I am about to make some questionable life choices.
We've just spent a whole hour on half a sentence. Which says everything it's supposed to say and the professor agrees that it does, but he thinks it could be improved, he just doesn't know how. So much for finishing by the end of June.
It's awful. I can barely look at my own best results. I'm too angry to be reasonable. And I guess this is the perfect moment to make some important life choices.
I'm not giving up on the phd, of course. This would be a terrible moment to give up. And I'm still going to do science, because that's what I want to do, that's what I'm good at and I'm not gonna let anyone take that away from me. But if we're not done with the editing by the end of the month, it's time for Plan B.
I can't get a 'proper' job at the university without a phd, but I don't need to. The temporary contracts aren't bad and all I need to get another one is be good at my job. So I'll focus on that. I'll work with the quantum guys. I'll try to get into some other fields too, if I can. I've got some interesting questions about chemistry which I might be able to answer at some point. And I probably have a bunch of answers too, waiting for the right questions. The point is that I'll focus on research and let the editing fade into the background. I'll get around to it when I have the time, but it's not my main priority. Will it take another ten months? Ten years? I don't care any more.
I'll dabble in different areas of science. I'll change affiliations every couple of months. Sometimes, between contracts, I might even use something that's not even a university as an affiliation.* And people will address me as 'Doctor' and I will politely correct them. And they will wonder what the hell my deal is. Why don't I apply for a 'serious' position? Why does the author of so many interesting results still not have a phd?
And what will I tell them? I could say I'm a rebel and I don't care about titles and degrees. I could say it would cramp my style. I could say (regardless of whether or not it's true) that there's just more money in those temporary contracts and weird little projects.** Or maybe I could tell the truth.***
And maybe some day that day will come. Professor T., or whoever replaces him as my advisor when he retires or dies, will say that my dissertation is perfect. Just a few more formalities, two easy exams and a defence and I will have that degree at last. And what then? Will I have the good sense to say yes? Will I have the nerve to say no? Only time will tell. A long, long time.
_______________________________
* I need something sufficiently ridiculous. Refuge in audacity. If I'm going to be a weirdo who exists on the outskirts of the academic community, I might as well have some fun with it.
** Let's face it, there probably isn't, but how would they know? Anyway, the weird little projects just might be more fun and if I was in this for the money I wouldn't even be here any more.
*** A friend suggests phrasing it as "My advisor is slow".
It's awful. I can barely look at my own best results. I'm too angry to be reasonable. And I guess this is the perfect moment to make some important life choices.
I'm not giving up on the phd, of course. This would be a terrible moment to give up. And I'm still going to do science, because that's what I want to do, that's what I'm good at and I'm not gonna let anyone take that away from me. But if we're not done with the editing by the end of the month, it's time for Plan B.
I can't get a 'proper' job at the university without a phd, but I don't need to. The temporary contracts aren't bad and all I need to get another one is be good at my job. So I'll focus on that. I'll work with the quantum guys. I'll try to get into some other fields too, if I can. I've got some interesting questions about chemistry which I might be able to answer at some point. And I probably have a bunch of answers too, waiting for the right questions. The point is that I'll focus on research and let the editing fade into the background. I'll get around to it when I have the time, but it's not my main priority. Will it take another ten months? Ten years? I don't care any more.
I'll dabble in different areas of science. I'll change affiliations every couple of months. Sometimes, between contracts, I might even use something that's not even a university as an affiliation.* And people will address me as 'Doctor' and I will politely correct them. And they will wonder what the hell my deal is. Why don't I apply for a 'serious' position? Why does the author of so many interesting results still not have a phd?
And what will I tell them? I could say I'm a rebel and I don't care about titles and degrees. I could say it would cramp my style. I could say (regardless of whether or not it's true) that there's just more money in those temporary contracts and weird little projects.** Or maybe I could tell the truth.***
And maybe some day that day will come. Professor T., or whoever replaces him as my advisor when he retires or dies, will say that my dissertation is perfect. Just a few more formalities, two easy exams and a defence and I will have that degree at last. And what then? Will I have the good sense to say yes? Will I have the nerve to say no? Only time will tell. A long, long time.
_______________________________
* I need something sufficiently ridiculous. Refuge in audacity. If I'm going to be a weirdo who exists on the outskirts of the academic community, I might as well have some fun with it.
** Let's face it, there probably isn't, but how would they know? Anyway, the weird little projects just might be more fun and if I was in this for the money I wouldn't even be here any more.
*** A friend suggests phrasing it as "My advisor is slow".