Comments | rose_griffes: BSG fic: Nemesis, PG-13 (Jean Barolay, Leoben Conoy)

rose_griffes

BSG fic: Nemesis, PG-13 (Jean Barolay, Leoben Conoy)

Jun 28, 2007 09:44

It's done! Yay!

title: Nemesis
rating: PG-13 for violence
beta-reader: the fabulous jashyr
characters: Jean Barolay, Leoben Conoy
genre: angst, character study, action
length: 4600+ words
spoilers: from mini-series through 2.5 'The Farm'
Most of the story is set just after the initial Cylon attack on Caprica

prolix_allie wrote a commentary on this story.

( The world ended with a second of static on the wireless. )

myfic, leoben, bsg

Comments 31

pataka02 June 28 2007, 15:06:00 UTC

Yay, it's done! I haven't read it yet, but I just wanted to be the first to comment because I'm crazy like that, and to let you now how excited I am about it.

Hopefully I will find time today to read it during work... hehe. Congrats on finishing!

rose_griffes June 29 2007, 03:07:15 UTC

*points to icon*

pataka02 June 29 2007, 17:05:00 UTC

So normally your teasing would result in no comment, but the everlasting vocabulary love that binds us means I have to write something! Hehe...

What an amazingly different take on Jean. I love that she's not a C-Buck, that she's not sleeping with Anders, that she has her own personal history. I admit, I was a little wary at first because Jean as a character normally doesn't appeal to me, but you made this story so interesting.

And I love the games that Leoben plays with her... your Leoben is so spot on.

"I could take a look at it, see if I can fix it." He smiled for the first time. "I'm good with machines."

Umm, dear Leoben, I love you. Go swim with Kara in the river!

Awesome work... seriously, I'm so impressed. Now I feel like I should write something but my mind is all dried up.

Yay for YOU!

rose_griffes June 29 2007, 19:12:43 UTC

So normally your teasing would result in no comment, but the everlasting vocabulary love that binds us means I have to write something!

Whew, thank goodness for E. V. L. (I made another Princess Bride icon to express my enthusiasm. I need better icon skills but that's okay)

And I love the games that Leoben plays with her... your Leoben is so spot on.

Yay! The Leoben parts were what took the longest--his dialogue, in particular. He's so tricky in so many ways...

Thread 5

dionusia June 28 2007, 22:54:14 UTC

Really beautifully done. I loved the dreams of revenge and the foreshadowing of her future life as a ruthless resistance fighter, and the recurring theme of the streams:

It didn't matter, none of it mattered; his speech flowed past her and left her untouched.

Brava!

rose_griffes June 29 2007, 03:09:23 UTC

Oh thank you! I was hoping this would feel like a plausible explanation for her fierceness and determination later on.

the recurring theme of the streams

Well, since Leoben is in the story I figured it was appropriate. Heh. (Um, I have a slight Leoben obsession.)

lizardbeth_j June 29 2007, 06:46:14 UTC

oo very interesting. Backstory on Jean is always a plus, and this is well-drawn. And her meeting Leoben is just creepy (in a good way).

rose_griffes June 29 2007, 14:58:12 UTC

I'm glad it was interesting for you. I'm still a bit surprised that my brain decided to write so much about Jean, considering how little we know about her. (This is the longest story I've done so far.)

And her meeting Leoben is just creepy (in a good way).

Leoben has a tendency to show up in a lot of what I write. I'm not sure what that says about me... :-)

daybreak777 June 29 2007, 17:32:04 UTC

Ooh, another story! And it seems like another Leoben. This is not the one from Prophecy.

I really like Jean in this. I like when she keeps killing her lover and his girlfriend. Funny, I kept picturing the the other woman as number Six, even though I know Jean would never waste her time with someone like Gaius Baltar. Still the image remained.

"I could take a look at it, see if I can fix it." He smiled for the first time. "I'm good with machines."Heh. Recently, people have been writing Leoben with a wry sense of humor and it's an interesting take on him. I smiled at this line later on when I realized who he was (I thought he was Anders at first ( ... )

rose_griffes June 29 2007, 19:27:54 UTC

Yay, you liked it! Thanks for letting me know!

And it seems like another Leoben. This is not the one from Prophecy.

I lost count of how many times I watch 'Flesh and Bone' and the other episodes with Leoben while writing this fic. All the Leobens were swirling around in my head by the end. *feels dizzy*

Funny, I kept picturing the the other woman as number Six

That's so amusing, I sort of had her in mind for a while too. By the end I decided the blonde was, well, just some blonde. But your take on Jean not wasting time with Baltar--probably very true. *laughs*

Is Jean prophetic? Was she sensing what Leoben wanted from her? I really like that we never really know. That's Leoben, you never really know his agenda.

I'll just say that certain parts of Jean's dreams were highly influenced by our conversation re: the commentfic you wrote for me. Heh. (You were inspirational!)

daybreak777 June 29 2007, 21:57:44 UTC

All the Leobens were swirling around in my head by the end.
Yeah, it was good for me to list the other Leobens in a comment to you last week. They can be confusing. I suddenly have even more sympathy for Kara being trapped with them him.

Glad to be inspirational! Leoben writers (yay, for Leoben writers!) seem to be on a similar wavelength lately. The idea of dreamwalking (coined from Roswell) seems to be intriguing and everyone has a different take on it. (Though it's all kind of appropriately dreamy and dizzying and creepy.) That strawberry-blonde baby haunts me, too.

lyssie June 30 2007, 05:12:40 UTC

Oh, I love my girl. *happy sigh*

I was totally going to be the second person to comment, but I went to bed, worked, rebooted and went to Summerfest. So it took a while to get back here.

Despite the fact that the BSG wiki claims Jean is one of Sam's C-Bucs, we've never actually had canon confirmation of this. Your version of her life is just as valid. And quite lovely, too.

I love her grandfather, and the cabin, and her and Leoben simply exploring the area around them.

The immediate decision to shoot him is very Jean--and her dreams (nightmares) are, too. I'm amused about the baby, since she's never quite struck me as motherly.

When I think about what drives her, I always come back to Caprica stepping on the ramp of the raptor, and Jean's immediately got her pistol out and pointed--even in the safety of the hangar, she was still jumpy.

rose_griffes June 30 2007, 11:47:22 UTC

Oh thank you! My brain's been running away with this story idea for over a month, so I'm glad someone else besides me likes it. wish I wrote faster

(I didn't know that about BSG Wiki, but I'm glad I was ignorant while writing this. And yes, canon leaves all kinds of open space.)

The immediate decision to shoot him is very Jean--and her dreams (nightmares) are, too.
When I think about what drives her, I always come back to Caprica stepping on the ramp of the raptor, and Jean's immediately got her pistol out and pointed

Yes! Rewatching bunches of times for a fic paid off--I was struck by that same thing, her pointing the gun at Caprica so quickly; plus her general demeanor of shoot first, ask questions later... I don't think she was ever very trusting, even before my made-up Leoben met her and before her lover slept with someone else.

I'm amused about the baby, since she's never quite struck me as motherly.

Well, that's just Leoben being wishful and meddlesome. Heh.