Who are you? From beautiesnbeasts
The thing that had been plaguing me, wasn't the fact that I knew that I had a soul, or that I actually did. What was plaguing me, what bloody bothered me to no end, what made me want to gnaw my own hands off after poking my own eyes out, was that I knew that I wasn't doing the right thing anymore, and yet, here I was, almost as if I were weak, which wasn't the case, at the house that had been my own for two and a half centuries. Here I was at Fangdan and Rory's castle on the Thames, a place that demons feared unless they were in, and that women, human and demon, adored.
This couldn't be who I was anymore. Fangdan knew that something was wrong with me. He knew that I had a soul. He knew that the Sofilars were dead and because he thought that it was me that killed them, he excused my soul. He excused it and went on with our daily schemes as if nothing had changed. The problem with that bloody theorum was that everything had changed. Everything had changed. I had a soul. I didn't have the heart to kill after Brandy left, before I had gained a soul, and I certainly didn't now. I was just being weak.
I was being called to help somebody, a girl, a girl whom I didn't even know and had never seen before, and I had no intention or inclination of helping her. I still was being weak, and it bothered me through and through. Just because I had gotten a soul and wasn't going to help this strange girl, probably a slayer, didn't mean that I had to stay around Fangdan and his lecherous and torturous ways, that I no longer agreed with...anymore.
I decided to leave and packed up some of my belongings. All of them would have taken a truck to move, but I packed up some of them and started out, with several bags on my shoulders, and in my hands. I was met by Fangdan and Leetchy on the way out and they asked me where I was going, looking at me the way that they did now, with horror how such a great demon could be so infected with humanity. I explined to them, taking no prisoners, that this wasn't my place anymore and that even if I lost my soul again, I wouldn't be coming back here.
The fight that nearly happened, was quelled when I told Fangdan that he wasn't losing a great warrior, when I told him that it was Justin that had killed the Sofilar's and not me. He wouldn't look at me the same, not that it mattered. I wasn't going to be in England, or even in Europe anymore. Fangdan's influence and my reputation were far too reaching in underworld circles here in Europe. I needed to go somewhere else and naturally, I chose that I would be going to the states. That's where Brandy had gone, and I was going to follow. I didn't plan on killing, unless I had to, but I wasn't helping some girl out either. That wasn't who I was and it was outlandish to go from a bloody murderer to a savior in the course of one day. At least in my mind.
I made it out of the palace and into the tunnel, the very tunnel under the Thames where a soul had mysteriously been inflicted upon me by the ghost of something that was dead...somehow. On the way out, halfway to the other side, the sun still out, I realized that I was very much stuck and not in the mood to get wet. I also realized that I wasn't alone. It wasn't a vampire coming my way, although there was half of a demon in the being, and it wasn't a familiar scent.
"Turn around, or you will die, stranger. If not at my hands, then at the hands of another when you reach solid ground."
[Doyle]
This couldn't be who I was anymore. Fangdan knew that something was wrong with me. He knew that I had a soul. He knew that the Sofilars were dead and because he thought that it was me that killed them, he excused my soul. He excused it and went on with our daily schemes as if nothing had changed. The problem with that bloody theorum was that everything had changed. Everything had changed. I had a soul. I didn't have the heart to kill after Brandy left, before I had gained a soul, and I certainly didn't now. I was just being weak.
I was being called to help somebody, a girl, a girl whom I didn't even know and had never seen before, and I had no intention or inclination of helping her. I still was being weak, and it bothered me through and through. Just because I had gotten a soul and wasn't going to help this strange girl, probably a slayer, didn't mean that I had to stay around Fangdan and his lecherous and torturous ways, that I no longer agreed with...anymore.
I decided to leave and packed up some of my belongings. All of them would have taken a truck to move, but I packed up some of them and started out, with several bags on my shoulders, and in my hands. I was met by Fangdan and Leetchy on the way out and they asked me where I was going, looking at me the way that they did now, with horror how such a great demon could be so infected with humanity. I explined to them, taking no prisoners, that this wasn't my place anymore and that even if I lost my soul again, I wouldn't be coming back here.
The fight that nearly happened, was quelled when I told Fangdan that he wasn't losing a great warrior, when I told him that it was Justin that had killed the Sofilar's and not me. He wouldn't look at me the same, not that it mattered. I wasn't going to be in England, or even in Europe anymore. Fangdan's influence and my reputation were far too reaching in underworld circles here in Europe. I needed to go somewhere else and naturally, I chose that I would be going to the states. That's where Brandy had gone, and I was going to follow. I didn't plan on killing, unless I had to, but I wasn't helping some girl out either. That wasn't who I was and it was outlandish to go from a bloody murderer to a savior in the course of one day. At least in my mind.
I made it out of the palace and into the tunnel, the very tunnel under the Thames where a soul had mysteriously been inflicted upon me by the ghost of something that was dead...somehow. On the way out, halfway to the other side, the sun still out, I realized that I was very much stuck and not in the mood to get wet. I also realized that I wasn't alone. It wasn't a vampire coming my way, although there was half of a demon in the being, and it wasn't a familiar scent.
"Turn around, or you will die, stranger. If not at my hands, then at the hands of another when you reach solid ground."
[Doyle]