bsg ficlet again because I know no shame
I am a spaz. I wrote a kid today. I have hated so many fics with kids because the voices never sound right to me. *sigh* At least it's short.
SHE'S ONLY MOSTLY DEAD! (that's for daybreak777)
ficlet: post-Maelstrom Kara, head!Leoben, kid, daddy issues...
She was sitting on the coffee table again. He was sitting on the chair, knees bumping hers. The mandala spun on the wall. Or maybe she just thought it did. She felt empty, light. "This isn't how I imagined death," she said, looking at him.
"You think this is death."
"Isn't it?"
He didn't answer for a moment, then he smiled at her. "Wait and see," he said calmly. He took her by the hand, pulled her up and said, "We have a lot to do still." She blinked; they were in the cell on New Caprica. She felt her chest tighten, remembered fear washing over her. She saw bodies on the floor, bloodstains on the carpet (on the staircase). By the sofa a small blonde-haired girl was crying. As soon as the girl spotted them she ran behind the sofa.
"No. I don't want this."
"You still don't see what I see. Look again." He kissed her on the forehead. She opened her eyes again. No bodies, no blood. She tried to imagine that the little girl wasn't there either, but no luck. She heard the quiet sniffles coming from that side of the room.
"Go take care of her. I'll be here as soon as you need me." Then he was gone.
She thought about calling for him to come back, but she wouldn't ask for help, not even of this not-Leoben who had slid through the cracks of her psyche.
She sighed and walked over by the couch. She knelt near the edge and said, "Kacey?"
A blonde head popped out for a moment. She heard a tiny, sullen voice say, "My name's not Kacey." Then the girl was out of view behind the couch again. Gods... it wasn't Kacey. Her hair was straighter, her eyes brown-green. She was bigger, too, though not as big as the hallucination of herself in the viper and in the enlisted head. Kara didn't know how old this girl was; older than three, younger than eight?
Kara touched her forehead and sighed. "You should probably come out now." No answer. "Okay then, don't," she muttered. She sat in the middle of the sofa and waited. She finally heard a rustling sound, then the girl was sitting in the corner of the sofa, pulled as far away from her as possible. They had the same pose for a moment--knees drawn up, face looking down. Kara put her feet on the floor.
"So... what's wrong?"
The girl's reply was an angry look. Finally a few words popped out: "Daddy's gone."
"I'm sorry." It sounded so inadequate. "My daddy went away too."
Kara waited. The child couldn't resist the silence. "It's my fault," she whispered, and her voice cracked.
Five years old.
Kara looked at the pieces from above. More of them fell into place. This little girl, small face a crumpled flower speckled with tears. Kara knew what to do; after Kacey it felt almost natural. She pulled the child toward her, held her close. Hot tears sprinkled her shirt. "It wasn't your fault," she said quietly. "It could never be your fault." Finally the right words came out of her mouth. "It wasn't my fault." She added her own tears to the mix.
Leoben was watching them from the staircase.
eta: slight spoilers for season finale in comments.
SHE'S ONLY MOSTLY DEAD! (that's for daybreak777)
ficlet: post-Maelstrom Kara, head!Leoben, kid, daddy issues...
She was sitting on the coffee table again. He was sitting on the chair, knees bumping hers. The mandala spun on the wall. Or maybe she just thought it did. She felt empty, light. "This isn't how I imagined death," she said, looking at him.
"You think this is death."
"Isn't it?"
He didn't answer for a moment, then he smiled at her. "Wait and see," he said calmly. He took her by the hand, pulled her up and said, "We have a lot to do still." She blinked; they were in the cell on New Caprica. She felt her chest tighten, remembered fear washing over her. She saw bodies on the floor, bloodstains on the carpet (on the staircase). By the sofa a small blonde-haired girl was crying. As soon as the girl spotted them she ran behind the sofa.
"No. I don't want this."
"You still don't see what I see. Look again." He kissed her on the forehead. She opened her eyes again. No bodies, no blood. She tried to imagine that the little girl wasn't there either, but no luck. She heard the quiet sniffles coming from that side of the room.
"Go take care of her. I'll be here as soon as you need me." Then he was gone.
She thought about calling for him to come back, but she wouldn't ask for help, not even of this not-Leoben who had slid through the cracks of her psyche.
She sighed and walked over by the couch. She knelt near the edge and said, "Kacey?"
A blonde head popped out for a moment. She heard a tiny, sullen voice say, "My name's not Kacey." Then the girl was out of view behind the couch again. Gods... it wasn't Kacey. Her hair was straighter, her eyes brown-green. She was bigger, too, though not as big as the hallucination of herself in the viper and in the enlisted head. Kara didn't know how old this girl was; older than three, younger than eight?
Kara touched her forehead and sighed. "You should probably come out now." No answer. "Okay then, don't," she muttered. She sat in the middle of the sofa and waited. She finally heard a rustling sound, then the girl was sitting in the corner of the sofa, pulled as far away from her as possible. They had the same pose for a moment--knees drawn up, face looking down. Kara put her feet on the floor.
"So... what's wrong?"
The girl's reply was an angry look. Finally a few words popped out: "Daddy's gone."
"I'm sorry." It sounded so inadequate. "My daddy went away too."
Kara waited. The child couldn't resist the silence. "It's my fault," she whispered, and her voice cracked.
Five years old.
Kara looked at the pieces from above. More of them fell into place. This little girl, small face a crumpled flower speckled with tears. Kara knew what to do; after Kacey it felt almost natural. She pulled the child toward her, held her close. Hot tears sprinkled her shirt. "It wasn't your fault," she said quietly. "It could never be your fault." Finally the right words came out of her mouth. "It wasn't my fault." She added her own tears to the mix.
Leoben was watching them from the staircase.
eta: slight spoilers for season finale in comments.