Should I allow myself to get my hopes up?
So..Its all in the air.
Am I going to see him tomorrow?
Will he go to Jack's?
Should I even go.....?!
I'm so worried and dissapointed and sad and angry and confused.
I never expected this. I thought he was the sane one. He always used to be the sane one.
I want to be there for him but I just keep crying or being dissapointed. I just feel so abandoned and let down.
I'm mad at myself for putting him through so much crap, its no wonder he's like that.
I don't blame him.
We were supossed to be together this weekend. Its been so long since we've seen each other. I just am tired of putting plans aside or waiting for his schedule to clear up.
My mom is really irritating. I should not be getting annoyed at her right now, she tolerated my fits of insanity last night and today...But she is being so weird.
She keeps asking me if he's doing this to try and find a way out of this relationship, because maybe I've put demands that he can't meet on him. She thinks that my bisexuality has something to do with it. To her "bisexual" means permiscuous and perverted...she thinks I'm trying to get with other people or incorporate others into our relationship. She is one weird induvidual. I am perfectly happy in my relationship right now.
But after that little irritating conversation she switched gears completely and started blaming him. Suggesting that he is manipulative or something similar...She thinks he is using me to speak up to his mother for him, or else just as a cushion so that his mom doesn't get mad at him and just gets mad at me...I just dont' know. That is bizarre. Mike is not like that.
I love him. I really do. I just want things to be back to normal again. I want things to be perfect and happy and just functional.
I want everything to make sense again.
Am I going to see him tomorrow?
Will he go to Jack's?
Should I even go.....?!
I'm so worried and dissapointed and sad and angry and confused.
I never expected this. I thought he was the sane one. He always used to be the sane one.
I want to be there for him but I just keep crying or being dissapointed. I just feel so abandoned and let down.
I'm mad at myself for putting him through so much crap, its no wonder he's like that.
I don't blame him.
We were supossed to be together this weekend. Its been so long since we've seen each other. I just am tired of putting plans aside or waiting for his schedule to clear up.
My mom is really irritating. I should not be getting annoyed at her right now, she tolerated my fits of insanity last night and today...But she is being so weird.
She keeps asking me if he's doing this to try and find a way out of this relationship, because maybe I've put demands that he can't meet on him. She thinks that my bisexuality has something to do with it. To her "bisexual" means permiscuous and perverted...she thinks I'm trying to get with other people or incorporate others into our relationship. She is one weird induvidual. I am perfectly happy in my relationship right now.
But after that little irritating conversation she switched gears completely and started blaming him. Suggesting that he is manipulative or something similar...She thinks he is using me to speak up to his mother for him, or else just as a cushion so that his mom doesn't get mad at him and just gets mad at me...I just dont' know. That is bizarre. Mike is not like that.
I love him. I really do. I just want things to be back to normal again. I want things to be perfect and happy and just functional.
I want everything to make sense again.