue. Ron blinked, shocked at how... good it felt. Warm and wet and everything seemed to flare up inside him as that wiry body molded itself against his and thin, sure fingers tangled in his hair. Ron groaned in spite of himself.
“Relax,” Viktor whispered into his mouth. “Relax. They are still vatching. Follow my lead and they vill not kill you.”
Ron nodded muzzily, lightheaded from the strange goodness of Krum’s kiss. Keep their hips flush against each other, Krum leaned backward to work at the clasps of Ron’s robes. He tore them open and pushed the off Ron’s shoulders before attacking the button’s on Ron’s white shirt, quickly undoing them to reveal Ron’s torso. With a sharp inhalation, Krum ran his pale fingers across Ron’s pectorals, skimming through the coarse red hair on his chest and down to his dark nipples.
“Krum,” Ron gasped as those clever fingers danced across his nipples. “Krum!”
“Ron, they-”
Krum seemed to think better of trying to explain and instead caught Ron in a searing kiss again, rolling his hips against Ron’s. Ron gasped as he felt something hard and sure pressing against him, against his own... arousal? Where the fuck had that come from? But now was not the time to think about these things, not when the friction of Krum’s wool robes against his bare chest felt so delicious, not when Krum was doing such wonderfully wicked things with his tongue, not when-
Krum pulled back abruptly. “They go,” he said, running an unsteady hand through his dark hair. “You can escape now.”
Ron stared at him, breathing hard. He couldn’t find any words.
“Go, Ron. Please. Go. Find Herm-own-ninny.”
“What the hell was that?” Ron finally said, hastily rebuttoning his shirt and pulling his robes back onto his shoulders.
“They vould have killed you.”
“But... but you... aren’t you in love with Hermione?”
Krum looked away from him. “I told her once that I’d never felt that vay for any other girl. It is because I normally only enjoy the company of men. But she is special.”
Ron nodded. “Yeah. Yeah she is.”
They stared at each other, a strange energy and understanding and confusion running between them, and then with a crack, Ron Apparated away.
Fin
Title: Between the Lions
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Summary/Prompt: Lions and Centurions and Timeturners, oh my! For _lore, who wanted Snape and Lupin in trouble in Italy; Remus loses his famous cool. I did something a bit different for “losing his cool”; hopefully that’s all right!
Word Count: 1482
“Why don’t we go to Italy, Severus?” Severus Snape said sourly, glaring at his companion.
“Now, Severus-”
“Oh, isn’t this an interesting artifact, Severus?” the Potions Master continued irritably.
“I only-”
“Here help me lift this up, Severus!”
“Severus!” Remus Lupin rounded on his lover with a scowl to rival Snape’s own. “I am sorry you’re having such a miserable time.”
“A miserable time. A MISERABLE TIME?” Severus practically squealed. “Look around you, you idiot! I’m not having a miserable time, I’m having an ancient one!”
Remus had the good grace to look chagrined. “Yes, well, I didn’t realize that that stone basin was magical.”
“Of course not,” said Severus, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Just because something is shaped like a three foot tall hourglass and practically humming with magic is no reason to suspect it’s a bloody timeturner.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s thousands of years old. I had no idea the ancient Romans had developed such sophisticated magic!”
A tidal wave of distant roaring interrupted anything Severus might have had to say in response and Remus sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. “If we just had our wands-”
“Then we wouldn’t still be standing here squabbling,” Severus snapped.
Remus stepped closer and laid his hands, bound together at the wrist, on Severus’ shoulder. The Potions Master could feel him trembling slightly and he closed his eyes, covering Remus’ hands with his own, the rope connecting them both forming a U between them.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
They broke off any further conversation at the echoing sound of heavy footsteps.
“Oh joy,” said Severus as their iron-barred door was flung open.
The centurion standing before them began to speak in rapid Latin. Remus arched an eyebrow at Severus quizzically. “I’m only catching every fifth or sixth word.”
Severus sniffed haughtily. “We are to be fed to the lions.”
“Are we in the bowels of the Coliseum?” Remus asked incredulously.
“Apparently. Come on, then. We’ll try to make a break for it as soon as we’re out in the open.”
But clearly the guards were used to this sort of behaviour. Falling into a phalanx around them, six heavily muscled centurions escorted them down the dank, subterranean corridor, occasionally barking words that Severus recognized as insults and commands.
“Just wait a few thousand years,” Severus grumbled, glaring at the leader. “The sacking is going to be ruddy marvelous.”
Remus glanced at him. “What’s the strategy now, love?”
“We’re going to try to avoid being eaten.”
“Well, as long as we have a plan.”
Sunlight attacked their eyes viciously after the dark gloominess of their cell. Remus, whose lupine-enhanced senses were more acute than Severus’, especially so close to a full moon, recoiled at the sudden stinging brightness, and Severus fought the urge to touch him, to soothe him.
They were led to the centre of the Coliseum and Severus couldn’t help the surge of academic curiosity that arose with him as he took in the tiers and tiers of seated people, all staring down eagerly. The air of bloodthirsty anticipation sent a reminiscent shiver down his spine. He’d been to many Death Eater assemblies that had pulsed with a similar atmosphere.
“All right?” he asked Remus gruffly, and the man beside him nodded.
Their guards were retreating now and Remus nodded toward a portcullis at the opposite end of the Coliseum. “There,” he said.
“What, the lions?”
Remus scented the air, his hazel eyes wide. “Three of them.”
With a grating reverberation of iron on stone, the gate lifted. Severus tensed and felt Remus do the same beside him.
“Steady,” Severus whispered, sweating in his black robes under the brutal sunshine.
“You too,” Remus murmured.
One by one, three massive lions stalked into the stadium, their luminous eyes fixed on Severus and Remus. Severus swallowed. They were about to die. After everything they’d been through, after the defeat of the Dark Lord, after numerous deadly encounters with Death Eaters, after decades of misunderstandings between them, after finally, finally finding one another, it was all about to end.
Remus was vibrating with agitation next to him and Severus wanted to open his mouth, wanted to tell Remus that he loved him, that despite it all, these last few years together had been the best and happiest of his life, but the heat of the day and the glaring lions seemed to have stripped away his ability to speak.
The alpha lion crept ever closer, eyeing them with evident delight. He hunched down, his enormous mane framing his intense face, and without further warning he launched himself at Severus.
Before Severus could process the end of his existence fully, the man beside him sprang into action, bursting through his bonds with an inhuman cry. Severus heard a collective gasp from the crowd before Remus’ arms were around him, dragging him out of the way. Then Remus hurtled himself at the lion as it rounded on them again and caught it square in the chest, both of them flying backward and rolling with the impact.
“NO!” Severus gasped as he the lion tried to swipe Remus away with one mammoth, clawed paw. He cast about desperately for something, anything that he could use to fend the lion off.
And then he saw him. The guard who had first captured them coming out of the mouth of the cave where they’d found the ancient timeturner. And hanging from the Roman’s belt...
“ACCIO WANDS!” Severus bellowed, and the two thin strips of wood soared through the air and landed in Severus’ outstretched hands, the reverse effect of an expelliarmus jinx.
“Lupin!” he shouted as Remus rolled away from the lion.
Remus gasped as he staggered to his feet. “Accio!” he called and his own wand sailed in an arc to him.
With a flick of his wand, he sent the ropes around Severus’ wrists slithering to the ground, and he followed up with a succession of stunning and impediment jinxes, flattening two of the lions while Severus took care of the third.
Severus hooked his arm around Remus’ waist and tried to Apparate them both away. Nothing happened.
“Bloody hell!”
“Anti-Apparition wards?” Remus groaned. “Why on earth would they have such things here?”
Back to back, they held their wands in attack position as several centurions stumbled into the stadium, eyeing them warily. With a shout akin to a war cry, Remus swept his wand in an arc, taking down four of the soldiers at once with bodybinding spells. Then he pointed the wand at his own throat and muttered, “Agnosco! Sonorus!”
He turned to the foremost guard. “Safe passage!” he shouted and Severus knew the people around them would hear his lover’s magically magnified voice speaking their own tongue.
“Safe passage out of the city and we won’t hurt anyone else!”
Severus could tell the ones closest were considering but he could also see more soldiers running toward them.
“Lupin,” he hissed. “On the count of three!”
Remus nodded, pointed his wand at himself again, and said, “Finite incantatem.”
“One,” said Severus.
“Two,” said Remus.
“Three!” they cried together, and they took off at a run, firing hexes at anyone they could see. Scrambling into the stands, they evaded grasping hands and kicking feet as they dashed for the entrance. Severus was grimly pleased to note that most of the people around them were scrambling backwards in fear. He latched onto Remus’ hand and the moment they were out of the Coliseum he Apparated them both back to the cave.
“Lift!” he said, pointing at the great stone hourglass.
Breathing hard, Remus complied, and together they heaved it upward. Severus felt a peculiar spinning sensation in his stomach and then they both collapsed to the stone floor, the hourglass slipping from their grasp and smashing into dull gray shards. Severus winced but before he could say anything, five feet eleven inches of animated werewolf was covering him, pressing him into the ground as Remus kissed him enthusiastically.
“Lupin,” he panted before succumbing to the onslaught and opening his lips to his lover’s questing tongue.
“You were brilliant,” Remus breathed. “That was amazing!”
A shadow of a smile played across Severus’ face. “I’d... I’d be lion lunch right now if not for you.”
Remus pulled himself upright and helped Severus to his feet. Together they exited the cave. Severus felt a wash of relief sweep over him as he saw Muggle skyscrapers on the horizon. “We’re back,” he observed.
“And we weren’t eaten.”
“Well, I do have experience with that. After all, you tried to eat me once.”
Remus arched an eyebrow. “Well. I don’t want to eat you now.”
“Oh no?” Severus teased.
“No.” Remus turned to him, an expression of adrenaline-fuelled lust on his face. “Now I want to devour you.”
And with a pop, Remus Apparated them both to their hotel room.
Title: Yes, Love?
Rating: Lightish R
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Summary/Prompt: for jenicomrispas, who wanted fluffy Snape/Lupin in a kitchen with spreadable cheese. Severus prepares a celebratory feast. Remus approves.
Word Count: 1357
Rarely did a happy smile grace the sharp features of Severus Snape’s face. He’d been known to smile unpleasantly, of course, in a manner that made the recipient of the smile squirm uncomfortably with a newborn sense of impending and agonizing doom. But very few people had ever seen a true, happy, downright blissful smile curve across Severus’ face. Remus Lupin was one of those people.
“You’re happy,” Remus murmured as he entered the kitchen, two trunks clunking down onto the floor behind him.
“Am I?” Severus said, his voice coming out as a purr, his hands clasped behind his back as he looked Remus over appraisingly.
The werewolf chuckled. “If I wasn’t absolutely positive that you do not do such things, I’d say you were glowing right now.”
Severus’ smile morphed into a smirk. “But as you don’t want to be hexed back to Hogwarts, you’ll refrain from uttering anything of the sort.”
“Precisely.”
“So,” Severus said, glancing at the trunks, “is that everything?”
“These are the last of them,” Remus said, crossing the kitchen to enfold Severus in his arms, kissing him softly. “We are officially moved into your summer residence. Two full months of no teaching, no responsibilities, no students-”
“And no Potter,” Severus finished, the smile returning with a decidedly malicious cast.
“Severus...”
“No more Potter. No more Granger. No more Weasley males. And for that matter, no more Longbottom or Malfoy or Crabbe. Pity Goyle had to stay behind the year.”
Remus brushed a kiss against Severus’ smooth cheek. “Try not to show such attachment to your students, Severus. It really is time to cut the apron strings.”
Slipping a leg between Remus’ thighs, Severus maneuvered them until Remus was pinned against the counter. With a sensuous undulation, he moved their hips together and Remus hummed with pleasure, his head falling backwards. Severus took advantage of the exposed skin to nip and lick at Remus’ throat, savouring the salty taste of his lover’s skin.
“Love you,” Remus moaned, pressing a kiss against Severus’ temple, hints of grey just starting to make an appearance there.
Severus sunk his teeth into the sensitive flesh, drawing an appreciative growl from the werewolf before pulling back.
“Well,” he said, “welcome to our summer cottage.”
Remus beamed at the word “our”, more a declaration of love from the cranky Potions Master than Remus could ever have dreamed of in the past. Kissing his cheek once more, Remus said, “and far roomier than our Hogwarts quarters.”
“Yes.”
“We could retire out here when the time comes.”
Severus gave him an inscrutable look before saying quietly, “We could at that.”
Remus knew better than to push the issue of their future together any further. “So. What smells so enticing? Besides you, I mean.”
Severus huffed, though Remus though he detected a hint of pleasure in Severus’ dark eyes. “I am preparing us a feast,” he said haughtily, “to celebrate the departure of Potter et al from the halls of Hogwarts forever more.”
“Nothing could make you happier I suppose,” Remus laughed.
Severus looked at him for a long moment. “Almost nothing could please me more,” he said softly before turning to the pots on the oven.
Something warm and tingly blossomed in Remus’ stomach as he watched Severus’ back and he quickly advanced through the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Severus’ waist, leaning his cheek against his lover’s shoulder.
“And just what are you preparing to celebrate the end of the school year?” he said, sniffing delicately as the aroma of cheese and garlic wafted through the air, underscored by the scent of rich dark chocolate.
“To celebrate the departure of Potter? I thought we could fondue,” Severus said, leaning back a fraction into Remus’ embrace. He pointed to two pots on the stove in turn. “Cheese to begin, chocolate to finish.”
Remus’ mouth went dry as he thought of spreading Severus’ long, lean body out onto the kitchen floor and drizzling patterns of melted chocolate along his torso. He cleared his throat. “Do you need any help?”
“No. You were abysmal at potions, which leads me to believe that you will be equally poor as a chef. Go unpack.”
Remus rolled his eyes and said affectionately, “Yes, sir.”
He pressed a kiss to the side of Severus’ neck and retreated, trunks floating sedately behind him, to their bedroom. He counted to ten before turning around and padding soundlessly back toward the kitchen, wand drawn. He peered through the doorway. Severus’ back was still toward him, but he could tell by the hunch of his shoulders that he was deep in concentration, probably trying to find the optimal blend of herbs for the cheese. So the pot of cheese was on the left, the chocolate on the right. Excellent.
He pointed his wand at Severus and murmured, “Evanesco.” The Potions Master’s clothing disappeared and he shivered a little before he seemed to realize. He looked down and let out a thoroughly undignified yelp.
“Lupin!” he hollered and Remus sauntered into the kitchen, twitching his wand to levitate the pot of melting chocolate.
“Yes, love?”
“What is going on in that addled brain of yours?”
“Hmmmm, let’s see,” Remus said, coming to a halt in front of his lover. “What is going on in my mind? I believe the thoughts ‘Naked Severus’ and ‘covered in chocolate’ joined together, along with ‘licking clean’. I imagine you can connect the dots yourself?”
He was pleased to see a deep crimson stain appear on Severus’ cheeks. He glanced down and noticed that other areas of Severus were certainly interested in the idea as well. He swished his wand, intending to call the hovering pot of chocolate to him but Severus moved first, snatching the wand away and snarling, “Evanesco!”
Remus shuddered as his clothing disappeared and Severus caught the moving pot in mid-air.
“Well, well,” he said with a smirk. “I do believe I told you not to meddle in my kitchen."
Remus grinned. “I have selective hearing problems.”
“Indeed. I think I shall have to teach you a lesson.”
“But isn’t the point of this feast you’re so fastidiously preparing to celebrate the fact that you don’t need to teach for several months?”
Severus floated the pot closer to Remus. “As you seem to be intent on ruining my feast by contaminating it through contact with human skin, your point is quite moot.”
Remus lunged to retrieve his wand but Severus was faster, dumping the entire pot on Remus’ head. Sticky, deep yellow goo cascaded over his head and down his face and neck, coating his body with peppery, garlic-laced, gelatinous cheese.
Remus spluttered, wiping the liquefied cheese out of his eyes. “Severus Snape!” he gasped and he saw another of those genuinely happy smiles flit across his lover’s face, though it was immediately replaced by an expression far more lascivious and not a little sinister.
“Yes, love?” Severus mimicked Remus’ earlier faux-innocent tone.
“This is not chocolate.”
“A very good observation. Perhaps you aren’t as hopeless as I’d first thought.”
Laughing, Remus charged forward, catching Severus around the waist and propelling him backward against the refrigerator, one of Severus' concessions to Muggle ingenuity. Severus bit back a squeak. “Cold!”
“Good thing the cheese and I are so hot, then,” Remus said. He pinned Severus’ body against the fridge with his own weight, holding one wrist firmly. With his free hand he scooped some of the gluey cheese out of his hair and smeared it down Severus’ chest, massaging it into first one nipple and then the next.
“Remus,” Severus groaned, his hips thrusting involuntarily against Remus’.
“Yes, love?” Remus bent his head to lick a trail through the cheese.
“May I suggest a shower?”
“Excuse me?” Remus glanced up, genuinely startled.
“A shower. For the two of us. After which I intend to tie you to the bed and paint chocolate runes all over your body.”
Remus scraped another hunk of viscous cheese off his shoulder and wrapped his hand around Severus’ erection. Severus gasped. “Later,” Remus said. “We mustn’t let this feast go to waste.”
“No, love. We mustn’t.”
Fin