Another short affair piece and some MFU questions
Written for today’s short affair prompt at Section VII.
Summary: In which there’s a problem with the cabin that serves as an U.N.C.L.E. safehouse…
Cross-posted to AO3.
Illya was used to the cold weather, and, indeed, relished the coating of white snow on the ground as he headed to the cabin where he was supposed to meet Napoleon, where they were to lie low until the overzealous THRUSH agents in the area called off the search for them (they were more than just a little irked that the duo had thoroughly destroyed a nearby satrap, and vengeance upon the two was something they were after). Napoleon had been complaining about the fact that they would be stuck in the snowed-over woods for an unspecified amount of time, and Illya had just listened to his rants, amused, as he approached the cabin.
But what surprised Illya was that Napoleon was pacing around outside the cabin as he approached.
“You did not have to wait out here in the cold for me,” Illya said, looking surprised and amused.
“Ah, sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn’t,” Napoleon said. “Well, I mean, I was waiting for you, of course, but, ah… I think we’ll need to find a different safehouse. This one has… issues.”
Illya arched an eyebrow, wondering why his partner was willing to suffer in the cold rather than seek the warmth of the cabin.
“Is something the matter, Napoleon?”
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. …Assuming you don’t mind sharing our cabin with a swarm of bees.”
“…What.”
“I hope you like honey on your breakfast toast,” Napoleon said, glibly, as he indicated the door.
Illya opened the door and peeked inside; at first, he didn’t see anything at all, but he eventually saw a large huddle of bees on the ceiling, spreading down the outside of the visible part of the chimney bricks. It was a fairly large group of bees, and the huddle was an impressive size indeed. Clearly, this safehouse had not been used in a long time.
“They are not swarming, Napoleon; they are huddling to keep warm due to the cold!” Illya chided him. “They shall not be making honey during the winter, either. And they won’t be bothering with us, lest we attempt to bother them.”
“And you’re not at all worried that a wayward wisp of smoke or the heat from the fire might cause them to stir in the middle of the night while we’re asleep?”
Illya looked back at him with a dark expression.
“I was not until you brought it up,” he muttered. Now the thought wouldn’t leave his head.
Napoleon gave him an apologetic look.
“…Well, now what?” the American asked.
The two of them turned as they heard gunshots in the distance; they turned back to each other, silently realizing that with THRUSH out there, their options were limited as to what they could do.
“How are we on blankets?” Illya asked
“Pretty good; enough to make a nice wall against any winter wind.”
“…Then let’s dispense with the fire and make do with the blankets.”
“Good idea. And, of course, we’ll bee-ware.”
Illya groaned at the pun. It was going to be a long night…
And I also have more 30-Day MFU meme answers--
Day 13: Favorite recycled set/prop/location
The skinny, iron spiral stairwell. I really have no reason for it other than spiral stairwells are always cool.
Day 14: Favorite quote
“We have each other”
This quote perfect and succinctly summarizes Napoleon and Illya’s relationship in four words. Uttered by Illya in the penultimate affair, it’s heard after a season of trials and tribulations involving false accusations, pain, torture, brainwashing, presumed death, and tested loyalties that never broke, in spite of the things they went through.
And as I mentioned once before (and I’m literally copy/pasting from that older entry), it’s not just “Well, at least we’re not alone” (though it is partly that), it’s also partly “All that stuff we just saw? That’ll never happen to us. We’ll never betray each other like that. We’ve been through too much together, and we’ll get through a lot more, too.”
So, yes, that “We have each other,” is a beautiful line on its own (especially since it’s coming from Illya, who usually doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve), but even moreso when you realize that it’s accompanied by a silent “And we always will, too.”
Day 15: Favorite fight scene/action sequence
I mentioned the similarities between my favorite episode, “The Gazebo in the Maze Affair,” and The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past, so, naturally, my favorite fight scene has to be when Napoleon goes into total Link mode, grabs a sword, and duels for Illya’s (and the innocent of the week’s) freedom.
Seriously, all that was missing in this scene was the Hyrule Castle theme.
Day 16: Episode you’ve most recently watched
At the time I posted the answer on tumblr, it was "The Shark Affair"
Day 17: Episode you’ve rewatched the most
“The Off-Broadway Affair.” Despite the fact that “Gazebo” is my favorite, I seem to have rewatched this the most. I do love it a lot and it’s definitely within my top ten, but I guess it’s easier to watch since I get really, really into “Gazebo” and all the intense S4 episodes, so this episode is less… involved to watch and a good episode to see during mealtimes, which is when I usually watch stuff.
Day 18: First episode you remember seeing
“The Odd Man Affair” - this was the first episode I saw because Faye recommended it to me and it was readily available. She had also recommended to me “Summit Five Affair,” which aired at a local channel at 2AM the night after I came back from India and was let-lagged as all get-out, so I watched it. While I thought “Odd Man” was good, it was “Summit Five” that made me fall head over heels for Napoleon (and Robert) and dragged me into the series for good.
Day 19: Saddest moment
Acts III and IV of “The THRUSH Roulette Affair.” It’s not only sad in the tear-jerking sense, but it is also sad on a meta level when you think about it-it’s already been established that this latest THRUSH brainwashing method works by tapping into the victim’s deepest, darkest fear. What does Illya see? Napoleon. The scene itself is rather vague, but I chose to interpret it specifically as Illya is afraid of Napoleon one day turning on him/treating him cruelly (sort of supported by the fact that the voice clips that THRUSH played were of Napoleon yelling his name while sounding very upset). And it makes sense in a way-Illya is a loner and doesn’t open his heart up to just anyone-even the official character bio states that Napoleon is the only one to have ever gotten close to him; having the one person he loves and trusts most turning on him would be a very valid fear indeed.
But, still, it is sad that that’s a thing that Illya is dealing with, and also sad that the brainwashing worked-and also sad that Napoleon doesn’t realize it at first and looks so happy to see Illya again before Illya starts shooting at him. Thankfully, Napoleon is able to snap him out of it and they’re soon in sync again, but it’s still jarring to see two people so devoted to each other temporarily on opposite sides.
Day 20: Funniest moment
The raft scene from “The Shark Affair” - the scene where I actually had to pause the video because I was literally laughing too hard. In order to give them a believable cover, Waverly literally leaves them adrift in the middle of the Pacific.
That’s not even the best part; they spend hours stuck on that stupid raft, it’s 3 AM and Illya would be ready to kill something if he wasn’t so seasick, and finally, they hear a ship’s horn, leading to this priceless exchange-
Illya: Is that [the ship we’re looking for]?
Napoleon: Do we really care!?
Day 21: Most intense moment
“The Fiddlesticks Affair.” After going over their master plan in theory, Illya questions what’s going to happen to him if Napoleon doesn’t deactivate the electrically-wired barrier before he starts cutting into the vault room, and Napoleon glibly jokes that Illya will be “splattered across the Caribbean.”
Cue the actual mission, and... Napoleon is no longer laughing about it when he is physically unable to reach the controls to deactivate the barrier. He’s convinced that he’s let his partner down--that Illya is going to die as a result of his failure, and he is absolutely devastated
Summary: In which there’s a problem with the cabin that serves as an U.N.C.L.E. safehouse…
Cross-posted to AO3.
Illya was used to the cold weather, and, indeed, relished the coating of white snow on the ground as he headed to the cabin where he was supposed to meet Napoleon, where they were to lie low until the overzealous THRUSH agents in the area called off the search for them (they were more than just a little irked that the duo had thoroughly destroyed a nearby satrap, and vengeance upon the two was something they were after). Napoleon had been complaining about the fact that they would be stuck in the snowed-over woods for an unspecified amount of time, and Illya had just listened to his rants, amused, as he approached the cabin.
But what surprised Illya was that Napoleon was pacing around outside the cabin as he approached.
“You did not have to wait out here in the cold for me,” Illya said, looking surprised and amused.
“Ah, sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn’t,” Napoleon said. “Well, I mean, I was waiting for you, of course, but, ah… I think we’ll need to find a different safehouse. This one has… issues.”
Illya arched an eyebrow, wondering why his partner was willing to suffer in the cold rather than seek the warmth of the cabin.
“Is something the matter, Napoleon?”
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. …Assuming you don’t mind sharing our cabin with a swarm of bees.”
“…What.”
“I hope you like honey on your breakfast toast,” Napoleon said, glibly, as he indicated the door.
Illya opened the door and peeked inside; at first, he didn’t see anything at all, but he eventually saw a large huddle of bees on the ceiling, spreading down the outside of the visible part of the chimney bricks. It was a fairly large group of bees, and the huddle was an impressive size indeed. Clearly, this safehouse had not been used in a long time.
“They are not swarming, Napoleon; they are huddling to keep warm due to the cold!” Illya chided him. “They shall not be making honey during the winter, either. And they won’t be bothering with us, lest we attempt to bother them.”
“And you’re not at all worried that a wayward wisp of smoke or the heat from the fire might cause them to stir in the middle of the night while we’re asleep?”
Illya looked back at him with a dark expression.
“I was not until you brought it up,” he muttered. Now the thought wouldn’t leave his head.
Napoleon gave him an apologetic look.
“…Well, now what?” the American asked.
The two of them turned as they heard gunshots in the distance; they turned back to each other, silently realizing that with THRUSH out there, their options were limited as to what they could do.
“How are we on blankets?” Illya asked
“Pretty good; enough to make a nice wall against any winter wind.”
“…Then let’s dispense with the fire and make do with the blankets.”
“Good idea. And, of course, we’ll bee-ware.”
Illya groaned at the pun. It was going to be a long night…
And I also have more 30-Day MFU meme answers--
Day 13: Favorite recycled set/prop/location
The skinny, iron spiral stairwell. I really have no reason for it other than spiral stairwells are always cool.
Day 14: Favorite quote
“We have each other”
This quote perfect and succinctly summarizes Napoleon and Illya’s relationship in four words. Uttered by Illya in the penultimate affair, it’s heard after a season of trials and tribulations involving false accusations, pain, torture, brainwashing, presumed death, and tested loyalties that never broke, in spite of the things they went through.
And as I mentioned once before (and I’m literally copy/pasting from that older entry), it’s not just “Well, at least we’re not alone” (though it is partly that), it’s also partly “All that stuff we just saw? That’ll never happen to us. We’ll never betray each other like that. We’ve been through too much together, and we’ll get through a lot more, too.”
So, yes, that “We have each other,” is a beautiful line on its own (especially since it’s coming from Illya, who usually doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve), but even moreso when you realize that it’s accompanied by a silent “And we always will, too.”
Day 15: Favorite fight scene/action sequence
I mentioned the similarities between my favorite episode, “The Gazebo in the Maze Affair,” and The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past, so, naturally, my favorite fight scene has to be when Napoleon goes into total Link mode, grabs a sword, and duels for Illya’s (and the innocent of the week’s) freedom.
Seriously, all that was missing in this scene was the Hyrule Castle theme.
Day 16: Episode you’ve most recently watched
At the time I posted the answer on tumblr, it was "The Shark Affair"
Day 17: Episode you’ve rewatched the most
“The Off-Broadway Affair.” Despite the fact that “Gazebo” is my favorite, I seem to have rewatched this the most. I do love it a lot and it’s definitely within my top ten, but I guess it’s easier to watch since I get really, really into “Gazebo” and all the intense S4 episodes, so this episode is less… involved to watch and a good episode to see during mealtimes, which is when I usually watch stuff.
Day 18: First episode you remember seeing
“The Odd Man Affair” - this was the first episode I saw because Faye recommended it to me and it was readily available. She had also recommended to me “Summit Five Affair,” which aired at a local channel at 2AM the night after I came back from India and was let-lagged as all get-out, so I watched it. While I thought “Odd Man” was good, it was “Summit Five” that made me fall head over heels for Napoleon (and Robert) and dragged me into the series for good.
Day 19: Saddest moment
Acts III and IV of “The THRUSH Roulette Affair.” It’s not only sad in the tear-jerking sense, but it is also sad on a meta level when you think about it-it’s already been established that this latest THRUSH brainwashing method works by tapping into the victim’s deepest, darkest fear. What does Illya see? Napoleon. The scene itself is rather vague, but I chose to interpret it specifically as Illya is afraid of Napoleon one day turning on him/treating him cruelly (sort of supported by the fact that the voice clips that THRUSH played were of Napoleon yelling his name while sounding very upset). And it makes sense in a way-Illya is a loner and doesn’t open his heart up to just anyone-even the official character bio states that Napoleon is the only one to have ever gotten close to him; having the one person he loves and trusts most turning on him would be a very valid fear indeed.
But, still, it is sad that that’s a thing that Illya is dealing with, and also sad that the brainwashing worked-and also sad that Napoleon doesn’t realize it at first and looks so happy to see Illya again before Illya starts shooting at him. Thankfully, Napoleon is able to snap him out of it and they’re soon in sync again, but it’s still jarring to see two people so devoted to each other temporarily on opposite sides.
Day 20: Funniest moment
The raft scene from “The Shark Affair” - the scene where I actually had to pause the video because I was literally laughing too hard. In order to give them a believable cover, Waverly literally leaves them adrift in the middle of the Pacific.
That’s not even the best part; they spend hours stuck on that stupid raft, it’s 3 AM and Illya would be ready to kill something if he wasn’t so seasick, and finally, they hear a ship’s horn, leading to this priceless exchange-
Illya: Is that [the ship we’re looking for]?
Napoleon: Do we really care!?
Day 21: Most intense moment
“The Fiddlesticks Affair.” After going over their master plan in theory, Illya questions what’s going to happen to him if Napoleon doesn’t deactivate the electrically-wired barrier before he starts cutting into the vault room, and Napoleon glibly jokes that Illya will be “splattered across the Caribbean.”
Cue the actual mission, and... Napoleon is no longer laughing about it when he is physically unable to reach the controls to deactivate the barrier. He’s convinced that he’s let his partner down--that Illya is going to die as a result of his failure, and he is absolutely devastated