surreal.
im so out of it right now. being at school this week was apparently being in another world, because i was unaware of what happened to dennis thomson. i was so wrapped up in the drama at school last weekend and midterm exams this week, that i totally fell out of the loop. i cant even begin to express how completely blown away and upset i am about this. i wasnt dennis' best bud but i know the guy, and what a great guy he is. i met him when i started highschool .. he was dating my friend julia. he's been to my house before and in tenth grade helped my bday party not get so outta hand. He's seriously one of the most genuine guys that ive known. and it SUCKS that his life is being cut short because of an ASSHOLE who couldnt stop what he was doing to say "Hey ive had a few beers, maybe i SHOULDNT DRIVE". This is what all of last weekend's drama was about at school. We all went to Colin's apt. (on campus) and drank a lot. But since we only had to walk to our dorms-- no biggie. But then we're all outside at around 1:30am.. and everyone decides we are going to J street. And im the only one concerned about how we're getting there. Whitney explains we're going in her car. I protest saying she is shitfaced, and then Carrie says well how about I drive since I am "less drunk". HMM.. "less drunk".. im PRETTY sure that if the word drunk is STILL in there, it doesnt qualify as ABLE TO DRIVE! So i explain this as we are walking to the car. No one is listening to me so I do what any rational drunk person would do: call emily who is in salem and cry. So emily is pissed because shes not on campus so there's nothing she can do. She says she will talk to Whitney so as they are driving and stop in front of me (i refused to walk to the car and sat on the ground) I got inside (i know retarded) and give the phone to Whitney. I ask her to please pull over.. and we'll talk to emily. Whitney hung up on emily and started driving. She wasnt listening to either of us! Emily then called Lauren who called Nate and Jill (they were on campus sober). They called me and came out to get us. (OH and I was pretty upset that no one else would back me up on the drunk driving.. i was the only one against it). When they got there, fights with Whitney ensued and somehow we got her keys. So after a few days I see her and shes fine, a little distant but we're still fine. So she IMs middle of the week and starts telling me that I started "huge problems" this weekend and shouldve handled things differently. And when I told her we should talk IN PERSON (you know so certain people cant hide behind a computer) she refused, and claimed "Im sick of explaining myself to you ppl". Later she told me "you ppl" meant her "friends" at school. Apparently we dont really "know" her. Well all I need to know is that she doesnt have a problem with getting behind the wheel wicked drunk and thats NOT COOL. So the other day i saw and as soon as she saw me she either opened up her cell phone as if she was getting a call or there would convieniently be something she needs to get out of her eye. It's kind of funny because in what way should she be pissed at me?? because i care more about her well being and that of our friends and innocent people then causing "huge problems". Well i say FUCK THAT. She should be THANKING ME. Doesnt she fucking get it? Doesnt anyone? Whats ironic is Dennis got hit at 1:30am on Saturday night, and at that exact moment Whitney was getting into her car shitfaced, and I was the only one out of 6 people protesting it. Even now.. i called carrie (friend there that night not having my back) and told her about dennis. She doesnt even get it. She said oh thats too bad. But she called me not even two hours later laughing about something stupid. She's probably drunk. fuck this.. i dont know what to think about soo many things right now