Finding my place in morass of imposed duties....
I am contemplating what responsibility I have to one who issues orders when those orders are followed more or less to the letter yet the plan fails due to wishful thinking on the part of the person issuing those aforesaid orders. I don't believe I have any responsibility to make things right again ... but why does it offend my sense of duty so? Why do I feel as if I am engaging in an act of betrayal or in dereliction of some important duty? It is so ... irregular. Now that I am doing things my way, it is being assumed that I should partake in duties I suggested would be in the best interest of the group to do a year ago because of the "privilege" of employment. I feel overwhelmed by the obligations pressed upon me and by the consequences of failing to meet those obligations. Advice once scorned is being treated by the fool as a promise. I fell into a rather deep depression while contemplating this today wherein I just hibernated all day with the only real activity being watching Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. What a waste.