drabble: spn: sam leaves
basically i'm just trying to get some stuff out there. this is just a little drabble. basically up to 2x22. just something that grabbed me and i couldn't shake off.
***
Sam leaves.
Capitalized and italicized and bolded and underlined and three sizes bigger than they ought to be. That’s how the words always sound when Dean thinks them. They’re so fucking true that there’s no way to miss them, just like those bright, colorful, morbid posters of lost pets and reward money. Dozens lined up in a row on the same fucking fence to make sure that people can’t avoid seeing them.
Sam leaves, and Dean knows this. Recognizes it as part of his baby brother’s make up; understands that this is how he “copes”. Running. Skipping out on Dean and living off crap in a shithole apartment in a place called Flagstaff for two weeks. Throwing words like “California” and “scholarship” and “Stanford” at their father until he’s standing out in the middle of the street so fucking happy because he finally has what he wants. Slamming car doors after shooting Dean with rock salt and trying to hitchhike on deserted highways. Dying. Fucking dying in Dean’s arms like he has any goddamn right to leave this world before Dean’s say so. Because that’s what Sam does. He leaves.
But Dean brings him back - every single time.
***
Sam leaves.
Capitalized and italicized and bolded and underlined and three sizes bigger than they ought to be. That’s how the words always sound when Dean thinks them. They’re so fucking true that there’s no way to miss them, just like those bright, colorful, morbid posters of lost pets and reward money. Dozens lined up in a row on the same fucking fence to make sure that people can’t avoid seeing them.
Sam leaves, and Dean knows this. Recognizes it as part of his baby brother’s make up; understands that this is how he “copes”. Running. Skipping out on Dean and living off crap in a shithole apartment in a place called Flagstaff for two weeks. Throwing words like “California” and “scholarship” and “Stanford” at their father until he’s standing out in the middle of the street so fucking happy because he finally has what he wants. Slamming car doors after shooting Dean with rock salt and trying to hitchhike on deserted highways. Dying. Fucking dying in Dean’s arms like he has any goddamn right to leave this world before Dean’s say so. Because that’s what Sam does. He leaves.
But Dean brings him back - every single time.