[fic] Keep Me From Floating Away

[rose_fortress]

Title: Keep Me From Floating Away
Pairings: Greece/Japan, Greece/the sea
Genre: Romance/Philosophical
Rating: PG-15 for non-explicit sexual references.
Summary: Being a selkie means being "free" to roam about in the sea, but Heracles can't help hoping that Kiku grounds him enough to keep him from floating away.
Notes: Written for the kink meme

Comments

[shibbyone]

So I had no idea what a selkie was before reading this, so the whole seal thing befuddled me a little bit, but aside from that, oh, this was beautiful. The imagery was striking, I loved the detail paid to Japan's appearances I kind of have a crush on him so thanks for that and Greece's thoughts were really intriguing to read. I hate it when fanfic authors make him think as slowly as he speaks-- I like to think that he actually thinks about a lot of things all at once and that's why he speaks so slowly. Too many things happening! But anyway.

Omg this was so lovely, please write them more! I noticed a couple awkward sentences but nothing so major that I was like "AHH GLARING ERROR." And I learned about selkies from this! Hooray education! Now back to my homework! Thanks for the break <3

[rose_fortress]

I'm glad you enjoyed it in spite of being confused at first, and that you considered my imagery to be beautiful. That's a really high compliment. :3

That's what I think about Greece too. He doesn't speak fast because his mind is the one that's running fast.

I'll definitely write more for them, because I ship them like burning.

Which sentences did you think were awkward? I'll take any opportunity to improve my writing, so please don't hesitate to tell me which parts of this you think could use some polishing/editing. :)

[shibbyone]

"The house with white walls and gray roof where there is warm food and warm blankets and cats cuter than even pups."

That sentence is the big uh-oh sentence that really struck me when I first read it... it seems to have no subject? I know what you're trying to say/did say, the sentence is just awkward. I'll comment if I find others!

[rose_fortress]

Ah, I see. I was trying to give snippets of Heracles' memories about his life with Kiku. That sentence was meant to have a parallel structure with the previous two sentences about sunlight and sand castles, but I can now see how it's more awkward-sounding than them. Would "The white-walled and gray-roofed house where he finds warm food, warm blankets, and cats as cute as seal pups" read better?

[charlzway]

I saw this floating around on the kinkmeme, and now I realize it's you who wrote it! :3

This was a really sweet, comtemplative piece, and I really like your writing style as well. It's not too wordy that it overwhelms the reader, but descriptive enough that it really helped me see and feel what Greece felt as he was swimming, thinking through the sea. I always envy writers who can fit so much detail with just enough words and not be tl;dr like I tend to be OTL

Anyway, I think you portrayed Greece's inner conflict well, and all that thought process of his.. so IC!

And I loved how Kiku asks whether Heracles wants to check on the cats like they were adopted Giripan cat-children haha. That was cuteness overload there ♥♥♥!

[rose_fortress]

*blushes* Thank you so much for the lovely comment! I was trying to strike that balance between "too sketchy descriptions" and "too purple prose," so I'm happy to hear that it worked for you.

The cats are their children, in a sense, and cats will never stop being cute. ♥ ♥ ♥

[lilith_kisaragi]

No matter what, I just cannot get tired of reading your fics.
Sorry if I seem a little, like, crazy, but girl, I just ADORE your writing. The flow of the narration, just o smooth; the personalities, just SO in-character; how each story is one ad only though the characters are the same; even your descriptions on characters I can say I have seen a million times.

This one, though, is particularly remarkable. I could say a load of things of why I say so, but, I guess you don't really need them, and, moreover, I don't really have words to say so. Honestly, great.

[rose_fortress]

*blushes* That's all right! I love knowing what I'm doing right and what I need to improve on, so your comments make me extremely happy. :D

I make an effort not to make all my fics sound the same and characterization is one of the things I'm most concerned with, so I'm glad to hear that they worked for you. ♥