(no subject)
When you are with someone abusive and controlling they manage to make you believe everything they say. Even the strongest, most independent person can have those tiny insecurities hidden away dragged up and used against them. You feel like you are drowning under a massive weight and if only for that person are you able to tread water... barely. The idea of surviving without them is not negotiable since they make you believe life without them would be worse for you... so you just keep taking it.
For some, there's never a point reached where they accept that drowning has to be better than this. When I hit that point I let go of that rotten piece of drift and it was amazing... I could do anything.
Still, the controlling, abusive person is going to keep trying to assert their control on you, but you will see it from an entirely new perspective. It is a joke. You wonder how you ever listened to that shit from the beginning, how it had any sort of power.
The last thing it ever said about me [to my knowledge] was I was doomed to spectacular failure.
Aside from what I have accomplished with my music [which I need to work on more], I recently accepted a job offer from the office of one of the best surgeons in Seattle. It has taken about a year and a half of stepping up slowly from office to office, but I finally made it.
Time isn't so massive to me anymore... and in no way will my life ever be a failure.
I'm planning out my course of action with school for the fall. I have been working on some really great art and restoration projects [including the restoration of a gorgeous Victorian pinch toe coffin I recently completed and am now searching out the perfect memorial plaque for the lid]. Music has been coming along more in the form of live performances rather than recordings for the time being... but the opportunities and outcomes have been amazing. I chatted with an amazing artist last night at an oddities store [at which a number of pieces from my own collection were at after a great meeting previously with the owners] opening regarding some possible collaboration work on pieces involving Victorian mourning.
I feel like I'm on the verge of something amazing... I just need to stay the creative, hungry for new experiences and knowledge person I've become and it will all come together. I do feel like I'm in the perfect place for all of this to happen... every day I am inspired by the gorgeous mountains and water that surround me.
Now that the weather is warming up I'm looking forward to connecting with people more and getting out of the house to do more stuff. An Occultural Movie night with Northwest Film Forum, another night down at Velvet for goff musics and artists, Oneohtrix Point Never playing over by UW, Justice playing later this month... thinking of having a big yard sale to do some spring cleaning and enjoy some sunshine... time to get active!
No... failure isn't in my vocabulary and with that, there's never a reason to even think about such hideous negativity ever again.
Up and up and never looking back!
For some, there's never a point reached where they accept that drowning has to be better than this. When I hit that point I let go of that rotten piece of drift and it was amazing... I could do anything.
Still, the controlling, abusive person is going to keep trying to assert their control on you, but you will see it from an entirely new perspective. It is a joke. You wonder how you ever listened to that shit from the beginning, how it had any sort of power.
The last thing it ever said about me [to my knowledge] was I was doomed to spectacular failure.
Aside from what I have accomplished with my music [which I need to work on more], I recently accepted a job offer from the office of one of the best surgeons in Seattle. It has taken about a year and a half of stepping up slowly from office to office, but I finally made it.
Time isn't so massive to me anymore... and in no way will my life ever be a failure.
I'm planning out my course of action with school for the fall. I have been working on some really great art and restoration projects [including the restoration of a gorgeous Victorian pinch toe coffin I recently completed and am now searching out the perfect memorial plaque for the lid]. Music has been coming along more in the form of live performances rather than recordings for the time being... but the opportunities and outcomes have been amazing. I chatted with an amazing artist last night at an oddities store [at which a number of pieces from my own collection were at after a great meeting previously with the owners] opening regarding some possible collaboration work on pieces involving Victorian mourning.
I feel like I'm on the verge of something amazing... I just need to stay the creative, hungry for new experiences and knowledge person I've become and it will all come together. I do feel like I'm in the perfect place for all of this to happen... every day I am inspired by the gorgeous mountains and water that surround me.
Now that the weather is warming up I'm looking forward to connecting with people more and getting out of the house to do more stuff. An Occultural Movie night with Northwest Film Forum, another night down at Velvet for goff musics and artists, Oneohtrix Point Never playing over by UW, Justice playing later this month... thinking of having a big yard sale to do some spring cleaning and enjoy some sunshine... time to get active!
No... failure isn't in my vocabulary and with that, there's never a reason to even think about such hideous negativity ever again.
Up and up and never looking back!