(no subject)
Yesterday, I acquired more courage than usual from somewhere and I went to the study, where Emma was going over some business documents from Sheridan Walker, with a proposition in mind.
I knocked on the door and opened it slowly. Emma looked up and smiled. "Nearly finished." she said.
"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" I said.
"Were you born on the seventh circle of Hell or something?" she said, "It's ninety degrees or more."
"I could let it go cold." I said.
"Barbarian." she said, still smiling.
"We're going out on Saturday." I said.
She frowned. "No we're not, because it would be in the book and it isn't in the book and if it isn't in the book, then we're not."
"I don't mean we have some prearranged thing that we have to be at." I said, "I mean I am taking you out on Saturday night."
She looked at me as if I had suggested she might like to visit the dentist. "Why?" she said. Her eyes widened. "Have I forgotten something significant?"
"You're painting a sad picture of me as a husband." I said, "Is that really the only time I take you anywhere?" It probably is, to be honest, because it's so hard prising her hands off the doorway at Whiteturrets.
"The kids." she said.
"Ana and Tony." I said.
"You can't just assume ... "
"Asked and agreed." I said.
"You know what a mess I am at restaurants." she said.
"Never a problem when you went to them with Richard." I said.
"That's unfair." she said, "It was a massive problem, but he knew what to expect and he did all the ordering and stuff."
"Yes, well, obviously, I don't expect you to order anything, make eye contact with the staff or talk above a whisper. It's a corner table in a quiet Italian restaurant in a place where you really don't know anyone."
"I don't drink wine." she said.
"I know." I said, "We've done this before."
"No wine anywhere in the food." she said.
"I know." I said.
"Are you really sure you want to do this?" she said.
"I could wear a fake beard, if you're ashamed to be seen with me." I said.
"You know I'm not. It's me that's the embarrassment." she said.
"We're going out on Saturday night." I said, "Just this once, because I want to see you outside this house, doing something that doesn't involve Sheridan or the business."
"What if I refuse?" she said.
"You always have that right." I said.
"And if I do?" she said.
"Your crushed husband will regretfully accept your decision and allude to it resentfully for at least the next month."
"I'm no good at dates, never have been, never will be."
"Yeah, you said you would be no good at marriage."
"Why is this so important to you? You never make a fuss like this about anything." she said.
"Because I love you and I need you and me and an absence of anybody else, however closely related and I need to prove to you that it is possible for us to be together off the estate, in a public place, without our marriage collapsing like a house of cards. I love this place dearly, but it's not some magic pocket dimension you can't leave."
"Fine, but you do all the thinking." she said, "You pick what I wear, what we eat, everything."
"I know the drill." I said.
"I know I seem a bit reluctant." she said.
"A bit? No."
"It's a lovely thought, but I've been hopeless at this stuff from birth."
I took her hands and said, "Love, you can do anything, but anything you can't do, I can do for you."
"It was never easier with Richard," she said, "It just mattered less if I messed it up."
I kissed her and whispered, "It doesn't matter if you mess it up with me, because I'll just love you anyway."
When I went outside, Sean was waiting. "Is everything okay between you and Emma?" he said.
"Great." I said.
"I thought I heard an argument."
"I asked her out." I said.
"Out out?"
"To a restaurant out." I said.
"Bloody 'Ell, I wish I'd seen that bit of uncalled for valour."
"She agreed." I said, "Saturday night."
He suddenly sat cross-legged on the ground. "Teach me, oh Master." he said.
I knocked on the door and opened it slowly. Emma looked up and smiled. "Nearly finished." she said.
"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" I said.
"Were you born on the seventh circle of Hell or something?" she said, "It's ninety degrees or more."
"I could let it go cold." I said.
"Barbarian." she said, still smiling.
"We're going out on Saturday." I said.
She frowned. "No we're not, because it would be in the book and it isn't in the book and if it isn't in the book, then we're not."
"I don't mean we have some prearranged thing that we have to be at." I said, "I mean I am taking you out on Saturday night."
She looked at me as if I had suggested she might like to visit the dentist. "Why?" she said. Her eyes widened. "Have I forgotten something significant?"
"You're painting a sad picture of me as a husband." I said, "Is that really the only time I take you anywhere?" It probably is, to be honest, because it's so hard prising her hands off the doorway at Whiteturrets.
"The kids." she said.
"Ana and Tony." I said.
"You can't just assume ... "
"Asked and agreed." I said.
"You know what a mess I am at restaurants." she said.
"Never a problem when you went to them with Richard." I said.
"That's unfair." she said, "It was a massive problem, but he knew what to expect and he did all the ordering and stuff."
"Yes, well, obviously, I don't expect you to order anything, make eye contact with the staff or talk above a whisper. It's a corner table in a quiet Italian restaurant in a place where you really don't know anyone."
"I don't drink wine." she said.
"I know." I said, "We've done this before."
"No wine anywhere in the food." she said.
"I know." I said.
"Are you really sure you want to do this?" she said.
"I could wear a fake beard, if you're ashamed to be seen with me." I said.
"You know I'm not. It's me that's the embarrassment." she said.
"We're going out on Saturday night." I said, "Just this once, because I want to see you outside this house, doing something that doesn't involve Sheridan or the business."
"What if I refuse?" she said.
"You always have that right." I said.
"And if I do?" she said.
"Your crushed husband will regretfully accept your decision and allude to it resentfully for at least the next month."
"I'm no good at dates, never have been, never will be."
"Yeah, you said you would be no good at marriage."
"Why is this so important to you? You never make a fuss like this about anything." she said.
"Because I love you and I need you and me and an absence of anybody else, however closely related and I need to prove to you that it is possible for us to be together off the estate, in a public place, without our marriage collapsing like a house of cards. I love this place dearly, but it's not some magic pocket dimension you can't leave."
"Fine, but you do all the thinking." she said, "You pick what I wear, what we eat, everything."
"I know the drill." I said.
"I know I seem a bit reluctant." she said.
"A bit? No."
"It's a lovely thought, but I've been hopeless at this stuff from birth."
I took her hands and said, "Love, you can do anything, but anything you can't do, I can do for you."
"It was never easier with Richard," she said, "It just mattered less if I messed it up."
I kissed her and whispered, "It doesn't matter if you mess it up with me, because I'll just love you anyway."
When I went outside, Sean was waiting. "Is everything okay between you and Emma?" he said.
"Great." I said.
"I thought I heard an argument."
"I asked her out." I said.
"Out out?"
"To a restaurant out." I said.
"Bloody 'Ell, I wish I'd seen that bit of uncalled for valour."
"She agreed." I said, "Saturday night."
He suddenly sat cross-legged on the ground. "Teach me, oh Master." he said.