5:13 AM
Three things:
First, a dream. I am walking down a street and I do not know where I am so I keep looking into the foyer of buildings, hoping to recognize my apartment. My phone is ringing but I am ignoring it because I cannot focus on anything else except figuring out where I am. As I pass the next building, I see my roommate, Adam, trying to get into our apartment, with his phone out. I wake up with a jolt, as if from a nightmare. I have never had a totally innocuous dream induce the wake-up-jolt before.
The Second is related to the First.. maybe. I walk around alone a lot at night for various reasons. Recently, I have been having this feeling like I should just keep walking when I am walking around late at night. Like, just walk away and not come back. My mind says, "Just go, just go, just go." I think I am ready to finish up here and move on.
Third, I played chess tonight. I played some of my best blitz games ever-- lots of very nice tactics, which have been a neglected weak point in my game. I was feeling great. Inspired. Happy. Confident. While I was sitting there waiting for my opponent to move I thought a little bit about something Brian mentioned to me on Friday night. We had just played a few games, and, as usual, we got involved in some pretty interesting, beautiful positions. On the way to the Future Animators of the Future show, we were talking about the games and marvelling about how great a game chess is. Brian mentioned that if he had to, he would give up sex for chess and it was not even a close decision in his mind. Of course, I laughed with/at him even though he assured me he was completely serious. However, tonight, sitting there waiting for my opponent to resign after pulling a great combination, listening to the clicking of the pieces, the slamming of the clocks and the familiar multilingual grumbling of the assorted old men, I realized that he was right-- I would totally give up sex for chess. The proof was already there. I was spending yet another Saturday night not at a bar looking for a girl-- I was sitting in a coffee shop looking for some games.
First, a dream. I am walking down a street and I do not know where I am so I keep looking into the foyer of buildings, hoping to recognize my apartment. My phone is ringing but I am ignoring it because I cannot focus on anything else except figuring out where I am. As I pass the next building, I see my roommate, Adam, trying to get into our apartment, with his phone out. I wake up with a jolt, as if from a nightmare. I have never had a totally innocuous dream induce the wake-up-jolt before.
The Second is related to the First.. maybe. I walk around alone a lot at night for various reasons. Recently, I have been having this feeling like I should just keep walking when I am walking around late at night. Like, just walk away and not come back. My mind says, "Just go, just go, just go." I think I am ready to finish up here and move on.
Third, I played chess tonight. I played some of my best blitz games ever-- lots of very nice tactics, which have been a neglected weak point in my game. I was feeling great. Inspired. Happy. Confident. While I was sitting there waiting for my opponent to move I thought a little bit about something Brian mentioned to me on Friday night. We had just played a few games, and, as usual, we got involved in some pretty interesting, beautiful positions. On the way to the Future Animators of the Future show, we were talking about the games and marvelling about how great a game chess is. Brian mentioned that if he had to, he would give up sex for chess and it was not even a close decision in his mind. Of course, I laughed with/at him even though he assured me he was completely serious. However, tonight, sitting there waiting for my opponent to resign after pulling a great combination, listening to the clicking of the pieces, the slamming of the clocks and the familiar multilingual grumbling of the assorted old men, I realized that he was right-- I would totally give up sex for chess. The proof was already there. I was spending yet another Saturday night not at a bar looking for a girl-- I was sitting in a coffee shop looking for some games.