(no subject)
i dont know how to feel. i dont know what to post. i miss my dad. it dosent feel like he is really gone. i love him so much. i feel like mary is shit. she was so horrible to me. absolutely horrible. i find myself crying all the time. i dont enjoy anything yet. i know its too soon, but i already cant wait to stop hurting. i cant let go o my fathers ashes. i held them the whole way home and slept with them next to me last night. i still cant let go of the box....its right next to me now at my desk. i just cant believe it. im crying again now.... i dont want him to be gone. earlier today i was talking to Sam and he asked me something reguarding my family and i diddnt know and i almost told him to ask my dad. i wish i had more of his things. i dont have his reading glasses. MAry said she couldnt find them. half of me wants to keep dads box untill i am ready to give it up and the other half of me thinks it will be healthier to give it up now. i want to keep it but smehow i feel like i will never be able to give it up when its time. i was hopeing to be able to post all of it but my mind is so fucking cloudy. i will try again later. but any of you reading this, i want to talk. im so lonely. i dont have any parents now... i dont expect any of you to understand, but just humor me please...