It Slices, It Dices ... It's a Drabble-Matic!
Actually, it induces fits of giggles. Move that coffee away from the keyboard! Ready? LJ-cut 'cause it's kinda long.
You don't have to drink too many hypervodkas to write like this. Just plug a few words into the Drabble-Matic! Instant romance!
The Battle For The Coffee Cup
On a roof, the Doctor jumped his coffee cup. He had been busy with the coffee cup for hours and now wanted nothing more than a heartbreaking cuddle or a slim massage from his lover Jack.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his gorgeous Jack appeared at the door, grinning adorably.
"Put down the coffee cup," Jack said sweetly. "Unless you want me to jump that coffee cup on your eyebrow."
The Doctor put down the coffee cup. He was limpid. He had never seen Jack so floppy before and it made him lanky.
Jack picked up the coffee cup, then withdrew a sonic screwdriver from his thigh. "Don't be so limpid," Jack said with a floppy grimace. "A pterodactyl bit my foot this morning, and everything became robust. Now with this coffee cup and this sonic screwdriver I can sweetly rule the world!"
The Doctor clutched his sparkling foot lustily. This was his lover, his gorgeous Jack, now staring at him with a floppy thigh.
"Fight it!" the Doctor shouted. "The pterodactyl just wants the coffee cup for his own gorgeous devices! He doesn't love you, not the heartbreaking way I do!"
The Doctor could see Jack trembling lustily. The Doctor reached out his eyebrow and touched Jack's thigh sweetly. He was gorgeous, so gorgeous, but he knew only his sparkling love for Jack would break the pterodactyl's spell.
Sure enough, Jack dropped the coffee cup with a thunk. "Oh, Doctor," he squealed. "I'm so heartbreaking, can you ever forgive me?"
But the Doctor had already moved on a roof. Like stars that fill the sky in the middle of the desert, he pressed his eyebrow into Jack's thigh. And as they fell together in a robust fit of love, the coffee cup lay on the floor, lanky and forgotten.
The Disheveled Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Toshiko strode along the path, making for Glittering Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Luminous Water pistol, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Finger.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her seductive TARDIS just in time to face the shiny man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.
The man struck mischievously, and Toshiko barely raised her TARDIS to meet the attack. They fought long and woefully until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Toshiko found herself forced to one knee, the man's TARDIS pressed to her brilliant eyebrow. "I am the Doctor of Glittering Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Luminous Water pistol. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a faraway planet."
But Toshiko had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her TARDIS with a twist, overpowered the Doctor and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Toshiko said, looking down upon him.
the Doctor's shoulder shimmered like a rainy night in Cardiff when the fog rolls in. "I have underestimated you, Toshiko. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Toshiko's desire was enflamed. Her eyebrow throbbed and all her thoughts were to hug the Doctor like a chicken. Toshiko caressed the Doctor's lonely shoulder and he responded. They came together passionately, and their joining was as warm as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet eyeglasses!" Toshiko groaned and hugged the Doctor as hungrily as she could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Toshiko said. "That's where I put the Luminous Water pistol for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed energetically on the grass, forgetful of all but their manic love. "We will stay together forever," the Doctor said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Finger never got the Luminous Water pistol and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
A Hat In Time
On an adorable and impressive morning, Jack sat in the TARDIS. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His ear ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Donna to love someone with an impossible eyebrow?
Feistily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a charming muscular sonic, all on a summer's day. I wish my Donna would hurl me, in her own fiery way..."
"Do you?" Donna sat down beside Jack and put her hand on Jack's thigh. "I think that could be arranged."
Jack gasped slyly. "But what about my impossible eyebrow?"
"I like it," Donna said disarmingly. "I think it's addictive."
They came together and their kiss was like a desolate planet with the rain pouring down like tears.
"I love you," Jack said naughtily.
"I love you too," Donna replied and hurled him.
They bought a turtle, moved in together, and lived cleverly ever after.
The Battle For The Sonic
In the TARDIS, Jack hurled his sonic. He had been busy with the sonic for hours and now wanted nothing more than a muscular cuddle or an adorable massage from his lover Donna.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his impressive Donna appeared at the door, grinning disarmingly.
"Put down the sonic," Donna said cleverly. "Unless you want me to hurl that sonic on your ear."
Jack put down the sonic. He was impossible. He had never seen Donna so aggressive before and it made him obnoxious.
Donna picked up the sonic, then withdrew a hat from her thigh. "Don't be so impossible," Donna said with an aggressive grimace. "A turtle bit my eyebrow this morning, and everything became addictive. Now with this sonic and this hat I can cleverly rule the world!"
Jack clutched his charming eyebrow feistily. This was his lover, his impressive Donna, now staring at him with an aggressive thigh.
"Fight it!" Jack shouted. "The turtle just wants the sonic for his own impressive devices! He doesn't love you, not the muscular way I do!"
Jack could see Donna trembling feistily. Jack reached out his ear and touched Donna's thigh cleverly. He was impressive, so impressive, but he knew only his charming love for Donna would break the turtle's spell.
Sure enough, Donna dropped the sonic with a thunk. "Oh, Jack," she squealed. "I'm so muscular, can you ever forgive me?"
But Jack had already moved in the TARDIS. Like a desolate planet with the rain pouring down like tears, he pressed his ear into Donna's thigh. And as they fell together in an addictive fit of love, the sonic lay on the floor, obnoxious and forgotten.
I Saw Jack Kissing Santa Claus
The Doctor woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one limpid box that looked like a greatcoat.
Then the Doctor noticed that Jack was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
The Doctor thought that he would surprise Jack. Maybe even sneak up behind him and jump him on his slim thigh. That always made Jack sparkling.
The Doctor crept grumpily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its lanky lights, and the presents, heaped up oddly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jack. Kissing someone.
the Doctor was so angry, he picked up a sonic screwdriver from a table and threw it sweetly on a roof.
They both looked around.
"Jack, you robust pterodactyl!" the Doctor yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." the Doctor looked and then rubbed his foot and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Jack said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a floppy kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," the Doctor said lustily. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be heartbreaking."
That seemed reasonable. The Doctor went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, as the sun kisses the moon when the world is ending. He made the Doctor's eyebrow feel all gorgeous.
"You see?" Jack said adorably and the Doctor saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
The Gorgeous Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Jack and the Doctor went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Jack hit the Doctor in his foot with a big manic iceball. It hurt a lot, but Jack kissed it energetically and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really sparkling snow man!" Jack said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" the Doctor said. "That would be more floppy and politically correct."
"I know," Jack said. "We can make a snow pterodactyl. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up sweetly and made a limpid snow pterodactyl. Jack put on a coffee cup for the eyebrow. The pterodactyl was almost as big as the Doctor.
"It looks naughty," Jack said grumpily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," the Doctor said and held up a fiery sonic screwdriver. "I found this in the TARDIS." He put the sonic screwdriver onto the pterodactyl's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the pterodactyl, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl as the sun kisses the moon when the world is ending.
The Doctor screamed weirdly and ran but the snow pterodactyl chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow pterodactyl jumped him lustily.
"Nobody does that to my little Robust Greatcoat," Jack screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow pterodactyl through the back. It fell down and Jack kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" the Doctor said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The sonic screwdriver lay in the yard until an adorable child picked it up and took it home.
You can stop throwing tomatoes now. *ducks* Save some for ginger_rude! (Ginger_rude's original post is here.)
You don't have to drink too many hypervodkas to write like this. Just plug a few words into the Drabble-Matic! Instant romance!
The Battle For The Coffee Cup
On a roof, the Doctor jumped his coffee cup. He had been busy with the coffee cup for hours and now wanted nothing more than a heartbreaking cuddle or a slim massage from his lover Jack.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his gorgeous Jack appeared at the door, grinning adorably.
"Put down the coffee cup," Jack said sweetly. "Unless you want me to jump that coffee cup on your eyebrow."
The Doctor put down the coffee cup. He was limpid. He had never seen Jack so floppy before and it made him lanky.
Jack picked up the coffee cup, then withdrew a sonic screwdriver from his thigh. "Don't be so limpid," Jack said with a floppy grimace. "A pterodactyl bit my foot this morning, and everything became robust. Now with this coffee cup and this sonic screwdriver I can sweetly rule the world!"
The Doctor clutched his sparkling foot lustily. This was his lover, his gorgeous Jack, now staring at him with a floppy thigh.
"Fight it!" the Doctor shouted. "The pterodactyl just wants the coffee cup for his own gorgeous devices! He doesn't love you, not the heartbreaking way I do!"
The Doctor could see Jack trembling lustily. The Doctor reached out his eyebrow and touched Jack's thigh sweetly. He was gorgeous, so gorgeous, but he knew only his sparkling love for Jack would break the pterodactyl's spell.
Sure enough, Jack dropped the coffee cup with a thunk. "Oh, Doctor," he squealed. "I'm so heartbreaking, can you ever forgive me?"
But the Doctor had already moved on a roof. Like stars that fill the sky in the middle of the desert, he pressed his eyebrow into Jack's thigh. And as they fell together in a robust fit of love, the coffee cup lay on the floor, lanky and forgotten.
The Disheveled Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Toshiko strode along the path, making for Glittering Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Luminous Water pistol, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Finger.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her seductive TARDIS just in time to face the shiny man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.
The man struck mischievously, and Toshiko barely raised her TARDIS to meet the attack. They fought long and woefully until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Toshiko found herself forced to one knee, the man's TARDIS pressed to her brilliant eyebrow. "I am the Doctor of Glittering Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Luminous Water pistol. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a faraway planet."
But Toshiko had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her TARDIS with a twist, overpowered the Doctor and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Toshiko said, looking down upon him.
the Doctor's shoulder shimmered like a rainy night in Cardiff when the fog rolls in. "I have underestimated you, Toshiko. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Toshiko's desire was enflamed. Her eyebrow throbbed and all her thoughts were to hug the Doctor like a chicken. Toshiko caressed the Doctor's lonely shoulder and he responded. They came together passionately, and their joining was as warm as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet eyeglasses!" Toshiko groaned and hugged the Doctor as hungrily as she could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Toshiko said. "That's where I put the Luminous Water pistol for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed energetically on the grass, forgetful of all but their manic love. "We will stay together forever," the Doctor said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Finger never got the Luminous Water pistol and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
A Hat In Time
On an adorable and impressive morning, Jack sat in the TARDIS. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His ear ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Donna to love someone with an impossible eyebrow?
Feistily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a charming muscular sonic, all on a summer's day. I wish my Donna would hurl me, in her own fiery way..."
"Do you?" Donna sat down beside Jack and put her hand on Jack's thigh. "I think that could be arranged."
Jack gasped slyly. "But what about my impossible eyebrow?"
"I like it," Donna said disarmingly. "I think it's addictive."
They came together and their kiss was like a desolate planet with the rain pouring down like tears.
"I love you," Jack said naughtily.
"I love you too," Donna replied and hurled him.
They bought a turtle, moved in together, and lived cleverly ever after.
The Battle For The Sonic
In the TARDIS, Jack hurled his sonic. He had been busy with the sonic for hours and now wanted nothing more than a muscular cuddle or an adorable massage from his lover Donna.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his impressive Donna appeared at the door, grinning disarmingly.
"Put down the sonic," Donna said cleverly. "Unless you want me to hurl that sonic on your ear."
Jack put down the sonic. He was impossible. He had never seen Donna so aggressive before and it made him obnoxious.
Donna picked up the sonic, then withdrew a hat from her thigh. "Don't be so impossible," Donna said with an aggressive grimace. "A turtle bit my eyebrow this morning, and everything became addictive. Now with this sonic and this hat I can cleverly rule the world!"
Jack clutched his charming eyebrow feistily. This was his lover, his impressive Donna, now staring at him with an aggressive thigh.
"Fight it!" Jack shouted. "The turtle just wants the sonic for his own impressive devices! He doesn't love you, not the muscular way I do!"
Jack could see Donna trembling feistily. Jack reached out his ear and touched Donna's thigh cleverly. He was impressive, so impressive, but he knew only his charming love for Donna would break the turtle's spell.
Sure enough, Donna dropped the sonic with a thunk. "Oh, Jack," she squealed. "I'm so muscular, can you ever forgive me?"
But Jack had already moved in the TARDIS. Like a desolate planet with the rain pouring down like tears, he pressed his ear into Donna's thigh. And as they fell together in an addictive fit of love, the sonic lay on the floor, obnoxious and forgotten.
I Saw Jack Kissing Santa Claus
The Doctor woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one limpid box that looked like a greatcoat.
Then the Doctor noticed that Jack was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
The Doctor thought that he would surprise Jack. Maybe even sneak up behind him and jump him on his slim thigh. That always made Jack sparkling.
The Doctor crept grumpily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its lanky lights, and the presents, heaped up oddly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jack. Kissing someone.
the Doctor was so angry, he picked up a sonic screwdriver from a table and threw it sweetly on a roof.
They both looked around.
"Jack, you robust pterodactyl!" the Doctor yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." the Doctor looked and then rubbed his foot and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Jack said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a floppy kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," the Doctor said lustily. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be heartbreaking."
That seemed reasonable. The Doctor went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, as the sun kisses the moon when the world is ending. He made the Doctor's eyebrow feel all gorgeous.
"You see?" Jack said adorably and the Doctor saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
The Gorgeous Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Jack and the Doctor went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Jack hit the Doctor in his foot with a big manic iceball. It hurt a lot, but Jack kissed it energetically and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really sparkling snow man!" Jack said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" the Doctor said. "That would be more floppy and politically correct."
"I know," Jack said. "We can make a snow pterodactyl. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up sweetly and made a limpid snow pterodactyl. Jack put on a coffee cup for the eyebrow. The pterodactyl was almost as big as the Doctor.
"It looks naughty," Jack said grumpily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," the Doctor said and held up a fiery sonic screwdriver. "I found this in the TARDIS." He put the sonic screwdriver onto the pterodactyl's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the pterodactyl, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl as the sun kisses the moon when the world is ending.
The Doctor screamed weirdly and ran but the snow pterodactyl chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow pterodactyl jumped him lustily.
"Nobody does that to my little Robust Greatcoat," Jack screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow pterodactyl through the back. It fell down and Jack kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" the Doctor said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The sonic screwdriver lay in the yard until an adorable child picked it up and took it home.
You can stop throwing tomatoes now. *ducks* Save some for ginger_rude! (Ginger_rude's original post is here.)