This was written by my evil twin
Earlier this summer I was writing a five-times fic with Leoben. At one point I had a section with Gaius talking to Leoben on the cylon basestar; that bit kept degenerating from drama to weird sort-of comedy, so I decided to be as degenerate as possible and finish that part separately.
So: One Time Gaius Baltar Was Left Speechless; PG-13 for silliness, sly implications and out-of-character behavior
Tapping his foot on the floor again--stop. He was more jittery than he liked to admit; it was exhausting, trying to please two females with such stamina. Two willing females seemed ideal, but he just wasn't cut out for this. He worried what would happen if D'Anna wasn't satisfied; tried to block the thought when his foot started tapping again. Maybe he should walk around instead of sitting. He stood up and started toward the doorway.
That's when a Leoben walked into the room. He smiled at Gaius, which made him feel even more nervous. Right now he'd rather be ignored.
"You scored with D'Anna," he said with another worrisome grin. Gaius twitched. Word had already gotten around, then. Or maybe the knowledge could be downloaded? Maybe all those details, too? "She slapped me around a few times when I was stream-talking, but it never led to anything else."
What was he supposed to say to that?
"But that's okay. I'm really not that into other cylons, you know? Humans are so passionate and intense. It's like riding down a waterfall..."
Was Leoben hitting on him? Because he had standards. Not that he couldn't swing that way, but the male cylons weren't that appealing. Leoben wasn't too bad--definitely a bit weather-worn; and Simon was okay, but it was definitely Man who had designed the cylons; a woman would never have made such disparate gender designs.
Oh wait, Leoben was talking about Captain Thrace now. Never mind.
"... and settle down in a house with a creek nearby so we could go swimming..."
The cylon didn't seem to stop for breath. Gaius looked longingly at the doorway. Maybe if he ran out? But the cylons had that freakish speed and strength.
"... and her destiny will be fulfilled when we reach Earth together and bring forth the next generation..."
Gods, what had he done to deserve this? No answer. He tried again: One True (Cylon) God, help me! Still no response.
"... so what do you think it means if a human woman tells you that she loves you and kisses you, but after that she stabs you in the gut with a knife?"
"Um..." Gaius stammered. "Maybe she has mixed feelings?" He started edging toward the exit but then two cylon centurions clanked into the doorway, red eyes turned toward him. Leoben kept talking. Oh Lords of Kobol, God, whatever--Cylon endurance was going to be the death of him.
fin
Still working on some of the prompts y'all gave me. If meetings are as boring tomorrow as they were this afternoon, I should have lots to post tomorrow.
eta: just finished typing the ficlet for daybreak777's prompt of Gaeta/Racetrack, need.
So: One Time Gaius Baltar Was Left Speechless; PG-13 for silliness, sly implications and out-of-character behavior
Tapping his foot on the floor again--stop. He was more jittery than he liked to admit; it was exhausting, trying to please two females with such stamina. Two willing females seemed ideal, but he just wasn't cut out for this. He worried what would happen if D'Anna wasn't satisfied; tried to block the thought when his foot started tapping again. Maybe he should walk around instead of sitting. He stood up and started toward the doorway.
That's when a Leoben walked into the room. He smiled at Gaius, which made him feel even more nervous. Right now he'd rather be ignored.
"You scored with D'Anna," he said with another worrisome grin. Gaius twitched. Word had already gotten around, then. Or maybe the knowledge could be downloaded? Maybe all those details, too? "She slapped me around a few times when I was stream-talking, but it never led to anything else."
What was he supposed to say to that?
"But that's okay. I'm really not that into other cylons, you know? Humans are so passionate and intense. It's like riding down a waterfall..."
Was Leoben hitting on him? Because he had standards. Not that he couldn't swing that way, but the male cylons weren't that appealing. Leoben wasn't too bad--definitely a bit weather-worn; and Simon was okay, but it was definitely Man who had designed the cylons; a woman would never have made such disparate gender designs.
Oh wait, Leoben was talking about Captain Thrace now. Never mind.
"... and settle down in a house with a creek nearby so we could go swimming..."
The cylon didn't seem to stop for breath. Gaius looked longingly at the doorway. Maybe if he ran out? But the cylons had that freakish speed and strength.
"... and her destiny will be fulfilled when we reach Earth together and bring forth the next generation..."
Gods, what had he done to deserve this? No answer. He tried again: One True (Cylon) God, help me! Still no response.
"... so what do you think it means if a human woman tells you that she loves you and kisses you, but after that she stabs you in the gut with a knife?"
"Um..." Gaius stammered. "Maybe she has mixed feelings?" He started edging toward the exit but then two cylon centurions clanked into the doorway, red eyes turned toward him. Leoben kept talking. Oh Lords of Kobol, God, whatever--Cylon endurance was going to be the death of him.
fin
Still working on some of the prompts y'all gave me. If meetings are as boring tomorrow as they were this afternoon, I should have lots to post tomorrow.
eta: just finished typing the ficlet for daybreak777's prompt of Gaeta/Racetrack, need.